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V And forgetting how happy aha was. Miss Couriwngnt hid her face in & convenient sofa pillow and cried in & hearty unaffected way, much to her own disgust. For the second time in her young life Miss Courtwrlght was genuinely, supremely miserable. She did not see the conscience-stricke- n Billy as he emerged from out of the shadows in the garden. She did not know of the radiance in his face, but suddenly she felt his arms J about her. "Dar little girl," he told her, while : face, he kissed her it never too late to its isnt too late, ' . mend.". , About thirty miputes later Edith lifted her head from Billys white flannel shoulder and looked up anxiously into his eyes. The other girl, the one who had taken my place? she asked, weakly, Doesnt exist, said Billy, promptly. She was only a bluff, and he kissed her on the mouth. The Contented Man Contented? Whit makes him contented? The comforts that sts unities have gained. Which men discontented Invented, The safety that tighteis obtained. Content in the mire would still wallow. With troglodytes huddled in caves. Or flnd in a tree's ready hollow The shelter an animal craves. Depot Literature. -- Provoking Mistake. "Theres one good thing about your The .caller was angry, and even belrailroad," said the tourist to the con- ligerent. ductor on the Mosquito Bay line. I want an explanation and an apolWhats that? was the surprised ogy. sir, he said. In your paper this query. morning you had an account of the Your time tables. They dont al- wedding at the Smithbys last night, ways get the facts quite right, but and you spoke of the jay that atthey are never sensational. tended the happy pair as they went to the altar.' Now, sir, Im the " Not Without Experience. Gracious heaven! gasped the edI wrote it joy! What! Graspit (angrily) More itor. money? . If you keep on youll bankHe Knew Them. rupt me; then, after Im dead, you will be a beggar. "Woman's inhumanity to woman Mrs. Graspit (calmly) Oh, well. be a great deal better off than some poor woman who never had any experience In that line. Id CALLED Yes? Makes man's Inhumanity to man Houston look like sweet charity. Post. HIM DOWN. Content hinders progress and action ' And cultivates ignorant sloth. Counts study a sort of distraction. And pities the follies of both. Content maketh freemen dependent. And fastens the shackles on slaves. Its motion is ever descendent. To ditches and paupers' sad graves. But the reverent, hearty submission To Deitvs footstool men bring, After toiling with little fruition. Is a different, manll-- r thing. W, J. Herbert. Left. When she awoke in the middle of the night a burglar was standing at her dresser. Leave me! she screamed. That was certainly my intention, madam. he answered politely. "The things I am going to take will be sufficiently burdensome without encumbering myself with an old maid in addition. She was left again! Left on the Porch. Mr. Staylate My! it's 10 oclock. However, my train doesnt go till 11:10, and its very pleasant here ?n the porch. Miss Subbubs I'm glad you like it. Mr. Staylate Yes, but er perhaps I'm keeping you up. Miss Subbubs Not at all; Im going to lock up and go to bed now. rose-bordere- 90? ? Why, I am just about to start a magazine. Under what name? The Age of Woman. Do you think it will be a success? Well, it is doubtful. Now, piece of Yes, I believe I did say that you were always Sir, Im a gentleman! There you go again. A Blackmailing Instrument. The street musician paused at the steps. Moosic? No, no. Heres a quarter for Move along. Thanka, signor. org. It is such a you. fine - lying about Might Interrupt Her. said the salesman, heres a dress goods that speaks for itself. Oh, that would never do, replied Henpeck, who was doing some shop Maria always likes ping for his wife. to do most of the talking herself. yourself. stood looking walk toward the white road. She hummed a little tune and tapped her white clad foot in accompaniment. For the first time since her mothers death, three years ago, she had taken y off her plain black dress, and she was all in filmy white in honor of Billys coming. She was thinking of Billy as she stood there, of his fresh, his invigorating boyish enthusiasm, personality and his love for her which never seemed to change, although she had told him every Sunday for weeks that he was not the kind of a man she could marry. And after this dash of cold water, Billy would look very thoughtful for fully thirty minutes. They had known each other for almost five years. Billy had met her abroad when she had been traveling with her mother, and the tender, fragile little mother had been completely won by Billys smile. As for