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Show IliM Itnvo you any -- 1 g "Arc jbu asked N I' 1W," that will wind itself, VJ: Mv wife hah been' i',l9 for uiu'W watch, but pesWr-r- l I know remember to wind it after will rust out, just jiijrlit, and it 0UCK3 Strong Appmlti. n cannibal, Mr. Cumso? w- - l'angle. "Why, no, Froildy; of course not." "Well, 1 heard pa toll mu that you swallowed three lingers lust night ,N. Y. .?n,u-- , Journal. K lilnktil lr.:vel in Afrloa. Station Agent (on the train) Great that kind, but I Heaven v! where ia the conductor? I Mvatch dont see ldi,'). . phoirographio a patent' at the uie Ilngineer The flr .t elass passengers proper ,Wiud U shouts got hungry, and ate bin) up. Texas Siftnight," ;; won't do. My wifell just pay t ings. a ml then forget all about i minute .p n , I in, ii.ij.-nlini tell you what we want. Youit Darylievll l4 uppearing needs if winding when In oplniu den) lbdd up y'r hands! so that Comrades whistle I, ut and Don'tec Jiang . Ivov, ) proprietor) attends tolt.-- N. sliooteui Von ilmotee you ze: pi pee! See! Thiei"o Tribune. tfo Orssiiio Disease. itfSwiijro He, . J,t iies, IS L these ll, Gumpss-We- i don't know muck, that's f knoW what a time Ive 1 johnnys mouth lately f vr-you tojd me. Well, at last I took Gum pps h, doctor. Tho doctor looked K, hadnt no and said Jolmny And yet there John-li- t Lft disease. his lips right in plain sight with tho mouth organ, ,re from playin ' y, Weekly. i Yes, : rM a rise. ,Smith Litre von, new position? 'ltrowu Kegiiku': a;:p. Smith What nre you doing? Brown Spi ting rubber bands. lyaU Field's Washington. In Ni cnl ifn IiUoron. fI inn Wedded to nrt.,l'Mud Parley. s "Well, said Critieus, gazing- nt picture, Til get n divorce if 1 wero you. Hho lias deserted you. Brooklyn Life. n t.'my M., t of , - . - Pa-ley- Appropriate Names, An IHscullent 1vunui,. got twins at your Frank I wonder why Cholly Scissy said Mrs. Bczumbe to little c? married tlmt Miss Antioque. Why, limy Saluclson. shes old enough- to be his mother!1 Vos, roam, two of em. May J guess lie wanted a chaporon, nviiat aro'yqu going to call hejn?1 dury, TTiamler and Lightning. j I.ltrri.l. Vdir, those uro strange nances Jo Old Oottleman My lad, in you? J children." ' ' t'i'iell, thats what pa called 'em as father visible?' ' ' ' ja as he hoard they were in the Sou and Heir Well, yer dont spose hin through ft jCiToxaS Siftings, yer have tcy look microscope, do yer? Jury, An Ji.iprtili 11 V trm Yod say that ndre (to prlioner) The I.ega Style, were driven by hunger to commit Though legal u:!:o doe not will you have ija ''' t crime? Just so, your honor, a hungry man is not likely to il a whole calf.'know that;' hut I didnt have my i.Ttknife with' me, 'or id'only liave Texas Siftings. uJ u few pounds. frisoner Lint - ! I'nro s.nulln. ' you want a divorce leenuso your wife won't speak i: u when f he getaaigry? r. (lr.iv, he Yes, thats it. .1 e ( erely) This is positively f. lv..l jus complaint I ever lis-- !t Dont .you krioiy when ypuro .oil? LroJcIyn J.ifo. . , , , , i , A I.ov r of t I'n.liTuteil, tains Col. Jllucgruss shut his n dr:. n!t triy 1" eyes Too stropg cj ;nao. I lie i. you suppose? preund'us No; 1 guess he didn't like look for fear it would make his at it j Judge.' " Mb water. Jllt fulllll'f - Boy lie r par b a ful sorry to sou the lent for yon this r.i O&ice OUt'l. sir. but T was ..irs. Jink: , V. It wai ' l it? an t r.i ; i, V., i Jinks I :.d of i:e linn) preul takes! Is it over town? irnimer , Mr, Oh, no, bir, no onq knows, lloy' joCice j but mo. Jinks Ilent's JIr. it dlir to ro tr Ic baseball 'an .i.. 'i . ,, but .t a worUaoo.ii fijoy yon c a:ii M rs. J.. you ? low. bl'.i.o Boy All rigntj sir, you rii: r.