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Show Waiutcd to be an Editor. JliltliW" ride. A tidy boy, dreased in coarse clrthes, was passing, when the little in" "Have yoa had any girl Raid: asked verdant, a we business?" the 'Come here, boy, and shake hands exp-rien- loan". "Hold on,' please don't be too fast Who discovered America?" "Klurubua! 'l'shaw them ijuustions ii just ta easy as-- " "Who was the first man?" "Adam. Why, Mister, I know . -" "What was his other name?" V; "Ilia other name, why he didn't have none." ;f r 3 ,. , . - J "Tea ho did. You see that'n where we've got you. His other name was Ebcnerer Jibenezr Adam sq ," late of Paradise. ""Nobody knows this, but we editors, and sec to it taut you don't tell anybody." He euid he wonlJn't. "How many bones are there in the human body?" f ' I t but I did "Well, 1 forget now, ' ? ! know wunst." ; , What! Don't you know? Whv, there's 8,482,65 t,U21, 14 A bones iu n ordinary man. A inau that snores has one more bone than other people." ."What bone is that?" "The trou'boue. It- is situated somewhere in the nose. You won't t that, will you?" He said he wouldn't. "How long would it take a mud turtle, to cross the desert of Sahara, with a Siiiall orphan boy to touch him tip with a red hot poker?" "Well, look here mister, if I had a slate and pencil I could figger that out, but do my bkin if I'm much on mental 'rithnietic." .r: V ' ' "Slate and pencil ! Did you ever ice a slate and pencil about a sane turn?, Nousenso. .Well, we'll let that question drop. Have jou a good constitution?" i ' "Putty tol'able.". i "How loug do you (Suppose you could lire on raw corn, aud do the work of a domesticated elephant?" Lord! I don't believe 1 could live more'n a week " "Well, that's about as long as you would want to live if you got an editorial position on this pap9r. You appear to bo pretty well posted, we shall ask you one more question' and if you prove equil to it you can take off your coat and sail in." "Let's have'er, Squire. I didn't " correspond with the Pukinville Screamer six weeks for nothing. LetVf come I'm on deck, I am." "Well, fir, if; two diametrical circles with octasioual peripheric should collide with a centrifugal idiosyncrasy, or. to put it plainer, we will say a disfranchised nonetiity what would Ihe cat's rope exert ou a crystallized codfish suspended by the tail from the homogenous rafters of i the empyreau?" xt full force of this ponderous As problem burst upon hid bewildered brain, he slowly dragged hit inartis-ticallobbled shoe from under the hair, and started from, the room. We beard him descend the stairs, go then out, and close the door.' r oar resumed regret-tiatduties, placidly that so promising a youth should have been weighed 4in the balance Ex. and found wantiag. f " - iti-go- . te y We with me. 1 dot a boy dus' like you, named Joey." The boy laughed, shook hands with her, aud said: "I've got a little girl just likeycu. only she hasn't got auy cluak with pussy fur on it." Here a lady came out of the door, and said: i "Mary, you must not talk with bad boys on the street 1 hope you have not tukeii anything from her? Go riht along, and never stop here ii'raiiti lltat evening, the lady was called dowu to tpeak to a boy in the hull He we.s very neatly dressed, and tood with his cap in his hand. It was the enemy of the morning. f'lcunie to tell you that 1 am not a bad boy." he Baid. "I go to Sunahd day school, help my mother all I can. I never tell lies, nor quarrel, nor say bad words; aud I dou't like a I tdy to call ii;e names, and ask uie if I've stolen her littlu girl's clothes off of her '' "I'm very glad you are so good," said Jhe lady, laughing at the boy's earnestness. "Here's a quarter of a t aa dollar lor you. "I don't want that!" said Hen, holding his head up very high. 