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Show rwi'wrrd A'HARD YEAR ON OECS.' N. .in J Fatal Disc ago Described - THE ARIZONA . Bue- - Only tbs The Wise Tramp. Please, ma'am, couldn KICKER. . miu-thir- d VV' that Bloat j j j j ,! SSOTT & 0LUFF BARBERS, i other woman? ... ITaJ Mr. Winks Old It not been for her there would have been no Christopher. NT V. Weekly. Slatrluiimliit Item. , , There Is some talk of divorce suits among tho colored aristiwroey of Austin. A few weeks ago IVacon Snodgrass said In ft trembling Video to tho bewitching Mrs. Snowball,' who was boiling soap: "Lubly womant Jess lemma tasto lose lubly lips. I only wants to find out If doy has at much flop as my wife , , Ups." . - . "f ilnt' all ycr wants ter know Jrs ax my husband, lies idler ycr wlfu'amouf. know," replied Siftings. I reckon h oughter Mr. Snowball Texas ' ' KnferprUIng. Pima Museum Visitor (to Bearded! Lady) I aoy, mum, vou'tuTt you like to turn a good penny I y carrying a litt tle aide line? i Bearded Lady Well, what is it? Dimo.Musounf. Vlsiuirp-lt'- s just this: bo os a, big curiosity In 4 you'd just tuustacho and burnsldes. . Shura your Lath-ijskin and take on agency f 1 and In I'm her, ooap. ahavlng hui fix you out good. Puck. F (Milts to Agent Nstii Mtiov. I am Informed, .!, th t ire about bi build a new l.u i.. you 1 should ilk to tk'll you a book on urchk lecturei Air. Suburb Don't wm !A. u ft, t t of Agimt It may I ! ,td.e Fh"1 sort of sir May money, house you Intend to er. f? Mr. S. I have accepted r, plan for ft M.OfO housu. Agent (trluihiihertVl book shows you po 1 Souse for only f l iU'" i - 'V H. b,,1',', N V. -- tills ! i . M (HK eekly. UTAH RROYO CITY. Main Street, WHEN I: going I PROVO TO .... , :I I V0 Applicant I fought wiz Napoleon at St. Helena. Young Man Napoleon didnt fight ai - St. Helena. Aged Applicant Monsieur ees mere I was liccs- - vhlct and ha informed fought me all zo time when I dress him In ze morning. Judge. Aged sr4S83f?oaen I Lpi-ru- l , Thomas DEALER IN the reputation hna tiiinii g out the (hurt Plmto Binitli "I Sa't y.sphil! Vmk Trili'', "r i veil in till- Te.iitery, !' - (.'.ill mi him. 0. A. Conk ling. MANAGER . .'((rih J Sirrct, P.IOVO . Vegetables, Etc. ,m Paid ki Fall dak and fcki , Market Report. Foik '..rrreted weekly by the rfpxmsli ok Co-o- p COc heat . ..$1 20 - Bariev . . Coin hlU-il . , v llrii" ( li'i-k- Jld Ghickehs Dry Apricols . r biii-- (10 " " 110 - - 20c per Km 20e pir d ' r mu 4 00 . Bologna Fresh Every en r, . . Fg-- s i I ll I - 00 Fred -- . m JM-- Qn Day. icn j0 tf d tel. Spanish Fork, Ut ii m . .... ern 2 i'r Dll 30c each 401per it t . . . , Inquirer. Apple try j jt 7c "Wlmt do you mean by , saying that it Dry Prum. . 7c -i is sad so and so should die at the begines Cc Alfslls Seed ning of Ids career?! "Be did die at the' beginning of his . career, didn't he? "Thai s what I want to find out. How much of n career did he have after he 1 fliedr-- N, . Y. Sun. . . , A In Diet. . j , Air Skinny Fretful (to bis fat cook) I can't sec why I'm worn away to 4 mere skeleton, while you must weigh three hundred, r.t least! Tho Cook Oi m sure Ol don't know AND INSTPIUTE OF r ENM VNSHI! WH K Kl KPINfl M kll.JUl HAIitl. sor; Ol always give yez Justus good to .Vi Ain rrooii ni,d iveiiing eat os Oi take mesilf! Jury. !o op. tlsll, Provo eitv, Ltali. OhII ii of penmnestiip nnd learn Nothin; to Do with the Cato. ee G. W. DIX, Jack tells me (hat ho never paitirul il , Alaud loved anyone before.' Priori ul. Ethel Well, excuse mo for telling , you, hut lie and I were onec engaged. Maud Oh, I didn't ask him about enI only asked him about gagements. love. Munscy8 Weekly. Worn and Worse. Wife I found n woman's letter la -O- F-your overcoai pocket this morning. John It cant be. I I J Wife It was tho letter I gavoyou . last Monday to mail on your way to th Store. N. Y. Spirit. n- T, FORK 11 , - , SPANISH William M. taken photograph ymir ,A Oit- Tf 7 pi !tb 4 eti Pi-k- re. PltOrrED . , W . 