OCR Text |
Show FEATURE Lacey 13 has trouble breathing in her tight dress as she stands next to new husband, receiving congratulations from loved ones and strangers. This is the happiest day of her life. The cake looks perfect. The But there is of her mind her flowers look perfect. She looks perfect. thing tugging in the back one actual worry. No one will talk to her about what will actually happen to her tonight. Shes nervous husband She as she stands next to herscfely-clothwishes someone would have sat her down and had a serious conversation with her, someone like her mom. Lacey gets frustrated at the thought. Its her job, isnt it? ed wedding night. Earlier that day, she received jokes and herfriends. "You're going to have a fun teas-ingfr- om night... You're going to have a REAL good time. Dont go making honeymoon babies, now.9 She laughs along .. with her friends, hiding her it when he lies mother. She's a worrisome and he loves her. He knows how easily upset andfrustrated she can get with his actions especially since he left Mark doesn't like the church two years ago. So when she asks him if he's seeing anyone, he lies. His father is a smart man, though, and Mark is sure his father knows that he's not a virgin anymore. Hes a single, male who frequently finds ways to spend time with pretty women. One thing often leads to another, and that's that. Marks dad doesnt know who Mark has slept with, or when, but 22-year-- old smart and can guess as much. Marks mother is always questioning his friendships with women and whether they are Lacey Miles waited until her wedding night to first have sex, due to her LDS faith. She 100 percent agrees with having abstinence-onl- y in schools. People that have sex before marriage often sex education intimate ones. She doesn't make a big deal out of it, but she still makes an effort to ask. Its seldom that they have these conversations, but they always end with a lie. Mark Chamberlain had his first sex ed experience in the seventh grade when he was 13. It was primarily an anatomy lesson. "I learned the different types of body parts, basic bodily functions, diseases and safety, 9 he said. "We didn't talk about any emotional aspects. I suppose you learn more about the diseases, traumatic effects and all the bad things that happen instead, like birth and the consequences ofsex.9 he's At age 1 7, Rians father demands she gets birth control. She to move out of her parents home and live in her car the only condition is that she gets birth control. Her father commands it or else he will force her to continue living at home. Her boyfriend, Kevin, is also pressuring her to start taking birth control they hadnt begun to have sex yet, but they had talked about it. Rian has never learned anything about birth control, and neither Kevin nor her father would help her with deciding which one to take. When she arrives at the clinic, its the first time she has ever heard about the different kinds of birth control she could use. She has 10 minutes to decide. She chooses to get a hormonal implant in her arm. She has no idea how effective it is. Shortly after, she begins to have miserable side effects from it including a Mark Chamberlain is 22 years many answers. The only thing she knows is that this weird lump9 in her arm makes it so she can't get pregnant. "I didn't know anything, 9 she says. "I was 9 given no answers. Ifshe hadn't been pressured to get the implant, shes sure she wouldn't have had sex as early as she did. She would have waited until she had done more research and been more educated. Rian believes if she had learned about birth control in school, she would have been more prepared when she was pressured to make a rushed decision. Rian Kirsch is 21 years old period. She eventually goes to a different clinic that gives her expired birth control pills 9 to balance her out. She has no idea she is putting even more hormones into her body. Three years later, she still doesnt have of his friends to Kyler Salazar is 19 and grew up in high Kyler goesouttoasa gay high school of only in Salt Lake County without influences of the LDS faith in his family. He said he is grateful for how open his family was and the education he received from sexual discussions they had. In his high school sex ed classes, he said he wasnt taught much. We talked about how you should be abstinent until marriage, that sex is bad and that condoms dont work, he said. Rather than not teaching about how to have sex, they should teach how to have sex safely. People arent being educated about how anything works. school. 