OCR Text |
Show March 11, 1983 Forum Page 4 SpORtS Look Sports and once went to out." Comedian Can you a hockey game broke Henny Youngmans line will live in a I fight Unbelievable. In the All-St- EPITHET EP0DE HYPERBOLE IRONY LITOTES LAMPOON MALAPR0PISM METAPHOR MOTIF OXYMORON PARABLE PARADOX 'PARODY PLOT Action from a recent intramural game POETRY RMs Meet Wizards finals. If Wizards beat RMs on Saturday, the same two teams would meet the next day at 6:00 p.m. at the Payne Gym. Results will be published in next weeks issue. Drue II was the mens regular season champion, while Ladies in Waiting won the womens title. FINAL REGULAR SEASON STANDINGS: Mens League Drue II Wizards Return Missionaries Flash 7 2 6 5 3 Eagles 1 3 4 6 8 Womens League Ladies in Waiting Wild Bunch 4 1 3 2 Generics 1 4 game last month Gretzky was, well, Four Wayne Gretzky. goals, all in the third period. A new goal scoring record, for both the game and a period. He took what is usually just an exhibition game and turned it into a hockey clinic. I loved it so much that I stayed up until four in the morning to watch the replay of the game. I hope more of you take a glance at Wayne Gretzky before he becomes history. While he makes history. ' Scott Kaiser Yearbooks Can Be Mailed 1, Scott Kaiser SIMILE STANZA Return Missionaries and the Wizards were to meet in the finals of the mens intramural double elimination tournament last Saturday. RMs defeated Flash 50-4- 0 and the Wizards 47-4- 6 in overtime to reach the finals, while the Wizards bounced back from that loss to beat Drue II 48-4- 4 to also reach the TOURNAMENT RESULTS: PSEUDONYM RHYTHM SPOONERISM In Finals ar Students who wish to have their 1982-8- 3 Etosian mailed to them will be required to pay a $2.00 postage fee per book. Yearbook staff members will be available in the Shaw Center lounge between 9 a.m. and 7 p.m. on Wednesday, March 16, and Thursday, March 17, to collect the postage and to obtain correct mailing addresses. If these two dates are inconvenient, contact the Etosian editor, Sheri extension Dearing, at 484-765286. Addresses and money must be turned in no later than March 30, 1983. terms? COMEDY ar past the astonished goaltender. Gretzkys goal scoring ability is what makes him stand above the rest. 92 goals during the 1981-8- 2 season. In 80 games. 50 goals in his first 39 games. The old record was 50 goals in 50 games. Gretzky destroyed that record. Its like hitting 75 home runs or running a 3:30 mile. literary ANTITHESIS ever before. 1976. But no one has meant as much to hockey as Wayne Gretzky. He is, without a doubt (forgive me, Bobby Orr), the greatest hockey player of all time. Gretzky, who just turned 22 (!), holds 27 individual NHL records, achieved in only four and a half seasons. Gordie Howe, the great Detroit Red Wing, played 23 seasons and holds 14 records. If the Great Gretzky" remains healthy, he will certainly break all of Howes records, except for penalty minutes. Gretzkys exciting brand of nonviolent hockey will ensure that. How has Gretzky changed hockey? For one thing, he has brought back skating and puck handling. He controls the puck on his stick like no other human being. He draws two or three men to him and then drops the puck off to a teammate for an easy goal. Gretzky naturally holds the record for most assists in a season, notching 1 20 during the 1981-8- 2 season. Another thing that Gretzky has done is use the area behind the net to his advantge. Most players feel too intimidated by the small area to use it to their benefit. Gretzky uses it like an extra player or a screen. He draws defensemen to him, again leaving his teammates open. The Great One has also passed the puck over the net to set up a goal. If he is left alone, he moves in front to stuff the puck the ALLITERATION ANAPEST infamy, although the National Hockey League (NHL) wishes it wouldnt. Although the sport is still infected with goons, hockey is less violent and more exciting than Those of you who were lucky enough to witness the 35th NHL All-Stgame on the USA cable network last Feb. 8 could witness the change. Up and down action, good defense, no fights, and Wayne Gretzky. Without a doubt, Wayne Gretzky of the Edmonton Oilers has changed hockey like no other athlete has changed his or her sport. In the 1970s the sport was haunted by "intimidation hockey. It wasnt how well you could skate or shoot, but how well you could fight. To hockey fans, not to mention others, it was sickening. The Philadelphia Flyers "Iowlighted this era with their Stanley Cup championships in 1974 and 1975. This team beat others into the ground (or should I say ice?). The Flyers still hold the record for the most penalty minutes assessed during a single season. Fortunately for hockey, the svelte, smooth Montreal Canadians helped change this trend with four straight Stanley Cup titles, beginning in collegiate camouflage find hidden SYNECDOCHE TRAGEDY Faculty and Students Board Articles of Incorporation for Westminster College of Salt Lake City do not provide for student or faculty representatives on the Board of Trustees, according to Dr. Douglas Steeples, executive vice president and dean of the faculty. The new Articles of Incorporation state that no employee of the College or currently enrolled student may serve on the Board of Trustees. Steeples said students and faculty may ask for an invitation to make presentations. They will not, however, continue as voting members. "I dont know of any problems due to student and faculty representation, said Steeples. "This move is for legal reasons. Employees should not be voting members of the Board of Directors of a corporation, he said. Board members are bound legally to make decisions that are best for the College, not for personal gain. According to Steeples, students and faculty members have too much of a personal stake in the College to be objective. Steeples said that student and faculty members "build into the composition of the Board a fundamental conflict of interest. According to Dr. Jack Gifford, one of the early faculty representatives, the Board was organized in committees at the time student and faculty reps were introduced. Faculty members were not allowed to sit in on committees where there could have been a conflict of interest. Formerly, the Articles of Incorporation did not require or prohibit anyone from serving on the Board. However, Manford Shaw, former president of the College, introduced the idea of having at least one student member on the Board of Trustees, according to minutes from the September 28, 1971, Board meeting. Minutes of the November 18, 1971, meeting confirm that Edward Sweeny, student body president, and Lori Pinder, student representative, became the firt official student members of the Board of Trustees. Steeples said, and Gifford agreed, that the addition of these representatives was in tune with the times. Gifford said a majority of the teachers wanted faculty representation, as well as student representation. A presentation was made to the Board on September 19, 1972, requesting that two elected faculty persons become trustees. Dr. Marcus parr and Mr. Arnold Rothermich were accepted as the first faculty members to vote on the Board of Trustees. Sheri Dearing |