0 ' A panic. Wo IKIl NAMED A CHAP JUOOADO. . s S 4 didnt really mean to kill Fall ," ilcrfoot from Denver, who is working for us at a salary of 81 per week. We rather like tho style, and it make "phr.t for the printers. fur or iH irr Oat ile chi ran F ; '.Time noon! . V Scene 1. tgh way "Two horsemen!" "Two horses'" :u culi in i FOR- - l to! (he Miiineiy of 'I fi Farrs. Mrs !'-- "One tiger!" ., "One jangle! "A rear! . "A shout! "Report of a pistol! 11 th ET ri :im i.ll Be . i Customer. afei tu! answered Isnacstcin. Spanisli Poik, "Boy are, "Vhy, it vouldut pay me to fail. Mum ey's Weekly. . hen! si l G Th Minnie of It. Customer Wliy did you take youi boy mvpy from school? . Grocer They were Tnlning him. fVliy, they were trying to touch him will DDREN'B nEADWEAP. A SPKfi tlmt sixteen ounces make a pound! JUiTY. r than the lom-io- . ?i c Munsiy'tt Weekly. . 2iv.rtlMi.lv cmdi iHr Hard Time. M ex uni'!" :!r (! t' dl "Are times so very bard? asked the Im f oe i.tr' ing , "Year I 74." "Place Indin. " ki GRAND OPENIN n t . ii t ! ;wt ' , "Whoop!' Ilnrrati!" Sated! "Bang! lU'furv the Tire. Tho above itylo is u I'.Ulc fresh io ,, , this country, but as il only costing u . Side by siilo they nt before tho prent f I a week to Intresui c Si. ue shall give roaring fire, while the wind wuuout It nt loust Uuto weeks trad- .- IVtroit howled and yilletk jrii.UTtt'.AL W A TCI l MAKE if. JEW Free Press. ELF.Rand OMtCIAN. "Imok, Rosalie," hs cried suddenly, and pointing to a bed Y 't"ls , CliM-forward tending and Feive'ry (t p iiled Bam Un of DurtlnrM. emtH-rs- . of red-ho- t "See you not a royal work Wnrrsntvd. t"All Two old frlomH mot on Madison castle raised drawbridgo avenue the other day for the first time down portcullisIt guest? Bee you not awaiting deidi-In ten yeann in all kiinU )!' ' After th" yustomary long ball, and then an empty throno one of of them said , shaking lutuls, etc., where tho qtuen will sit? Tell me, Ina'rue'Uiita, Violin, . G jitar and llmj-- Str.lig to the other; , who will bo tiu queen?" s VWImt ore you doing iiow?" . i s . VConhlut pay," she replied, caredewly. tjtdsr Promptly ntien in !Me? Why, I am a doctor.' Vtlil , "Ah, Rosalie," lie slgiied, "would that . . . ftt yon doing? i were you!" . ho. ii-- x si.i , , I "Ive killed a lot of men myself since queen .The fill drew berelf up proudly end PROVO FfVI! I saw you last. 1 am sheriff of a fronti the fil'd. "Birr she exclaimed tier county out la Colorado." Texas , pclatcd Iflilgflantly, "do yon lake me for a , Siftings. J udge. sol uuauder?' ' AnlonUhlnal ItidiwHui-nt- . B . Lily Who Is tlmt with Mrs. Smith? e A man nt the gave a newsShe norm very fond iff him. cents to go and get him boy twenty-livRose That's her huslsirnk win'll ,tlie lad returned h Lily I low shk And they've )efn a paper, nl married three mouths, Leslie's Illus- was handl'd an extra niebcl, with th remark: trated Newspn;er. "That Is my boy." , A Cut. stammered tho boy oa "Hut but Wife I see, ilenr, tlmt snoring b he lK'kcd from the edn to the man and pia.t liiriK'N? cAiiti'ti.i.Y tmj. caused by a Ivrson always keeping th back ognin. "Well?" mouth open during the nlgld. Pt'lMiM) "U by, sir, ft's only five rent, snl I Husband - Is that so? Then It's a big wonder you don't snore In the day tliuo could have run away w 1th tbo whole -- Light. . quarter! "Detroit Free Press. UB GEO. HARTLEY net T V KzJ L !m rk "k 'xtu r 'ol il.J i "mi h-- j . . ONLY $2.00 PER 'Ul YEAi JBT t'lii ' t'U: lioi pist-otlle- e w voi Py jiE s M aibek! . tmd Etc., Etc. ings bank. . . Boots, Shoes; Hats, Caps , Man-Eater- What SAV- - commercial basement Store Boy Anything more for me to do now, sir? Merchant