Billy, I never knew what my mother was like, he said to her once, but she must have been Just like Miss Courtwrlght d down the The undertaker. Scribb-lets- When Music Hall Artist Was and Sarah Only Second. Sarah Bernhardt has told In her memoirs, .recently published, about the result of the final examination at the Paris conservatory, says the PittsShe was, she says, burg Dispatch. almost overcome, falling to receive even honorable mention for her performance in tragedy and obtaining only the second prize for her work in comedy. The fast prize went to Marie Lloyd, who afterward became a music hall artiste. Of her chagrin and disappointment on that occasion Mme. Bernhardt to-da- met a girl at last who will take your place in my heart and I am going to love her always and try and make her happy. I wanted to be first to tell you this, we have always been such close friends, I never imagined I could want any one else for my wife. But, you see, its all so useless my expecting you to love me, and I think my tuture wife cares for me more than I am worthy of. She is one of God's best works, a sweet, straightforward girl," and Billy bared his young head reverently. Miss Courtwrlght absent gaze was fixed on the sparkling water, she writes: The tall girl I bad pushed went forward, looking graceful and radiant as she arrived on the stage. There were a few protestations, but her beauty, her distinction and her charm won the day with every one, so that Marie Lloyd was heartily applauded. As she passed near me she kissed me affectionately. We were "treat friends and I lilted her very much, but I always considered her a nullity as a pupil. I do not know whether she had received any prize the year before, but no one expected her to have the prize. I was simply petrified with amazement. Secord prize for comI had not edy, Mdlle. Bernhardt. heard, but I was pushed on the stage, and while I was bowing I could see hundreds of Marie Lloyds dancing about In front of me. Some of them made grimaces at me; others threw kisses; some of them were fanning themselves, others were bowing; they were all very tall, all these Marie Lloyds; they were higher than the ceilings; they walked over peoples heads and they came to me, seizing my me, stifling me and crushing heart. My face, It appears, was whiter than my dress. you. They had been so much to each other, this, mother and daughter, and Alphabetic Confusion. since the mothers death Billy had Is Mr. Scadds a man of sclentifl never missed spending his Sundays In Than Norman Blood. distinction? CourtMrs. the little town where Mrs. Van der Hamm Percy, Yes, indeed, answered Miss Cay wrlght had died and where her daughHe has so many college de- ter lived. He realized how lonely the musn't play with that common enne. loney boy any more. grees that when he sends in his card girl must be, and although sne would Percy Why not, mamma? you cant be sure whether it is his not admit it herself, the Impressive Mrs. Van der H. Because hes no name or a problem in algebra. stillness of the big house was .very body. Why, he hasnt even a grandtrying at times. father. One Exception. y was one of those perfect there days in June and Miss Courtwrlght, as No, declared Mr. Nagget Percy Maybe not, but hes got a never was a woman on earth whc phe stood in the door was glad, in & goat. could refrain from turning around to vague sort of way, to be alive. Most Surprising. rubber at some other womans Dear Billy, she mused tenderly to Ive got something to say to you. clothes. I wonder why he doesn't herself, Miss Knox, began Sapwit, who had No? replied his wife sweetly, marry some sweet dimpled little girl finally summoned up courage to pro- "Didnt you ever hear of Eve? and leave me to enjoy my spinster-hoo- d pose, that aw may surprise you. I But the smile died in peace. Mean Thing. think out of her eyes at the .hougnL It was You do? That certainly does surMy wedding presents were splen- useless to deny that Sunday was the prise me! interrupted the cruel girl. did, the bride was saying, particubrightest day in the week to her, and larly the silver service from the Astor-bilt- the last few Sundays especially had The Sea Jests. Wasnt it good of them? become very delightful memories. but Those ships are polite creatures. Could she ever forget the time they Yes, replied Miss Speitz; remarked Old Ocean to his friend, the then, you know, they always wera had broken the Sanbatn oy fishing in Beach. charitable. the big lake behind the house, her wild Indeed? answered the sandy one. excitement when she had first felt a A Consistent Career. Yes, indeed. They always bow to tug at her line; how tney had worked me. I can remember when the wealthy to land the big