-- rust me. Under Clerk (a few n',rno-- s lotr) Smilces , how ilM , ... . v tier, fas n row in )Uo old nun s lumiiy thi: ay, 0 P Horning? Olliee Hoy et jvay he found at us. th rarit ' ai ppiti' By ' ew$, I!I Hiss ll7t I) 111- win JJchmI !,,. wants a little jmv.ler for her e.,i ilexion) Ik rink (wh "are . u el.V er- -i '.l.int lira ru t s New I'. We are jast out, a'.aa. but if you'ii leave your address J'll get it to you t ! iyj i New lloy (a few hour? ntpf) poes pink live here? , Wr. Nieefelhi Ye., this is the house. I Kew Hoy .Iasi goiu in, aint you? Mr. M.x' folio Yes, pjy boy, f am olng to make a call. j New lloy Well, Im In hurry. lease give Vr this package. Its some j Mng for her baby. N. V Weekly, TIib I'anlilng tvilow. Wool That llngksca seems to he a poshing sort of f jiow since he got Miss Pq aarrieiL Van Iocs j Iclt Iladal ootlcod It. What ho do? Wool Pushes he time, and Jthcr half, -J- tho lawn mower half tho buby carriago fhe ury. Kullted It Uttirtr. . Visitor Tho wind seems to slirtke hat scarecrow over there u little. Ive noticed it quiver two or three time, Mr. Suburb That isnt n scareorow. Thats tho hired r.mn working for Kny hillurs a month and bourd. tiood News, CouiiKtrut Crttlrlsm. You always tell me that my Pfms are too long, so I have brought e ef two lines only. What do yon of it? Kuuir Snme as usual it'a too long. -Munseya Weekly. Ths t'lilcf Mourner, Slio may lmvo a temper, but alio U Did sho ever get over thi oUresting. katli of heir husband? Yea; but her second husband U In Toot osolablc. ' Life. No KascaersUon "U tli IIo cat fl?htecn balefsof hay at one mouthful, hcrer takes no exercise owin to the Pfno of tourin down the hulliUa to w hi but of it. Judge, This," paid tho showman, Argent elephant 1h the world. That lawyer plead a special gear In, At court 't is common for them still To have a lawsuit to appear in. John Ludlow, in Puck. Tho Dog Market. New Boy Shall I mark this dog $20, Do g Fancier N-lies a purty decent lookin sort of a brute. Can't git over $10 for Jiim. Good News. .Ted Ned Judge. Why lie Swore Off Did you go calling in No; 1 came homo ' ' a cab? in one. Feminine T.iumph. No use talkin, I used to say this higher edieation of gals was all folderol; blit J sco 1 was wrong. There's my grahddartcr, for instance, Shes just a wonder. Friend 1 understand slio graduated with high honors. pld Lady Yes, graduated from Vas sar, and she kin do what neither her mother nor pi o could ever hope to do if our lives depended on it Friend Indeed! And what is that? Old Lady Sho kin tell the time a train is goin to start by lookin' at a railway guide. N. Y, Weekly W :iitrl, a lllg Ill'll. Young fjady (food morning, Mr. Surplice. You stated yesterday that you wished some of the racmlxrs of the congregation jvould solicit suhserip tions for a bell. Clergyman Yes, Miss De Goode. It is my ambition to have the largest and finest bell in the city. vYoung Lady I have plenty of leisure, and would like to help. Clergyman Very well, Here is a book. Dont wiisto time applying to families who live within two or three blocks of the church. They jyqn't give pny thing. N. Y. Weekly. A Uow AND OTHER LIVE STOCK. n Ingenious Farmer Get Plenty at 'Water, Duck and FUlt. I will endeavor to tell my readers as briefly as possible how 1 have plenty 6t stock water convenient to my lots, plenty of fish fur my table and plenty of line Pekin ducks for the table, and also for tlu'ir fine feathers. Some five or six years ago, not having water convenient, 1 built a tank, say thiity steps froui my lots uiid a little above them, by building a large dam across a ravine, and' just here 1 will say to prevent leaking plow land the width of the huso of tho darn aero.the ravine or wherever the dam is to La made, thou1 build on top of plowed land. ., My tank is in black land with yellow olay Bubsoil- arid will hold Water from January till the late fall rains. In it wa put a few small perch tihd yellow