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Show FEATURE 11 How ERIN MOORE j Ybu know when theres a and how everyone talks it for a few days? We each other with how tragics. In a way, we feel the pain of people dealing with an earthquake or a bombing or a draught, somewhere across the world. But we are still able to live our lives while we are aware of these events. We get on. We are to Relate, for White has many experiences like our own, less so people who we have less in common with. Staying disconnected from others allows us to get on in our own lives more easily, or it does if youre a person coming from a place of privilege. And this is that state of white people I just mentioned. We look at things like racism or sexism and say Man, that stuff is terrible, Im glad that its 2016 and we dont have to deal with that anymore, This is false. To make a blanket statements like this ignores the fact that individuals, groups, and even countries are As a white girl, I dont experience racism, but as a white girl, I do experience sexism. This is a simple example of having a faceted existence. We are all made up of parts, and we cannot say that the experiences of others are null because we dont experience them separate from those events. Our sympathy flickers on and then off again. We are aware, but in our cores, we are ready to forget. Translate this flickering to our everyday relationships. This is the state that white people exist in all the time, when it comes to relating to others. Our society functions in a way that demands we separate ourselves ourselves. from one another, that we withhold feelings From one white kid to another, it doesnt of empathy. We are encouraged to connect ' with people in our social classes, with people destroy you to let your guard down and who look like us, who grew up like us, who listen to others. It will make you and your have led lives similar to ours. This makes relationships stronger. We carry our ignosense. Its easy to get on with someone who rance casually, by way of jokes and common multi-facete- d. ; language. These are microaggressions. Mi- croaggressions remind marginalized people (queer people, trans people, disabled people, women, people of color) that they are not like everyone else, that they are different, and it is implied with this focus, lesser. Even men experience minor microaggressions that aim to keep them in a box of strict masculinity. Men become the butt of jokes when they dabble in anything feminine (the hate on man buns, anyone?). And these things keep us apart. They keep us from relating to one another, and instead train us to see people as foreign objects. These behaviors are the small blocks that keep big walls up around marginalized people in terms of education, work, and housing opportunities. As white people, thinking about marginalized people as different works horribly against them, even if it doesnt feel like it to us. Even as a white of these issues and girl who is hyper-awaconstantly trying to educate myself in new ways, I feel that disconnect. I am aware of and sympathetic to the issues suffered by re Kids marginalized groups, and I seek to understand their feelings of dissatisfaction and pain. But I do not feel their feelings in my bones the way they do. It does not break me down. Even my experiences as a woman arent as exhausting as those of female friends of mine who have been through sexual assaults or in bad relationships. I do not feel their female experience the way they feel it. Thats to be expected. We cannot ever fully put ourselves in anothers shoes. But we have ears and eyes and minds and we can listen and see and think. We do not have to be ignorant to the experiences of others. Ignoring opportunities to learn is a choice. Even when one makes the choice to learn, there is no end, no graduation from that education. I can never walk in the shoes of other people, or even in those of my close friends. But I will press my foot into that stiff shoe until it bleeds. When were ignored, we doubt our voices. If no one is listening, am I even heard? It is our responsibility to listen to others. I am here, and I am listening. n Heterosexual? Everything So And Why Do Heterosexuals Not Question It? Why R. Is LARE eterosexuals are uniquely positioned in society. Yet, heterosexuals are never really required to think about being heterosexual in the ways queer folk are required to position our experiences and lives to heterosexuality. When a person is queer their queerness is compared to backdrop of heterosexuality. Heterosexuality is considered the origin, and everything else moves from that. No matter what we do, how much we protest, or who we are, our lives will never escape the overwhelming Heterosexual institution which surrounds us. I would venture to say many heterosexuals would not consider Heterosexuality to be an institution. They are wrong. sexuality is held up as what is aspired to be; heterosexuality is the norm. But further, it is a norm that is forced upon everyone. Chiefly the Heterosexual institution affects queer folk but heterosexuals are most certainly affected by it too. If one can go ones entire existence without questioning what is to be Heterosexual, one is effected by the Hetero God-Dam- sexual institution. A critique or commentary of the Heterosexual institution is not one of all people who claim the tide heterosexual, but instead the ways in heterosexuality is forced. It would impossible to quantify all the ways in which heterosexuals are privileged over queer folk, not to mention, it would be foolish to claim to speak or voice all queer experiences with the Heterosexual institution. So this record of Heterosexual privileges is very much from my perspective as y, masculine presenting, a queer, non-binar- person (google it). First off all, you never have to come out. And, please, allies do not go declare that you are heterosexual on Facebook on National Coming Out Day thats our day. Its just assumed that everyone, from the first breath they take, is heterosexual. Thats odd. And then, of course, no one is immune from the continuous cultural reinforcement of hetero-monogam- y. y. Let me elaborate on I would be willing to bet that from a very young age anyone reading this has been capable of recognizing the image of a white heterosexual couple on top of a wedding hetero-monogam- ? cake. (Aside: do some people not examine the connection between purity and whiteness? And by whiteness, I, of course, mean white folk. Theres a reason why women are supposed to wear white on their wedding, because whiteness, as in white folk, and in particular, white women, convey arpurity and innocence.) Or, the age-ogument of saving oneself till marriage, and then being with that one person, forever (think: one man, one women). The idea that another person is your missing piece. is not only a function of the Heterosexual institution and sexism that is forced upon queers again, our expressions and experiences are compared on but also, its a backdrop of Heterosexuality a function of white supremacy. Heterosexuals who consider themselves to be standing in solidarity with queer folk need to start questioning what it means to be heterosexual and the roots of the Heterosexual instild Hetero-monoga- tution. Heterosexuals will never be perceived as being deviant, abnormal, degenerate, less than, or mentally ill for their heterosexuality. This is the source of coundess heterosexual privileges. No one tells Heterosexuals their existence is in sin for being heterosexual. Heterosexuals do not have to struggle to find representation of heterosexuals in media. Heterosexuals can present or express themselves without it being viewed as reflection of all heterosexuals. Heterosexuals are not questioned on their concepts of sex and sexual expression. Heterosexuals are not denied housing or employment for being heterosexual. Heterosexuals have never been hunted down and killed for being heterosexual. Regardless if individual heterosexuals want to admit it or not, the simple existence of the Heterosexual institution oppresses queer folk. The Heterosexual institution is what makes us queer in the first place. The Heterosexual institution, to this day, kills queers. Why are heterosexuals okay with this? If you want queers to believe you stand in solidarity with us, start thinking beyond marriage equality. Start questioning what it means to be heterosexual. |