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Show isssstr.. 1&9 A TEMPORARY JOURNAL DEVOTED TO THE INTERESTS OF THE UNTIED ORDER OF WOODEN SHOES. BOOK THE FIRST. . FORTY-FIFTH YEAR OF THE CHURCH, 5TH MONTH, 30TH DAY. CHAPTER 4. " A SOLUTION 0F MANY PROBLEMS. Little Briggy :—It ’s mine! I’m the son of my father, ordained and set apart to fill his wooden shoes and I'll have ’em! G. A. S.:—I’m the proper individual!‘ Haven’t I kept the Church records and ain’t I a cousin of the original prophet who set this Kingdom agoin’ eh? The shoes belong to me. and I’ll let you see who’ll have ’em? _ Daniel:——Here, get coat! While you’re fighting over it these dam Gentiles Will use up the shoes for railroad ties, and the Kingdom will be cursed with their Babylonish civilization! Stop, I say! G. Q. Smoothbore:—~Let them fight it out; whenthey get tired they'll find that I’m the man to run this Kingdom. Hurse d? Hide:—To think that, after the many years that I have waited for this moment, the scores of prophecies I have published in the News to prove my ability to fill those shoes, and the model curses I have showered upon the heads of our enemies, that I’m to be left out in the cold! I’ll apostatise again! We have received a large number of inquiries from the brethren respecting the constitution and by-laws of the united order of Enox. and Why they have never been published. As the nature of the by-laws we ire not fully in- for until Brigham or the Lord sees proper to re- veal it “it’s none of your dam business.” Since the above was in type we hare received notice from Headquarters that the Constitution and By-Laws are about completed, and we will receive them for publication in the next numshape formed at present. as they are not yet in for publication. The Lord, when he gave the ber. They will be very interesting, and we adrevelation,——which, by the way, he said was an vise everybody to look out for them. everlasting one—did not know what he was about, and his servant Brigham has got to set him on the right track by amending the “everlasting” revelation to suit the feelings of the people and the needs of the priesthood. As Boon, however, as Brigham and the Lord complete the arrangement, adjust the division of the spoils to their mutual satisfaction and get the whole thing up in good shape we shall be the first to know it, as the organ of Enox, and it Will be officially published in our columns. Until then, as “the Lord” said unto Joseph, “trouble us no more concerning this matter,” The Co-op. is going to work in the wooden shoe, business in the right way. We noticed several pairs of wooden shoes for children, but ON Tuesday afternoon, Hyram B., of Co-op. proclivities, and another being, equally as senseless and reckless of the lives and limbs of others than themselves, ran a race up the center of Main Street, dashing past everybody who was fortunate enough to be out of their way, at 2:40 speed. As we saw them flying along, a thought came into our heads, and Thought we to ourself, thought we, If you weren‘t Hyram 13., For thus breaking the laws, The police they would cause You soon to hand over a tee. P. S.—Hyram dame out a length ahead in one none for adults in their window. They evident- block. ly act on the principle of “train up a child, ” etc, Geo. A. Smith has lately made a startling discovery which he communicates to the world W14: learn from a. reliable source that the as follows:—“The women's Relief Society are idiosyncrasies of the .Mormon generalissimo publishing a paper!” Are it? We wanter are iconoclastic in their transcendentalism, and know! When did it start? What's its name? we have almost come to the conclusion that it Where’s it published? Bro. George tell us all about it. must be so. |