and ipcekled or blue catfish; they multiplied very rapidly and we now have all the ish isre want for table use both of perch nd cattish, the fbrmcr f think tlie finest t ever saV. For a whilo after the tank was built I was fearful of it being ruined oy crawfish, they being very numerous in it. 1 noticed, however, That the ducks feasted npon tbenp &6 1 went to work to raise more Bucks; procured a tifoof Pekins, and at this time have forty-on- e of them and no crawfish to bo seen. Tho ducks are a Very superior fowl, being entirely free from disease,' and unsurpassed for tjie 'tablb, besides nearly equaling the goose for feathers, of a very fine quality. Bo jkoi nee 1 have plenty of water for stock, fish for the table, and. the white beauties for the table arid also for theft' feathers, besides the jileusure afforded my wife by showing them to tier friends. Now perhaps some one will wart to know how to raise thmqu Our best success Jus been in the' follow1 ing way:"' We hatch them under n chicken hen. Then put in a pen inudp by placing three or four planks a out widp edgewise on a dry spot of ground, with cover at one side to house them in bad weather. Keep them in pen until they are at Jeakt tlie Vant, a month old, with all tho and just enonglTwatbr to drink, os they are injured by having water to dabble In whenjOu'ng. They will then do 'well In the yard with just enough water to drink, but Tnut'h better 1 they huve p pond or plenty of water. Ours spend nearly all their time on the water, coming out to eat two or three times a day. Farm. E. V. Taylor in Southern - MALS0L.M & HUGHES, SLUFF &.SG0TT (t DEALERS BARBERS.:.:: BASEMENT MF.HCIAL C'G.M ' IN Mill IS MAIL SAV t INGS HANK. i , KIIOYOITTY. UTAH . - fi-e- .(j, Old Lady WHEN INGOING tkM V iLm TD FHOYO Have toko:: htv;rpli your tiy tin- He 'line rc.iitulion of turning out the line-- t ti"t" araphie Woik Souili ot'Salt Lake, or even iu ilie Territory, Cull on him. O. 4l. Boots, Shoes, Hats, .Caps. 'Etc., Etc. Main 'till. Street, . SPANISH fORK . 'it Gnkunq lANAGEll. Noitli J Street, - FibDYO - Opening -- OF- Fall t Milinenj AT , Farrs. Mrs. CHI Flic- I DltEN'S UEADWEAU ( " ' iaLty. A ' rp C SPEC- - lower tlnm (he louet.t. Everybody cordially tieoted. Cull ami IXHioipu our Gooiis Before buying ilswliere - i Sjiauisli ork, tL'tnli Jlg That Pay. Mr. .Connor, of Ilopkintou. N. p., peaks u$ follows about liis practice: "My practice of laje years has !een to , , i slaughter two sets of pigs during q year, March' or April pig in December and FUACTlC.VL WATCIIMAKEH. JEJV the the September pig in lay If I am ELKIIand OPTICIAN. koeping ten com i J nrrnnge their tiiqe of calving so us io have about an eijua) How of milk at all wasotis of the year. VVutjjlies, C)ofk8 and Jewelry Hepaired AH work Vsrriiiited. The slack, if any, is in July and AngtisL With that number of cows I will kitten Also drulcr In nil klods of Urn pigs within the year, makiug about 300 pounds of pork. My system of feedIns'.rnjnents, Violin, Guitar n4 Banjo Siyings ing is like this1 The month old pig is fed tb .ee or foiiy days on new milk, then Orders Lrouiplly attended to gradually in the course of another week P. ). Box changed tri skimmed milk. For lhe fipit two .wieks ORe whole ntOVt). . UTAH grain, sweet or western corn, then commence the addition of middlings in slight qrantjties. When the pig is three or four months pld al) a little Indian ineal and shifts, but not to any great cite tit until about six mouths of age. A pig thuf !ed up to this time on feed containing largely the bone and ipusele elements will have a fnne that will stand the strain of heavy feeding during the suclatgt kling Jhree or four months, 700 ponpd$ pf meal per rig. with tig addition of a .dollar or twos worth of midThoroughly Juipo.Hlblo. pensor Excuse me, but I must con? dlings hud