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Show Lyre By Lisps and Other Mention HARLAN E. BABCOCK SETTIN 'ROUND THE FIREPLACE. When the leaves commence an the air begins to bite; crispy-likat night; When you feel like shoutin Glory! every time you breathe it in; When youre hungry every minute yes, an thirstiern Holding Hands. When its bracin in the daytime, an it's Mr. Roll Kibbey spent Sunday night witn Miss Bessie Walsh, holding hands. Ploomingdale correspondent Hilton (VVis.) Post. In the tattered haze of a vision old I gaze through the years that the mists enfold. At a sacred niche In a great best room Where I once held hands in the friendly gloom. And. I held them tight with a firm caress. Whiie I begged the maiden to say me "Yes. Then I pressed her close to exultant heart. In the silence there, in the niche apart! Oh, the trust and hope of an unscarred youth. As It joys, unstung by thorn or tooth! How we felt the world was aglow with love As we sat alone In the clouds above! Oh. reluctant hands! Oh, those love-warhands! As they tender grew neath affections hands, I can feci them now in my sordid room But beyond is the haze where the shadows loom. For she lies asleep on the wooded hill In that holy ground where the world Is still! . But my heart knows well when the trumcalls. pet When the end Is here and the black shroud falls. There are soft white hands all apulse wlh love. To caress and hold In the land above! . sin 5 Very Exclusive. They do strange things out in Washington sometimes. At Harrington two bachelor chums went visiting, and while absent one of them, renouncing bohemianism and celibacy, was secretly married. The bride and groom reached home first and retired in the bachelor apartments which the two chums had occupied in common.. In the night the remaining bachelor returned and entering prepared, for rest. Hearing his friend peacefully sleeping he decided to get into bed without a light. The results were somewhat exciting, but after the fire brigade had I Maw she gits the nuts an apples baked ones, juicy, big an for mechanical', commercial and professweet sional people; the incorn the an Pops dividual says, My gracious! what a lot of stuff to employer, eat. employs and customer, and consists of extracts Paw goes out an draws the cider, sweet but snappy, in the jug taken by permission from the copyrighted letters, the lectures, notebooks and libraries of Earl M. Im the one that alius pours it everbody gits a mug. Pratt, Oak Park, Illinois. He is hunting the Wimmen folks take theirn plain says its best ithout the bite; whole world over for information of every day Dad an me takes ourn with fixins nothin though to make U3 use to you, and he regrets his inability, personally tight to reply to contributors. So far as possible he Jest a little dash of sauce to make it rip pepper wishes to have in this space the very idea you Red-ho- t poker mal;e3 it sizzle drink er down an kill the grip! would like to find here. You are at liberty to send home-mad- e His collection wat started in 1872 and now contains unpublished information dating back to 1708, with Your short systematic plane extending to 1952. story of some example of forethought given to most valuable him may prove to be your gift to others. him any euggestion you may care to. Oh! Im happy, happy, happy, when the fun is goin on, An Im happiest of all when Maw she says to me, Nowr John, You an Susie play some music, while your paw an mell sing. So I tune up my harmonicy an give em ennything Home, Sweet Home, The Swanee River, Harvest Moon an Nellie Gray Sister fingers the melodon, an you ought to hear us play! Why, its bettern enny circus, so the neighbors all declare Say it makes em feel so skittish like they didnt have a care. ABOUT port I expect up in the city, where the tony folks hang out. That they have some starchy doins an Ive heerd they gad about Like all sixty to them bankwits, jest dressed up fit fer to kill, Fillin up on . vittles wine an such like stuff until They re just sick an got the headache. Aint no fun in that fer me Gimme cider, apples, popcorn, an a heart thats an free; Gimme mother an the music; gimme father. an light the farm .. Its as sweet to me as heaven, an its jest as free from harm. high-price- d XXX XXX IT HAS JUST BEEN DISCOVERED. That Marys lamb had fleas as well as fleece. That the'bpy who stooV on ,!he burning deck'was a pokifer player tand had deGks to burn. That the man who wrote Beautiful Snow always lived in a hot climate, NOT HIS WEDDING, responded and the town marshal had and that where he is now no Icelander would feel at home. That school children in the B class are most apt to have hives. calmed the excited neighborhood, the 'bride and groom continued to be so That Noah and not Edison was the inventor of the ark light. That the Old Maids Association has started a crusade to have the Isle of exclusive the bachelor had to hunt another couch on which to court Mor- Man blotted out of all the geographies. That the Naples authorities have at last succeeded in stopping the eruppheus that night. Now what do you tions of Vesuvius by the use of sulphur and molasses. think of that? That in Missouri they call chewing gum statistics wax figures. 