Lets scd. Tho backbone of winter is broken, and its about time for tho sap to begin running in tho maple trees. Get a damp cloth and wipo tho flyspccks off those cqns of maple sirup. N. Y. Weekly. A Veteran; , Jinks Indeed! ap wouk In Seuaon. , Mrs. Fill ISMAIL Likely-"I- t Waa n't it? I suppose Boston Puck. have given it to '".nerva." Statesman Walk into tho other room and take your place in the line. N. Y. " Weekly. Aftronoinlrut Coavers. "This paper here says that with the Lick telescope over one hundred million different stars can be seen, said Mrs. Vcrisoft, who was feeling quite studioue that evening. "A telescope twice as powerful would Belt that, . I suppose," responded her spouse, ns ho dodged a flying rolling pin. Jewelers Circular. Icto, but tho elevation of par shotgun Was too high, and he fell oveT without a kick. The coroners inquest,, coffin, etc., cost us Sl&Q.i; .but it undertaking, can2 furwo braced tbo altuutlon, and wasn't .such a bad Investment. lie ther assert that tho girl was in it. makes No. 10 in otir private graveyard Binghampton Republican. and the gang has been taught a great Honor to Whom Honor I rne. moral lesson, lny no attention whatever to the ravings of our contemporary. Mrs. Jinks Our woman's rights society Is going to erect n monument to Ilo tried to steal the bond's of a dead Queen Isabella. Wo hold that America mule and half on acre of saml lot to owes Ha discovery to a woman; for hail 6tart a p. g. of his own, but was deit not been for Isabella Columbus would tected and had to publicly apologize.' uot have been furnished with bliips and 6fit New Mas.'Tho story on our sailors. , Mr. Winks America owes, more to fourth pago entitled "Rosina, tho Is from the facile pm of a ten" another woman than to Queen' Isa, DEALERS IN . cessor. R bella. De tho was just like Taris to give Statesman Yes. He died five minutes ago. Citizen I dislike to show any unseemly haste, but I desire to put in my application for appointment as his suc- a IT," ri,h? Smith I bhould say so. ioi httofiCC the silverware they carry Siftings. puwDbroker.-To- xas i- -r u 'tr. lie Embraeetl I'm '.i vUl , "Well, good night, Mi vi A a! to a this other evenin'?, man, young Dwightvillo girl whom ho wan vi.,iting; "I feci It Is better for mo to go.' 1 feel certain that if I stay two minutes longer I shall bo Indn erect enough to Kiss you." "Well, goal night, Mr. replied tho girl; "oh, by tho way," aho added, T want to t,lvwyou my now sachet ling bob to you go. It It svlll only take a couple of minutes. i only neeer.snry to slate that tlio young man In question is tho possessor of n bright intellect, mid ho quickly euv you 'MALGOLM & HUGHES t dead. - I of Wealth. the people , i , Signs oill,ool-A- re r.us . d half-brccd- t you Her race. "This vawteh I bought fvrom you lastvcek ha shtopped ulretty. Now, mein frent, yon guaranteed this vawteh for life years." "Yes, sir; we guaranteed it with But whose ordinary wear anil tear. face is this you have hud photographed ' on tlie dial?" "Fuce? Vy, ilot ish tny yifes." ' "Well, my good man, that would ruifl Light ny watch. In the Midst or Life. Citizen I hear' Mr. Officeholder is '"'b or.e-thii- j Tramp spare me a little Housekeeper Go right away from here or I'll call the dog, you lazy, dirt- yYes, ma'am, thats what I was about from my to remark. I'm travel-staine- d if long journey, and I wanted to ask you couldnt spare me a little soap. "Soap? Soap? Mercy on mel Is the world coming to an end? Walk right in, sir, and stay to dinnere Youre Good News, more than welcome. Cenulns Hustler Can Suoveil,ts the Wild Hut. We reKeepers Elect Officers. N Town ceived a e a 1 1 .'