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Show W 0 M A N S EX PONENT. LABOR Iff LITERATURE. 163 DIVERSIONS. td which-- a jouraalistlji55rfully al Tin: man question. What .is he worth? low space in his daily local papsr, may be dashed off baby like a gale of Why is a new-bor- n by many ot the small harper3 with their glees," wind ? Because it begins with a squall. as a pleasant ivay of killing an idle hour. But What is that which goes from New York Tennyson was ten years writing "In Memoriam." ifhomas Grey was, in his day, one of the finest to Albany every day and yet never stirs? scholars in Great Britain, and perhaps unsurpassed The turnpike. ." ni in Europ3. Very brief is WiiATisthe-ilifference-betwee- n jewelhis which will owes and his mainly keep celebrity, and a jailer? One slls Watches and the ler memory green and fragrant as long as the English other watches cells. language lasts. It may be read through in five A boy asked a lady who made her minutes, but Grey was seven years in elaborating for teeth. "My Creator," she replied. "Well," it. Upon his death bed Daniel Webster-calle- d , - ; " the-poe- to-which- JhsL ". ., " little sajdjhe this3cnCT.T " you ngster, "Dr made my ma's, and tHeynasaTy of night, transporting his, brave men to the memorable heights of Abraham, broke the solemn silence broughtauitltoreyjer whichervaded theboats,- - by- - repeating .stanzas of a chignorOro the Elegy in a Country Churchyard, " and finished she had left it for repair, her litHcTbdy with the exclamation, "Gentlemen, I would prefer wanted to know "if that chignon was what being the author of that poem, to the glory of beat- is called Perhaps these, words ing the French Maryland girls wont marry in the full of were prompted to the devoted soldier by the involthe moon, believing they would have untary reflection "which Itufus Choate expressed, through life, but a Massachusetts girl when he said, "The only immortality is in a book." full moons stop her ten But Grey's is no solitary case of scrupulousness in wouldn't let forty seconds. literary work. At the town of Ferrara is still A young dandy, who sported an enorreasuredthc ancient scrap of paper upon which Ariosto wrote one of his stanzashedescriptioii mous mustache, asked a lady what she of a tempest in sixteen different ways before be- thought of his looks? "Why," said site coming satisfied with it. That stanza is one of the 'you look as if you had swal lowed a pony, and left the. tail sticking out of your most celebrated among Ariosto's remains. Petrarch surpassed this. One of his verses or mouth." k and stanzas he times; . a collection recently made at a charity At that in they fair, a lady passed the plate to a very wealthy alterations, manuscripts soabound other to are illegible people's eyes. Montesquieu man who was well known for his stinginess. to a remarked once friend, concerning a particular "I have nothing," was his curt reply. "Then part of his writings: "You will read it in a few take something, sir," she answered, "You hours "but I assure you that it has cost me so much know I am begging for the poor." ' labor that it has whitened my hair." Newton, "Do you enjoy going to church now?,, despite his great intellect and huge stores of learnof Mrs. asked a "La, me, ing found within himself patience - to write his "do." lady Mrs. 1YPartington. does me so I Nothing replied "Chronology" sixteen - times over. Gibbon wrote as to get up early on Sunday out his "Autobiography" nine times, and gave much good morning and go to church, and hear a poputwenty years' toil to his "Decline and Fall of the lous minister dispense with the gospel.", Roman Empire," When the late Dr. Buckland was preparing his "Bridge water Treatise upon Ge"I don't like these shoes," said a lady and numerous such made he customer, "because the soles are too thick." ology and Mineralogy," freouent chansres in the composition, that his wife "Is that the only objection?" blandly asked "Yes," was the reply. copied part of Jtibthiin nineteen times and pen- the salesman. shoes, I can ned tour separate copies oi ineTnw"uii, Thenf.dam,J.fj:oujtokjto this on and point assure you that the objection will gradually wa3 a favorite theory witlrGoethe, ErBShaving diair-at-law?- F: rty ck 7Tr 17 Tas-so- 's six-and-fo- te , . -- . the meditative Coleridge agreed with the tint power to conjure up lively sentiments is in no measure lost as men grow in years; inwhareas ability to utter them forcibly is vastly creased by practice. In harmony with this opinion was his course ia regard to Faust, which he took in hand at the age of twenty, and completed in, the full maturity of three score year3 and ten. "Mary Granger ia the Old Curiosity Shop," many-sid-gfGerm- an, Queen Victoria Witty An toamusing but amiable witticism is attributed the Queen, almost good eMuglvto "wHTcIirirrits-Avayj-- is have been uttered by one oi mose iuvu nized humorists who have occasionally adorned thrones: Some one at court had spoken critidisparagingly (of course) of the hostile cisms pronounced by Sir Charles Dilke on the civil list. "It is strange," Queen Victoria is said to have replied, "for I remember having him as a boy. on my knee and1 strokingihis hair. 