'My turner works in a foundry, and has Jots of uioney. You've got u than I, haven't you?" bigger boy "Yes; why?" "Does he know the ten commandments?" "I'm afraid not very well." "Can he say the sermon on the mount, aud the 23d psalm and the golden rule?" "I'm very much afraid he cannot," said the lady, laughing at the boy's bravery. "D esn't ho ride on kis pony on Sunday, instead of iroiug t church?" "I'm afraid ho does; but he ouzht uot," said the lady blushing soma The two didn't belong to each other; and, though this is a pretty good le?s m for both mothers and children, the latter should take it into their heads, that this very good W y was in all things proper to pattern afier. He may hav been a little too smart and saucy. The way ' I T it happened was thiar Little Mary was prettily dressed, and Ntaodiog in front of the house, waiting for her mother U go out U m , , i i ' 1 ...... 1 1 , . IMPROVED AB I NET ORGANS G ail M j i i. , NOTICE. ;at THE l' mmt, 'i 'OI IP! i:'! l I mk-- :i Ogden Junction Office rim i 3 I '- Grand JOB WORK ' -- mw v rv Combination Organs, ' FITTED WITH THE NEWLY INVENTED SCRIBNER'S PATENT QUALIFYING TUBES, An invention having a most important bearing on the future reputation of Red la truraents, by means of whih the Quantity or Volume of tone is very larrely im creased, and quality of tone rendered EQUAL TO THAT OF THE BEST PIPE OKUAXS OF THE NAM. CAPACITY. 18 XXSCXTED . Our celebrated "Vox Celeste," "Louis Patent," "Vox Humana," "Wilcox Patent," "Octave Coupler," the charming "Cello" or "Clarionet" Stops, and IN ALL ITS BRANCHES,! the Late Improvements Can be Obtained Only in thes Organs. Tliirtu-fiv- e Different Styles, A For the Tarlor and the Church, The Beat Material and Workmanship, Quality and Volume of tone Unequalled. 1 little. "Mother don't know I came here," . said the bright little rogue, "but I thought I would just come round, and see what kind of folks you were, nd and I guess mother would rather your boy wouldn t come round Order Books, our doors, because ehe don't like little Susan to talk to bad boys in the street. Good evening." And the boy was gone. Superior Stylo 1 3 C EH, GOto COO Dollar. Years S.T-1860--X Jkf?& wsxw AN IUSTAM Receipt Books, What County Papers Do. An exchange combats with considerable vigor the argument that the city weeklies are cheaper and better than the country papers, because the give more columns of reading for the money. Do the city papers, it asks, ever give you any home Do Never. anything in regard to your own counDo they contain noty? Nothing. tices for your schools, churches, meetings, improvements and hundreds of other local matters of interest, which your county paper publishes without pay? Not an item. Do they ever say & word calculated to draw attention to your county and its numerous thriving towns,' aud aid in their prognss und enterprise? 'Not a word. Aud yet there are mea who take contracted views of this matter that uolos they are getting as many square inches of reading matter ia their own paper as they d in a city paper, they think they are not getting the worth, of their money.; It reminds us of the person who took the largest pair of boots in the box, because they cost the same aa the pair mueh smaller, that fit him. Giving Away nil Around. Post says: "When married was the marriage Belknap announced that 'the bride was notice given away by her distinguished kiusmao, the lion. George II. Pendleton , of Ohio.' Pendleton is a Democratic aspirant for the Presidency. lie gave away Mrs. Belknap; and Mrs. ' 'Belknap gave