. lias been a hard year on Lees aud yestonlay from tuu Club crop of honey is not more tliun Maj. Jim Porthe average. Tliia wus pract-ter, of Deep ically tlie report from every section al Cut, who owns last weeks session of the Turitoriul Cue tho biggest keepers Conyention. l:,& mule ranch in The conventioin wus called to order ai 10 o, clock on Friday last in Bait Lake , all Arizona, arid who will prob- 15. Spring-villeiof with 0. Huntington, City, Swsnei and C. John the chair, ably be our net f Salt lake city secretary. Air. Iteese ol governor, s r.VS3 'pi,e history of orlds Fair Coni Weber coimty, for the the- - major is mission, reported little progress made, of other and in effect was of the opinion that it would be useless to attempt nny exhibit hustling, enerThe report was received but no action getic men. Falltaken. The scheme to organize a Bee- ing as a lawyer In Chicago ho came was discussed at some west, killed a man at Cheyenne, bought keepers Co-olength, but did not meet with much an old mining claim in Nevada, shot another man in Idaho, ran for sheriff favor . Messrs. Huntington nnd Ilowe of Utah In Colorado, killed n man at Tombstone, county described at some length a new and finally settled down on a ranch at and fatal disease among the bets in theii Deep Cut to enjoy tho fruit of hts labors section. They call it the trembling and taka things easy, llis ease is one disease. The bees had died by thouswhich the youths of our country would ands dropping flown all over the fields do well to emulate. This lift the colonies so weakened when ' Tiret Got Left. Lnst week wo had 'he honey making seaaon arrived that i bo should few words of fatherly advice for tho ft half wlmt wua not it crop crowd down. the river. That they ore have been. Air. Belljif Cache aaid that In the north ft bad gang no one outside their ranks they had brood troubled with foul brood disputes.' ' They are always blowing, There were about. 2000 colonies in tin quarreling anil shooting, and our shert alley, but bee culture there was followul iff says tho gang docs not hesitate to in-very primitive manner. lie didn't take in a slieep or n steer now anil then of s crop. ( without Inquiring who is tho owner. sped more than PictetHry Swanson told of wlmt In We advised them to wash up, shave up t Innl had seen at Lchl and Diaper, and git up and be white, and had someplneea nml keg, soap In ice and dm thing to say about a visit from a vigilgoods boxes w eio uaid for loves almas ance committee in Case they did not ( mend their ways. xclusivcly, and the bees were allowi-n conduct things just shout as the Tuesday night we got word that the iked. He thought this was the roi. gang were coming over to get revenge. hition ot the bee industiy ail over th In company with n few friends we took Territory. The progressive Inn mei up a strategic position outside tho office were in the minority and vefy much m and waited. About midnight nineteen lied ants were repiu'ed ns pIhvIiu of the river crowd rode up, forced tho l.l.o ailiouVg the, I'M- in Holt J.slo front door of the office with a rush, and county. The question wa becoming dashed in to secure our scalp. ( 'minus one. It wasn't there. t W. E. Smith ssid Hint in Dims einni was outside. - - - It ennditioi Hie liees were in fsirly pnrd Wo dropped a chap named Pete but that the urssslmpiers had eaten it; Rlocado, a and tho reall tlm clover and lurerne, - and cm mainder were allowed to ride off la a would he short. Uqnently the Crop In thesfternoon President Ilnntingmi delivered hi annal address, lie nrg" psiticulsrly that an xl il.it of Uni Fair. hooey be made at the World' The election oi officers followed, wit' the following result: President, O. B Huntington of Springvie;viee presiden', Henry Taufer of Halt I.ske; secretary R. T. Reese of Weber county; an I tresiunr A. J. Cell of Lflsrsn. The convention then adjourned t meet in this city Aptil fl. 18011. - ' & 'Li ill , PROVO. i'TAIt '6C 0l ft!. k'.t '!ra |