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Show iollO 'N DSGUISE Lpri,!HM J"h ' A Clear Chm. ' V'ae Jtefr ..fr, lu tha man Car. istanding In the r R.,u a conductor on Boston ii.ueline to awhile on ti.,. other day Jlrip about ten o'clock in ( fL uninl r.bout him? . i,,. k titnclc on himself. r ..'h.'.v it? f.V'nstotake a seat when a watch-ti tcs. 1 have been weeks. "for three or four number of ladies in the car fou-eho Insists on standing, n,w the amount of vacant ndisjWl. From his actions ( believe he did not see it, and t it happens that some kindloses never who flcntleman j Lay to bo of service to his L will poke Mr. Vanity in the i vis cane and direct his atten-H- e ala ays meets a solicits nature with Mo, thank fcr standing, as I intend get- A Lrtiy. p, is a pretty girl in the car he lo gi t as near her as the car sways in iun L jostle possible, taking A against her and go r ,e street-caetiquette of Unit and begging her pardon, iaters a oar that is sparsely j and no ladies are present, he as close to the door as he ler Vu lie the first one to rise The thank 1 does come in. jreives for his disguised as a recognition of r.J attractiveness, and his J.ring the remainder of the .al on this presumption. If by chance happen to Jiould it adds strength to his dtiou and additional height i rlaia of conceit. When 6he J car he follows her with but it site is out of sight, with lit she will turn and give him - corn-irpre- ts if recognition. Is little difference to men of tier how often they are made Wing of their own conceit, shout apparent effect. FOR STOLEN Proverb Led f TIME. Ortaln to an' Innocent Conviction. striking case has Just been tiefore a Vicksburg justice of kys the Arkansas Traveler, J MALS0LM & HUGHES, -g dealers.in; IS 13 USB .a Hr d Cur uu UsdDWMaMo, Herald. What lie Had Lost Old Bullion Ah, my boy, I often long for the good old times. Friend Thats very strange. Yon are rich now, but" in those old days you were an overworked, barefooted plow-bo- y on a farm. What had you then that yon havent now.' Old Bullion (sadly) An appetite. Good News. IHS NEW CUTTEB. Boots, Shoes, Hats, Gaps, ply In Cliicago harbor and a few days ago Collector John M. Clarke received he plans and specifications for the lew craft. It will be labelled Calumet" The new boat will not be built after the plan of the other cutters which ply on Lake Michigan. .It will bo built expressly for harbor work and Etc., Etc, NOW READY !Majn will cost less than as much A Genuine f. as the Andrew Johnson. It is to be Air. Way back The next time I go to fashioned much like a tug. It will One of Brother Stumplands househave the screw of a tug and will have warmings, hell know it. What dye the great power of one. The new boat think the mean cuss did? will be built of steel, 94 feet 6 Inches TUB PRACTICAL Mrs. W ay back Im sure I dont know. long, 20 feet fl inches wide, and 10 feet 3 Mr. Wayback Well, he waited till inches deep. It will have an ample All the guests had assembled, an then hojse on the main deck and a spacious he led the way to the back yard and set cabin. It will have offices; stateroom) ns to choppin wood. N. Y. Weekly. and berths for the accommodation of the revenue inspectors and will have a A Western Egotist In New York. armory. 