fish, and how dirty and Mr. HIdem didnt have a dollar of his wet and happy they both had been! own, said the man who disparages. She had told him that day, as she had Might Be Worth Trying. Well, answered the misanthrope, for many weeks past, that she had no May That hat makes you look and it is said that he is still doing busi- - intention of marrying him quite pretty. ! Irene Yes? Wont you try it on? ness entirely with other peoples dol- - he had responded, as was customary, lars. that he would not mention the subject Stray Stories. again. Finally Miss Courtwrlght opened the ENTIRELY HIDDEN. screen door and moved with a slow grace out on the porch. A tall young man in white flannels was coming up the walk. Why, Billy, youre late, exclaimed But better late his hostess, gayly. To-da- Fine! Its the worst box of discordant whistles I ever heard! . . It is da finest org Pietro ever own. It plays da tune not so much, but it brings da more mon'. Cleveland Plain Dealer. Mean. ,Miss Planeyrox My wedding day is a long way off but I get dreadfully nervous when I think about it. Kutty I dont blame you, Fortunes are made so rapidly In these days, you know. Miss Planeyrox What has that got to do with it? Miss Kutty Why, Jack may get rich suddenly and be in a position to marry the girl hes really in love with. Detroit Tribune. Miss dear. Properly Stated. Oh! life and death are not far apart. You hear of so many people who pass away suddenly. Yes; only the other day I Jokeley 'beard of one poor fellow; buried one day and died the next. You've got that twisted; Mokeley you mean died one day and buried the .next. This man No, I dont. Jokeley was an undertaker. Mokeley the Farm. dont see any mosquito netting in my room, said the young man who had just arrived. Dont need any, replied the old farmer. The mosquitoes are so big down here you can just put on a catchers mask and keep them off. Youll find a mask hanging under the Down on But , (Copyright, 1905, by Daily Story Tub, Co.) Remarkable Longevity. see that Bimler's father died the other day at the age of 96. Yes, a remarkable old man. He never was as happy as when he fancied he was doing somebody. But who could he do when he was Uncertain. What are you doing now, I Chicago News. clock. Looked Like a Scandal. Bacon I saw Babbs out walking with his wifes dressmaker Egbert Are you sure? Positive. What did his wife say? Oh, she said a great deal. I should think she would! Who is his wifes dressmaker? His wife. to-da- Cause for Thankfulness. ought to be very thankful," said the Billville citizen. Why so? Well, only yesterday the sheriffs mule ran away with him and broke his leg just when he was coinin to Atlanta Constitution. levy on me! A Suspicious Agreement. I guess your watch is wrong. What! My watch doesnt vaiy a quarter of a minute. Well, I dont know how much its out of the way, but your time is too blamed near mine to be right. h A6Cu 75 Mr. Eatem Waiter! Where is the pork that goes with the beans? Waiter Behind one ob de beans, sah! Is This Perjury? An Analytical Mind. She Under the new California mar-riag- 3 I see thet th government has certificate law, the young coutons of inseck powbought thirty-eigh- t ple must swear that they are not inder to send to th Panyma canal. What do you spose thats fer, sane. He And yet, no doubt, both of the Amzi? I spose its fer insecks, Sairy." parties are crazy to get married. Before the Ceremony. Physician, Heal Thyself. "Yes, I should think most of his paRural Groom Sue an I cant see no reason why we shouldnt get along tients would be right here in town. So they are, but he has to stay in when we're married. The Magistrate Well, I just marry the White mountains until er after folks and dont express any opinions. the ragweed and goldenrod disappear. 1 t 1 Cah. I know I shall love her dearly. seemed intensely interested in studying its blue depths. After a few minutes she turned her clear gray eyes on Billy and smiled her slow, understanding smile, Im glad, Billy, she said, simply, and I know you will be happy. If there was a note of sadness in her voice Billy did not seem to notice it. "Tell me all about her, she confor I want to know sometinued, of the girl who Is to be your thing wife. Thus encouraged, Billy began an enthusiastic description, and Miss Courtwright listened, still with a far-olook in her eyes. She Is beautiful. he said, vaguely, and dark haired and altogether adorable. "Tall, asked Miss Courtwrlght, whose glorious hair was the color of ripe wheat. No, short and plump and dimpled, replied the enraptured Billy- I hate dimples, quickly decided But Miss Courtwright to herself. aloud, "I know I shall love her dearly." Suddenly he pulled out his watch, and