's aucr- suppose," added Her iuajcsiy, the pause, "I must have stroked: it wrong way - ur-.ment- The Toronto Globe claims that Canada, with a population about equal to New Enganland, has in its domain 8G4,645 children nually, while New England has but 17,501. . -- v-- m could" keep" you down j. a b." half that time. '" ill-lu- re-wro- "How came you to be so very exact, fellow?" said the counsel. "Because I expected some fool or other would ask me," said he, "so I measured it." A Washington paper tells this, good story about Hon. S. S. Cox, the irrepressible Congressman from New York City The other day Cox was unusually active, spurty and irrepressible in tho House. He was continually at the frbn, "catching on the fly," and rampaging round generally. Finally, when the House came to an agreement to proceed with the debate on the salary bill in twenty minute speeches, Cox despatched a page with the following note: rae down for "Dear Mr." Speakers-P- ut BrBrO: i n ulEs7TI" t we nt To which Jhe Speaker replied; wear away." Marquis of Huntley, on his first arrival at court, forgot the usual tribute of obeisance? and was asked why he did not bow? He begged his Majesty's pardon, and excused his want of respect, by saying, he was just come from a place where everybody bowed to him. "A member of our Legislature," says an excur Ohio paper, "who was on a dead-hea- d sion out on the plains, lost his pass, and nad to walk seventy miles before he could find a man who had sufficient confidence in his him money to telegraph home to his wife to IsellThe cooking-'StoYand remit hihl the proceeds at once." A suburban minister applied to a ticket agent on one of fthe railroads for a "clergyman's ticket," and on the official expressing a doubt as to his clerical character, exclaimed, "If you don't believe I'm a clergyman, I'll read you One of my sermons!" The agent gavehinr a Jticket without insisting upon the proof. Smart reply. A humorous A llow being subpoenaed as a witness on a trial for an assault, one of the counsel, who had been nog witnesses, asked torious for him what distance he Was from the parties when the assault happened; he answered, "Just four feet five inches and a half." The first end brow-beatin- PEN AND SCISSORS. no difficulty whero tho principles of action are known to be those of exact justice, andjliffusi vc benevolence. There is In New York ....City, singfe rosebudsTcost cents, and carnations twenty cents. Smilax is sold at one dollar a yard , and violets by the dozen at twelve cents. One spray of lilies of the valley costs twenty-fcents. ive a person to read, If you wanted to teachwork by depriving you would not go to Bo to books. him of all access kind, genmake but as every tle, forbearing you please, woman responsible for the performance of duty, and commence, O men, by doing your twenty-fiv- e own.. .. - The late physician :;. v.: ; : to the Emperor of Russia made a careful study of the effect of light as a curative agent in the hospital of Kf Pptorshii rf. He discovered that the nf nnf ionf .i whrTwero curedTn rooms properly lighted was four times as large as it was when they were confined in dark rooms. , "As a man thinketh, so is he." We see people nearly every day who consider thembadly selves the most unhappy, ill-iate- - d, usedrpcoplei they may be classed among tho most miserable of the human race, for their wretched dispositions alone, make them so. Again, we meet with others who believe that they are almost without exception the most favored of all God's creatures. They realizo the peculiar blessings which He bestows up-o- n them, and often forget that Ho may be doing as great good to their neighbors, though perhaps in some other way. So, no matter what their circumstances iff life may be, they still inhabit dwellings among the most blest of mankind gruliiude and good" nature place them there. men to do Tjiiiucjitbnj3skedLhow are business if they must share their receipts with a wife?' But there is no need that they should share receipts with a wife in that way. They should appropriate a certain5 stated sum to family expenses, which it i3 the wife's business to use to the best advan-tagcXthe comfort and .happiness of the household. Beyond that it is the man's to so business, as it should be his pleasure, imploy his set the resources, increase its wealth, and acexample of a wise and true use of it,wife knowledging always tho right of hisindusto a share in the accumulations of his them first try, and her prudence in devotingand happi to the enlargment of the comfort ness of the family. 7 or . |