3 5 5 the reason George Washington cut down the cherry tree was to That give Married. his a chance to get a reputation. father Fold summer gowns and place That Eve was the originator of the phrase There aint In scented, cedar chest, to be 5 5 5 A Sorry Plight. Two hilarious companions with unstable equilibrium were standing on a corner in the suburbs, yesterday, much engrossed. One was without a hat. Passing along a neglected, vacant lot, the hatless man had evidently fallen head foremost Into a patch of (prickly, sticky burrs. His companion, steadying himself as ,best he might, was picking the stick- - STINGETH LIKE AN ADDER, era from the hair of the unfortunate who was shaken with conflicting om tions of laughter and pain. Perhaps the Bible had burrs in mind when it warned that strong drink stlngeth like an adder! no core. SOME EASY ERRORS. weird When I saw the word printed where the word three should have been the only thing I could do was to invest it in this kind of a re- . ls This accuracy review department is for cooperation in information on the enemies of easy errors and friends offorethought, to reduce mutually expensive mistakes. It is " done, get out my harmonicy, all ready fer the fun That we have most every evenin round the fireplace where we set Tellin stories an all the cider we can get. An When Adam awoke Just at dusk and saw his third floating rib standing before him in the form of a beauteous female (the very one of his dreams), attired not in choice raiment, but wearing simply a smile and a fig leaf, he did not get fresh and say, Good morning, Carrie! He just bowed very polite-lik- e to the lady and said, Good Eve. And thats how she got her name. The screen door waist and skirt. The hose and all the rest! Hunt madly through the house For furs and heavy wraps. Shake moth-balfrom the folds And find the winter caps! Bring on the thread and cloth. The sewing girl and shears; Get busy with the stuff And spurn your hubbys sneers! The time of year has come When must spend a lot. , For when you you come out new Your clothes must touch the spot! How can I joke and sing Of this, light verses make. When even now my purse Is flattened like a (pan) cake? Four eagles for a hat, Twelve dollars for some braid. Five extra belts at ten How can I stand the raid? Six twenties for the silk, A couple more for shoes No wonder that a man Is cross and gets the blues! So fold the gowns and lace. Put filmy things away. Just spend and sew and rip. And I the bills will pay! There is a great deal to be picked up by tramp ing the roads leaders keep close to nature Then I get so awful happy when the chores has all been ' m 3 5 e . microA man sold me a flfty-cescope for three dollars. When I found out the value of it' I told the story for a New York paagazine and they sent me $2.85. Soon after the microscope experience I found a log in a path which led from a railway station to my home. If the train happened to be late I would use that path in the night, and if the night happened to be dark that log was apt to make me trouble. I asked the owner of the log how much he would take for it. He named the price and I took him up; then I asked a neighbor if he would turn that log into stove wood and put half of the wood in our shed for the other half of the wood for his own shed. He said yes, and did so. When my people found out about the price of the log and the quality of the wood they felt that I needed some Jtind of an education that I had not secured. But when1 that New York magazine sent me 60 per cent more for the written report than I paid for the log, my people began to think that I did know something. The other day I went to a suburban station at 1:30 p. m., and the day was Thursday. I soon found that the 1:35 train which I had come to take ran Saturdays only. This made me feel like framing a sentence for my own use, and I soon saw that the information at the top of a column is as important as the train time in the column. What to do with the hour in hand was the next question, and after making a couple of calls near the station, I made a third call on a gentleman whom I had met several times. - It was with some diffidence that I opened the That the person who reads Longfellows poems is apt to get full of Excelsior. That while honesty is the best policy, some men have the habit of letting their policies lapse. That the Charge of the Light Brigade was inspired by a visit from the gas collector. That Lord Bacon was a high liver. That the King of Yap who recently died and left $1,000,000, was not the subject, but I believe that the forty only rich member of his family. There are numerous wealthy yaps in the minutes spent with him were as useful to me as any forty minutes that I have U. S. senate. ever invested. Recently, while at a hotel in a southwestern town, 1 went to the letter box late in the evening to post some mail. A. Q. Kumber: The best way to remove warts from pickles is to first The box was near the clerks desk in place the pickle in a blacksmiths vise and keep screwing until the pickle the hotel, and on it hung a card. The hook which held the card was a large emits a soft moan. Then take a hammer and a sharp cold piece of hoop iron bent at both ends. chisel and deftly disengage the warts one by one. If the I had read the card before, and shows of yet pickle signs suffering give it ether, but never at the time I was so thoroughly occumanifest any sympathy. Then file the rough edges off, pied with some foreign subject that being careful rot to mar the pickles complexion. After with considerable effort I pulled down the pickle from the vise dip it in a mixture of releasing the shutter and dropped in my maiL glue and horse radish to close the pores. Bathe in warm With that act my mind dropped the rain water scented with bergamot. Wipe dry with a damp foreign subject, and seemed to be dishcloth, sprinkle with paris green to give it a natural ready to rest, and then I the color and serve with whipped cream. cafd on the box, which said, Hand Tootsie Pooch face: To remove freckles first drive mail to the clerk for trains east and a tack in each freckle to hold it in place, then take a sharp, west. paring knife and cut around the edge of each one, after 'n Just how I could get that shutter which remove the tacks quickly and the freckles will come down and the bent hoop iron made it away with the hardware. Carefully putty up the holes that particularly difficult, is something that he surface and coat the entire face with pink porch paint. Is not very clear to me at present, but For rftfadparr days eat nothing that will rust the skin, being especially teachers claim that one can be so careful about swallowing iron filings. At the end of that time the paint