away Belknap; and Belknap gave away Ileis-te- r Clymer;and Heister Clyraergave away the whole Democratic House. It was the most remarkable give of modern times. Wne first known in Amrrle. Its merits rr well known through, out liNltiialtle worl.l. It lias the oldest ami bent record of any Liniment in the world. From the Bill Heads, THE Letter Heads, millions upon millions or bottle soll no complaint lim ever reached us, and an u ucuUiig und PAIN SUBDUING LINIMENT CELEBRATED TONIC Show Cards, Cards, they ever say Visiting news? A Slot her aud the The Careful " Model Boy. - J i , ca lookiujj youth who applied fur au editorial position the other day. ''Ilave'nt I though!" he replied as he shoved ooe foot under his thair to hide the unskilled patching of a backwoods cobbler, ''I should ay I'd had uouie exp3rieoce have'nt I with the Punkinville (Screamer for eix weeks? llaiu't that eiperience enough? ' , 4; 4That will do very well," we replied, "but wheu we take oucg men un our editorial staff we generally put theui through au examination, low runny are twelve times one?" "Twelve! why auy little boyouht til- ' . IT II AS NO EQUAL. It ii reeornironded with unbounded tsrtr AND APPETIZER, Business Cards, TBFUBELY Ball Tickets, VEGETABLE PREPARATION, R OOTS, composed simply of w HERBS nnl FflUITS, combined with other fropcrtie, which in theb natnre are Cathartic, Aperient, A t Poll-Evi- l, Uoof-ale- , bpaTins, SprlnKhalt. 8addle.(M lar and Harness Ca.ls; also disoake ul the Eya and Ear in Horses, Mules or Caltk 'utr!t"oun. Diuretic, Altenfive and iISTAI lior.s. Tac vhole is preservrd Wi a sufH-eieiuat:ty of spirit from the tit' GAR. AXE to fcecp theai ta any climato, which Anti-T- ! Meal Tickets, nee In all cant of t utx, Bruises, Duma, Spraias, Itbeuuiatism, Hard SwelLmcs, Biteh, Joints, i rosen Feet, lar c.. c. moru all persons, and for Spruinm Founders, Kiugbono, Hcratches WISd-Gal- ls. nt avike tho Hand Bills, Shipping Bills, Blonthly Statements, 1LAITATI I SITTERS 3 one of tho most 4esirabl Tcnlcs nml in tho world. They are intended ttcs trlctlya Temperance i3t Evtnt Variety oj The Detroit . RAILROAD WORK. iUO Cire Nenralpla. Eheronnt'sm, Oont, I.aj!v Back, Suit ltheum, 1 oirauoiiit r.iies. J'xtirnat Uoneaud Muscle Aflectionn. Sore Nipples, sxdinay be j uetly termed the pacaoca for oil .a, EXTERNAL WOUNDS. Sillcis f dI Remember, this T.iniment not onriiiU up i" n rtiiyuro jear.ph dUCitlRTHE MOSTABSUBDAKDrNNATTRAl.CCW only to be used m a medicine, and always ao oorduvt to directions. of the feeble and They are the sheet-anchdebiUUtcd. Tbey act upon a diseased liver, and tlmulaS to such a degree thct a healthy action at once brought ibcL At a remedy to which Women are especially snbject it ia snper-aellevery other stimulant As a Spring nml Summer Tonic they hrve no equal They are mild and gentle Purgative as well as Toole. They purify the blood. They are aylendid Appetizer. They make the weak strong. They purify and invigorate. They cure Dyspepsia, Constipation and Headache. They act as a specific ia all rpeciei cf disorders which undermine the bodily strength and break dowu the animal spirit. 13 ng Depot, 63 WILL Pai Place, Kew Trk. AM JllOTHBOOSI I.As CLAIKIf BY MEXTs..nut we have the eTerience efoW years ot triaf, w th t!i mout eubetautlreeult,ana by a mulWtudo of ...ta. If tho Liniment Is not as rccoiuracndcd. the NXW-DOI- W tlilnv Moiicywilll:cMiiiS(lcL t Do not be imposed rpon by Ti'inc snyotVr-iJninwnreor inen same pmp. clairniui,' le sults. They re a cheat and a J. et and g nothing but Ir-u- Mexra By Sold HTOWtS AT Mdaf Iflssti. st au, Dccooirrs Cottlo. fr r torn". Srru, JJ5c eOc. and CI aoocai Gus xss Couirr. to. jioNMOej5a: |