7 . Chicago Man The girls in this town The Calumet will be detailed to carry seem to be the revenue officers about the harbor to A Handbook of American PoliNew Yorker What makes yon think Inspect incoming vessels, and it is extics, as applied to Utah, reso? . . duced to Plain Language pected she will make herself useful in Because they dont turn around and assisting the g stations id and Easily Under- look at me when' I walk down the their work; stood Explanaone-four- th Hotue-Warmtng- Bathbone sued one Jack- - seet, SPANISH FORK. r--? William M. Thomas, dealer in. POLITICIAN well-equipp- short-sighte- d. . street . That 6hows there is nothing the matter with their eyesight. tions, of nearly 200 pages. A Dilemma. Humph! , I aay," whispered the hotel cierk, Tssas Siftings. Vegetables, Etc, teh Paid ki Fat dalyss and (Shiekens. as he stepped into the landlord's private office, vou own real estate in this Wit end Hnmor. Countryman (looking up from paper) stand for? John, what does John (poring over his lesson in geography Lousiana, dir. Countryman Well, this Louisiana grip seems to be ah epidemic. Harpers Bazar.' . . city? . Yea Well, a man has just asked m4 if this is the best hotel in town." Of course you told him it is." I havent anbivercd him. I didn't know whether to boom the opposition hotel or give tlie town a black eye." V V. Sun. HANDSOMELY FRII2TED Bologna FreSh Every Day. AMD BOUND. Qne door South or . . Stating the Cnee. When look observed I at Tommy, a Didn't Knunr Sh lVn One, . , Mr. Snaggs, as the dinner drew toai I'sid the justice, when the Rasmus. Mrs. Bias Look here, Un.-lI am strongly reminded of a 1 was talkin to Sistah Manthy yistah-daclose, lied, you have brought' an The most useful book, of the kind ever j for time, but you do not certain Latin proverb." and die tolo me that when yon published. Indispensable ns Ready Which? asked Mrs. Snaggs. , , was .dyou give this man Jackson las Sunday, yon up to her house, Reference on all local and genIn Multunx . parvo." Pittsburgh up and said I wasn't nothing but an ole your time andhas he refused eral Political Subjects. Chronicle. , for it? . ha? for raor, this man has had my Uncle, Rasmus Mrs Bias, what The Dear Little Wife. :a refuse Jo pay me.' I will " Yon and I both like the autumn ap- you supiwso I want to call you an old lire on the floor hag, when I neber knowed yod Was just above parently, my dear," Eald he. pme time ago bought a fine Yes. Its quite natural we should. me! Jury. :ie installment plan. The When May weds December there haa The Histories of and Differences , Rolling I I SnereM. the follow came around to to be a compromise, said she. Harmost between the Parties . the suiv contains That carriage installment, and it occurred pers Bazar. eessful poetess of passion in America. M Jackson rould hear the Plainly Told , 4 )H of her verses have been print'd.' "COMING TO A BAD END. i he ought to me help pay "Friends in the publishing business? 'ooked into the matter and, Mo. Uses a typewriter." Demo-est- s he had no clock and I also. &3S, . Magazine. A his hours were regulated. Piece. - Not Hurt. Then I told him vd me for my time and CONTENTS. She ssjrs Bhe hates me ardently, bat he refused to enter-f"-- v But I frlevs not; My soul In full of fl idsomo glee, Preface The National and Local Qov Because I know Pew lope eminent Election of President and tsoi, said the judge,' have Doesn't always tell the truth. The Electoral Col -piece of your own?" Jttdg. A, your honor. lego The Senate and Uduse of Re , A Solicitous Employer. -- V' presentatives The Supreme Court toPractical Politics Generally The 1enwlptr I would like to get off Foundation of the Convention day, sir. I ,' Public ExHead of the Firm Oh, thats all right Parties .The Tariff The I'cnwipcr! you needn't say any. more penditures and Collection I hope your dead grandmother will havt Billion Dollar Congress The ReciBuck. B good time. procity Question Political Legisla-- Life. tion The Force Bill The Silver The 1'nattalnabla. , Mattors at Question-Miscellan- eous misfortune's Sting felt who've Clvlltaatlon. To those The Merch of The Third Party The Great Issue rather Seem must funny: It Mistress Bridget, I see with much Contest of I860 The Partica of the One roally never wants a thing no money. Past Australian Ballot System pleasure that you do not break as many Unless be has . Judge. ' lishes as formerly. The Single Tax Question National ' . Committees snd Platforms of all the ' 1 On the Rialto. Bridget (two months in America) Parties Presidential Elections from Jh! Indade I do, mum, and more, too? Firsi Actor How much do you earn the Beginning, With Vote, Date snd but Oi know enough to kape me muth in your new role? Life. v Cabinet Officers from Politics Second Actor- -t earn about $300 ,hut about it now. Brooklyn the thief of a manager only Washington to Harrison inclusive-prevai- ling but week, Political Terms explained t Eating rieneant Crow. gives mo $25. Texas Siftings. The Lstcal Political- - Situation snd Aunt Julia (who has not seen her 1 must como The Rolling-Poin- t, The First Campaign fiephcw in ten years)-Y- ott History I Honorah? L, Hoollhan . Mr. me, Henry. visit Appendix. and jp is it? tno old of That Iloolilmn Mrs. recollections Ilenry (whose tno tay froom th Mr. IIoolikarit-Gi- r IIhomestead involve early hours and exceed bottim ov th pot Oi want it hot to like Id Puritanism) strict inow. Ingly, hut Im very busy justYour Aunt Judge. 0.YE DOLlAE A COPY. I Mutual. Aunt Julia Im sorry. ladies and I opened a young And so Manager Foycrg leading' Landing-schoo- l a year ago,, and the lady is his wife, eh? hlfl manager, rm opens on this first Why, yesl and shsS it, I shall tots!" I Henry Como to think ofhands Fuck. , along little time on my fied . MWflQTO She (talking confidently to her bosom friend) Mow that we are married John has stopped drinking entirely. I have not detected the odor of liquor about him since our wedding day. Was it difficult for him to j stop? in- ' qulred the bosom friend. O, no; not at alh lie just eats cloves, lie says that is a certain cure. N. Y. 1- Man' CUTTER. " win Protect Chicago's lUrUor. tLncle Sam will supply chi-a.v,Tith new 8teel revenue ,,.r which, according to the Inter Ocean, will he a model for its kind. Congress at its last session aT inrl-te$28,000 to build a steel ci u J whom he Is associated in a knotty case, clircu1" was the quiet response, ii or 1 11 have you arrested for assault and battery. Id be Bure to win the case, when a man of your size would Jump on a little thing like that with a cudgel." Detroit Free Press. . L NEW REVENUE Tvo been cudgeling ray brain for an hour over this thing, said a Detroit attorney tq the older oneyoung with , t . Spanish Fork, Utah, Rnckliill lloiel, . y, . I - a on u ex-l.i- w - . - 3 FOR 3 - . - "-- Cut.. wod. It then? ' MieeloTschhov, New.hoye Veachcr (to Mickey ) Mow, Mickey, , , letson to me first and then ii. wh- -t th. bock you Kind-hearte- horse? kan frsetuns sw ifter th an the cow. INo, the j what hJ has (C berjig-l.-eadontodecow. Kin .t, 'I kiu run. ,r.Iifo Bha arunnln'? horse n ji 'u w Id do horse- .- i . j( fcmarkablfl . - hniltU Ous do ibout him? Gilhooly-W- J'. v . 7cry . . Jay b stepped lu oocostou inJoC(1 ,he lawyers ..rcc suit would l??k, 1, : Shoit stopping, -- Tca Siftings, newr to cou- - j . AT.T,IA. SUN OFFICE. ' died belter. Qcter saw ono I liked Jury next day." the V at , rull of III Sulject. Who'S your friend?' me that Oh! a doctor I know.. Tells on ahiohoL he is busy writing a treatise LIN- "Seems full of Ids subject. ' A laevlc Tmnhllon. t have just trunsluLd an ode." "From whom? "I borrowed fe.-'i- IMr what I owed him." Light , to pay Tau fM ONLY $S;00 PER YEAR; f . er Family. Mrs. JtfcCanly Anyove rulscd quoite a big family, Mrs. Murphy? Stvin Mm. Murphy (with pride) Airst MoCanty.-Juy- lge. -- ? , wonderful- ORDERS flow do you like the little ddg Ijgavf aS t1w ). Oct rnnT teps , jKin .... d B Vlr:rl with It. he cow run? lAVe V Servant I can giveyor of coffee, tin; but it s cold. cup v IIomclotA Wanderer All right; fetch alco It along I curry this hero little k. hoi stove for just such cmcrgcncles.-Fuc. . Judge. ' The t . |