will thoroughly occupied with an idea that I the freckles w all be gone and you will not peel off, recognize many things can be done unconsciousyourself. Mrs. Jess Wedd: The reason your sponge cake was a failure was because ly. You may have heard of the man, you should have used flour instead of cornmeal as the while taking a bath, who got to thinkbasis, mixing freely with sorghum and Canary Island ing in an original way and continued sponges, instead of carriage sponges and lard. wiping one of his feet for twenty minlatter utes brand of sponges Is no longer aw fwah. To makeThe until he finished his line of the' cake extra light inflate the sponges with a bicycle thought and came to himself. I heard pump. O Mye Bunyan: The quickest and Gough say that during one of his oracheapest way to tions a he seriously injured his hand 3 to p,ace bare foot on a Cv,m stump, by yurt a railing near the table, clinching the big toe over the far striking edge; then take a sharp but hatchet and by a dextrous, swinging that he did not know of the inmovement separate the corn from its base. If the toe still remains until after he had finished his and the jury corn has disappeared, cover the oration. One of the best business freshly exposed root with men of Chicago left a basket of graphs shoemakers wax, wrap with binding twine soaked in lard on the train and never saw them again oil, and get a pair of crutches. because he left the train in Madge: Sapolio will not your case. The surest of ananimated conversation the midst cure for buckwheat itch Is tohelp with a buy a currycomb and sat friend. When we go to bed we want to nothing but codfish balls. sleep and get rested. When we work we want to concentrate In a way to win The and when we start on a line of origifor automobile is Horrors! Flr?h Think of getting run over by a snelpaadelzoonsderspersptroolrilufr" nal thought we should have special snelp-w- ell, you know the reat time for that kind of brain work. ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS. . re-re- . XXX CHEMISTRY A ANALYSIS. Men can be divided into personal qualities just as a grain of wheat can be divided into elements. There is organic and inorganic chemistry, and we might have a third chemistry dealing with the elements of personality. The only reason for giving these elements of the man himself is to state-thsubjects to be studied.' The fruitful part of research is the finding of useful information on the daily sources of the desirable qualities. In an aggressive effort to grow desirable forces the undesirable are overcome, displaced, crowded out and starved. Few men are perfect, rather no1 man is perfect, few men approach perfection. Are not the strong tempted to be dishonest and the weak tempted to inactivity? Certainly men should learn to work together, to help each other, to look to each other for each others wisdom. The plunger and the should recognize peculiar qualities of each other and unite to make a strong and very successful team. . Inherited tendency, environment and education compound a man just as a chemist would compound a product of the laboratory. Desire and reason enable a man to resist, counteract and conquer enemies within and around him. Have you noticed that some very strong men physically are most particularly tempted to be mental imitators, moral cowards and treacherous friends? Unless they know this, and know how to fight the tendencies, they become victims of them. Very weak men, physically, to seek escape from physical demands, and unless they recognize their enemy some distance away and fight it skillfully it will make them trouble, it will make them slaves. In going among all classes of worjt-- . ers and all degrees of mental altitude, I find some men are unconscious specialists in the management of themselves. They have had the companionship of wise men and absorbed wisdom and thus acquired intuition. Some become wise also by getting down and helping others up. A young man alighted from a train and had just twenty-fivcents in This money he paid the hack-mato carry him to his uncles home. The young mans father was a man. The uncle was a good business man. The young man became a good business man and a very successful lender and collector of money. The young mans mother may him commercial elements of success, but the uncles instruction, year after year, must be recognized as of great value. A banker told me that a certain amount of executive ability could be acquired by instruction and attention. An advertising concern starts with a half million dollar capital and loses it. Another concern starts with three thousand dollars and makes a half million. Why and ' how should be worthy of careful investigations and beginners should respect reports that are unbiased. Some claim that unless there is a. man inside with sufficient independent ability there is nothing outside-oa concern which can lead it to permanent success. Can a man with nearly enough ability acquire a necessary amount? Yes, he can if he is willing to go at it in the right man: t e . n poor-busines- have-give- . f . ner. A man comes to town with four million dollars and loses all of it. Another man starts on four dollars and builds up a successful business. The details of the elements of such cases contain basic truth men should know more about. And to all such these are letters endeavoring to reach. Some days the climbing is slow and the products small, but the latter are beginning to amount to something. What you put down in black and white and add to will help you see more and see it better also. Why not start a blank book for basics for yourself ? Four Hundred and Ninety-Tw- o Days- On June 4, 1902, I went before an organization and announced my accuracy researches. This organization appointed a committee of three that evening. October 10, 1903, I received a favorable report from that committee. But a manager of a store tells me he has waited longer than that for some things and has not got them yet s |