short? during the growing PItKCRimONS CAHEFLLLY COM demn your story almost at the outset; period, will make a pig weigh from 300 that last paragraph contains a gross Im- to ii.lO pounds. The ieins and sides, the FOUNDED. lard and pork from such a pig find a possibility. ready snip. St- Lot Is Journal of Author How so? Censor Why, you make your heroine Chicago girl, . Author Yes. A ll.inrily for Trpi CsttU Fever Censor And just now you speak of Live Stock A ) n T)ie Sontliem writer her as "advancing with noiseless tread." man v cassis in tlmt Journal says tliereqre Boston Courier. which the In-- remedy for Texas cattle fever is a pfie hull The feyer itself is Hunting IViia a Ilrut. ON IMPROVE!) Bunting I had n letter from your M deadly as am) souewUat similar to Your mother lias been yellow lever in human beings. He behomo lieves luoeul.itiou will rob it of its teryery ill. dear mammal I rors. however, und that Is the remedy to Mrs. Bunting-Po- or which l.e pins ' faH. in the case of bis she better? O "Calm yourself; You must prepare O 0 cattle for the worst. Ifitiiu ir ntr fru SyMVKf. ConxuiV. Notary Puidic, "0, is she dead? The change from oht to asw corn la IVnf k Elt of "Ono! I said you must prepare for IltitithiiCt , fieding. especially with hogs, shonld ba fjbv: til the worst, ihc is coming to visit us. Vo tommle gradually, piixing old and new ei. S'orf. Jury, gether at fifHt. UTAH Wurth a Ono.l Ural. One of tlu bea t places for a RA1 len lx SPANISH FORK, Ills Mother O, of course, she is all the site if an old poultry yard. Good right, and Ive no doubt you lovo her, farmers sometimes builil temporr ry but you rcnlly shouldn't marry a poor for rattening hogs npoi bara girl. She hasnt u cent, uml in their fields. By the time tb spots lie Indeed! She has liuir of gold, bogs are ready to slaughter the bar of teeth she has her laughter is silvery, spot will have been transformed into an diapearls, ruby Bp.-- , her eyes are oa.-.iof fertility Ib.u monds, her brow Is of Ivory whiteOppoNtc the Ihni Brsn mashes at night, with green food ness, her throut is alabaster, and U. S. UlUNP, Pi op. Boston during the day, nre good for consipa-tlo- n Ho faints with rapture. horses in News, Club The census returns flio.v that th cat Springvitlu, An 1 ay Job, nre becoming smaller in size; u tlo rime-lieuieui What will yon charge me herds so thut range over them. are the will? you nre successful In breaking the There are ss many cattle us ever, but is feo My usual per twenty Lawycr-they are in smaller bunches and the of different owners is greater. number Client But you must remember that of the time Is for the small The tendency tho of ten was drawn up by the will to encroach on Ilia cattle funn or ranch best lawyers of the city. it. and ub.-crange case that in charge my Oh, Lawyer crushed and mixed when Potatoes, will bo only fifteen percent. Judge. with meal, have valuable fattening propOno Trsllmonlnt. AND INSTITUTE OF PENMANSHIP erties for both cuttle and hogs INI MIORTUAUn. Mr. Mercer Ik) you think advertisliooK Cook potatoes for the pigs, but crush session, Mesl end evening Alternoon ing pays? them and give them raw tc the cattle. Mr. Morcur It didn't pay me; I lost Co up. Hall, Provo ntv, Uliih. Cull nd Willll a fowl has aoaly leg dip the leg sei sniiini'0 of n iiitinnsliip niil hsrn money by It. lato kerosaa ind it will get wvll 0. W DIN. Mr. Mercer What did you advertise? iimticulurs. lriiicipsl. Mr. Mereur 1 advertised for a wife ntiil pot her Pink. Z3 CEO. HARTLEY PYDB& MAIBEI? 'BmMiste. PROVO, UTAH MONEY LOANED Farm to-da- Property s PreparecJ to do. n 0 Of Every Description at 15fflJ5,2'J33S5I.fIDILiinf I!3s3TOS3, We are well supplied with Presses, Type, Borders, THE LITTLE etc., and can guarantee satKNUTSFORD isfaction in regard to both Style and price. ... s i.' TO3 TBS li iilLILo |