| Show I 1 I 1 AN EDITOR MARRIED his s opinion on the past and present saunders of the evensville evansville Evens ville journal I 1 recently took a trip to iowa and persuaded some kind hearted girl to share his miseries upon his return home he held forth as follows in announcing the fact of our return home with a rib we cannot refrain from expressing our profound degust of and bachelors and we expect to be disgusted with both for several weeks we are well aware that in time gone by we occasionally made ridiculous in the eyes of sensible men by upholding the bachelor state as the only life of happiness independence and earthly glory but we were young and green then and of course knew but one side of the subject now stand up here you cons arned ugly pictures of humanity rejoicing in the name of bachelors and answer us a few questions what are you fit for in this world what are you doing for posterity what interest have you in th e generations yet unborn you read of what will you be when old men if your vile habits ever permit you to arrive at a good old age wont you be like lonely seared and scathed swathed trees standing in a big clearing without a companion and your life ur unprotected from the frost by young and shrubs at your f feet beet or wont you be like pumpkins in a cornfield more prominent because of your prodigious ugliness than the stalks at your side laden with golden graino hold your heads up talk like men whether youcan you can act so or not now dont you feel ashamed of yourselves look at the girls about you all smiles and sugar sagar hearts overflowing overflowing with love ready to be spilled on the first good fellow ellow that can touch their sympathies feeling rich as cream which by a kindred spirit can soon be churned into butter and spread over your life till you are happy as the birds of aping look adem and feel the disgusting position you occupy in the cabbage garden of humanity what are you holding back for now just reform put pat on your best looks and other coat ice cream them talk to them prettily drive them walk them please them then propose get ac accepted and then marry and the country will rely on you as a faithful acdwell and well disposed citizen |