started to his icet. "I must hurIts too bad, ry off, he announced. but I have an important engagement in town and cannot stay to tea. He shook hands hurriedly and went swiftly up the path and was lost to Miss Courtwrlghts watching eyes. About an hour later Miss Courtwright made her way to the house and up the stairs to her room; she went straight to her full length mirror and examined herself with unflinching gray eyes. Did it show in her face, she wondered, all of her that had lived and died within the last ' hour. You fool, she said to the girl in the glass, you utter, utter fool.Slowly' she unfastened the white gown and let it slip to the floor, and from her wardrobe she took a simple black dimity. There was a cynical little smile on her lips. He didnt even ment.on my white I guess that dress, sha murmured. girl wears bright blues and glaring pinks. Oh, how I nate her, I do hate her. How could Billy do it? But it makes no difference to me. And Miss Courtwright powdered her nose, brushed up a few stray tendrils of hair and went down tq partake of her cozy little tea on the porch, telling herself, very emphatically, that she She repeated the was quite happy. apparently obvious asseitlon more than once during the course of her solitary meal. And then all at once while the twilight fell Miss Courtwright found herself sobbing quietly. Billy, she said, brokenly, longing ly, I love you, didnt you know, dear, 1 love you, now that It is too late. ff - I d BERNHARDT AND MARIE LLOYD. I past tear-staine- Ready to Fall In Love. Mercy I should never marry a man I did not love. Maude But suppose a real wealthy man should propose? Mercy I should love him, of course Hummed a little tune, than never. Shall we sit here or down by the lake? go The lake for me. answered Billy. Then earnestly, "I want to talk to you, Edith. I have something to tell you. This was his usual beginning. Miss Courtwright sighed in mock resignation. 1 Again, she queried gently, thought you were never to speak of that subject. Billys face flushed slightly at her I am not going to speak of words. that subject, he said, slowly, as they sat down on the rocks by the water He was watching her "ever again. I have face intently as he spoke. The preachers in the pulpits and the wise men everywhere Who have to ea;n their vlttles and the raiment that they wear Are earnestly declaring, as men have since Adam's fall. That the rich are far from happy and that money isn't all; reaO, their logic Is delightful and their " soning profound But cash is still a rather handy thing to have around. The professors keep explaining that the richest men are those Who possess the deeoest knowledge and are free fiom petty woes; Much we hear of tainted money and the heartaches that it brings To its pitiful possessors, the perturbed financial kings; We are constantly reminded of "the last six feet of ground But cash Is still a rather handy thing to have aiound. He that works from early morning till the shadows fall at night. She that sewa with aching fingers while her cheeks are thin Rnd white. May be heaping future treasures where the saints in glory dwell. But the rich mans auto passes, leaving trails of dust and smell! He is free from toils exactions, and he probably has found That cash is still a rather handy thing to have around. S. E. Kiser In Chicago Record-Heral- French Wit Clyde Fitch was discussing French wit. The wit of France, he said, wont bear transplanting. We shouldnt like It Is too subtle, too unexJt here. pected, too delicate, and, above all, too wicked. I heard yesterday a French witticism that exemplifies well the Gallls delicacy and qualities of subtlety, wickedness. "Two clubmen meet, and the first says: What is the matter, Charles? You look blue. Has your wife caught you that pretty governess of kissing yours? "Charles groaned. Worse than that, he replied. The pretty governess caught me kissing my wife. An Epigram. a discussion of , Oscar Wildes Interesting posthumous work, "De Profundis, an editor said: I had the honor of meeting Wilde in London on the opening night of During bis amusing comedy, The Importance A little group ot of Being Earnest. us got supper at the Carton and during supper the subject of epigrams came up. To Wilde, as the foremost living epigramist, the duty of defining an epigram was assigned. He thought a ' moment, smiled slightly, and then, in his low and pleas- -' ant voice, he said: is a cons monplace An epigram couched so adroitly that only clever people can tell what it means. Unavoidably Detained. You are sentenced to twenty years In states prison. Have you Judge anything to say? Prisoner Yrs, your honor. Will you please send word to my wife not to wait dinner for me?