300 students and is well-knoamong his peers. After he came out, it seemed as if everyone else started to come out. Shortly after his announcement, he talks to his friend about what its like having sex with another boy. Im just glad that I dont have to use a wn 9 one friend says. "Why?. Kyler asks, completely shocked by condom, this statement. " Because I dont have partner getting pregnant. to 9 worry about my Laceys parents refused to talk about sex. Prior to her first sexual encounter, most of her knowledge came from her boyfriend (now according to Planned Parenthoods website. However, when people end their period of ab- husband, who had sex before their relationship stinence, they may not be prepared to protect themselves against pregnancy or infection. Lacey said that she couldnt understand what sex really was because of the law prohibiting discussion about the intricacies of sex. She said she also doesnt understand why contraception cant be talked about, seeing how, in her opinion, it can help a lot of people. old and grew up in Utah with dominant LDS influences. He is no longer an active member of the church. Growing up Mormon, sex was deemed holy, he said. It was something you didnt know much about, just that you werent supposed to do it until you were married. Marks parents also educated him about sex when he was young. They discussed stimulation and that it was a great feeling but something he shouldnt do yet. Masturbation and sexual favors (oral sex and the like) are also frowned upon actions in the LDS church. At age 19, Mark became sexually active. His first time was premarital and his middle began). Because of this, Lacey said she felt pre- pared enough when they first had sex. However, she said she was still incredibly nervous and unsure when the moment came. Planned Parenthoods website states that abstinence is the best form of birth control The bigger issue is when that abstinence stops and people are unaware of how to protect themselves from unwanted pregnancy and STDs. mind. Anything from life you learn from experience, he said. It came pretty naturally. And 98 percent of us teenage boys have watched porn, and we understand the ba- SICS. n Mark was exaggerating, he wasnt that far off. In 2013, The Huffington Though Post collected data from multiple studies and deduced that 70 percent of men have watched porn. For boys between ages 10 and 17, that number is 40 percent. Back then, sex is seen as the super-dup-version of making out, Mark said. Then you try to get as close to doing it without really doing it. er school sex ed class was the last thing on his and also grew up in the LDS church. Her first sex education experience happened when she was in seventh grade. She recalled learning about STDs and basic anatomy but nothing about actual intercourse. Abstinence was strongly emphasized. I dont think it was a scare tactic, she said. I was already grossed out by naked people, so it was kind of the same. In high school, Rian took an adult roles class, which taught her about babies, rapesexual assault and female anatomy. is the first get pregnant, and then they have to get married, and then the baby has a horrible life, she said. There are few disadvantages to abstinence, She also learned the dos and donts of sex, which she found biased. From there, she educated herself with the Internet, a place she could freely ask questions. Often, her friends would make sexual comments, jokes or innuendos, and she would look them up later. During this time, a policy on abstine- discussions was tightening its hold on Utah schools. When the bill for Utahs abstineeducation came about, supnce-only porters argued that sex education should be left up to parents, according to an article in The Deseret News. However, Utah nce-only Gary Herbert responded by saying, In order for parents to take on more responsibility, they need more information, more involvement. Rians parents were ones who were not Gov. involved. My family didnt talk about it at all," she said. The only time I ever had a conversation with them about it was when my father insisted I get birth control when I moved out. Rian began to have sex at 17 years old, Young gay and bisexual men (aged 4) accounted for an estimated 19 percent of all new HIV infections in the US in 2010, according to the CDC. Gay men that I went to school with thought that since they werent having sex with a woman that they didnt need to wear condoms, Kyler said. But you need to use them to protect from STDs. Another Utah sex education regulation prohibits the discussion of homosexuality in school even if a student asks a teacher directly about it. In Utah, gay and lesbian couples head one in every 150 households an increase of 73 percent in 13-2- which is the average age young adults first have sex, according to Planned Parenthood. I had a lot of questions about what sex was and what different kinds of birth control were available, Rian said. I didnt even know anything about condoms. We were just taught abstinence. There are 17 different methods of birth control, according to the Centers of Disease Control Prevention, with hundreds of different brands for each method and their own separate side effects. Rian said sex education courses should and empowerfocus more on ment. She wasnt comfortable with how premarital sex was shown in a negative light and how degrading it was seen to others. People are going to be having sex no matter what, so its good to make people aware of what to do, like with contraception, Rian said. Its good to encourage marriage, families and commitment, but its wrong to shame people who arent abself-wor- th stinent. the last decade, according to the 2010 census. We need to stop hiding that homosexuality is a thing especially since its legal to be married now, Kyler said. Everyone should be allowed to learn how to have safe sex. |