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Show OLDER MEN the. reasons toll what today's men look for in By JACK HARRISON POLLACK womenand ; Many older movie husbands have helped skyrocket their young brides to the . peak of film fame. Sophia Loren, Italy's No. 1 film queen, was discovered and boosted to international fame by Italian movie producer Carlo Ponti, her senior, by 20 years. They were married in September, 1957, and have maintained an unusually successful partnership, both professionally and domestically. Though spring-wint- er marriages in, the movie world have been the most publicized, there have been many remarkable examples of such successful unions among outstand- - do so many of these partnerships work out so well? What qualities" do older husbands have which attract young wives and keep them I HM decided her parents. i r - he would visit ing men in the world of music, literature, philosophy the arts, and in the sciences. Pablo Casals, 85, considered the world's greatest cellist, is 61 years older than his third wife, Martita Montonez, a protege he married in 1957. "Happiness is sharing a life with a kindred spirit," says Martita. "That's why I've probably never been conscious of the difference in our ages." Sir Thomas Beecham, 81, is another musical peter Pan. This spir-ite- d white-goateconductor of London's Royal Philharmonic is 53 years the senior of 24-year- -old ed -- Orchestra -- histhirawifetreldrmer'Shirley Hudson, whom he married last year. After striking a harmonious note with her in July, 1959, when he was 80 and she was 27, Sir TP lis "I told them that I wanted to talk about a matter that seemed incongruous, preposterous, and even monstrous," he recalls. "They were so dazed by my oratorical fireworks that they finally let Shirley decide. And that's how we got married." T. S. Eliot, 72, one of the greatest living poets, is 39 years older than his present wife. Eliot's first wife died in 1947. Three years ago, when he was 69, he married his secretary, the former Esme Valerie Fletcher, a pretty, plump woman from Yorkshire, England. a victim of Momism make the mistake of and doesn't comparing evwith his ery girl mother. Still another important asset is the older man's greater capacity for appreciating a woman. Years values-deludin- May-Decem- f - - v. " X W- - and . old Dodgers, Larry McPhail, 71, who has adult children from his first marriage, has had a good marital batting average the past 14 years with his former secretary who has borne him two more jghiHren. Movie producer Otto tremtogerT 54, recently became the father of twins. His third wife, former fash; ion model Hope Bryce, is 26. The interesting question isi wky nature." Recently, a wise". young woman added, "Young men just need- you to make a fuss over them. But older men like to make a fuss over you" Naturally, not every older husband keeps his younger wife. Conductor Leopold Stokowski. 78. aftpr r years ot marriage wound up in a bitter divorce and custody battle with his third wife, heiress Gloria Vanderbilt, 36. playwright Elmer Rice, 68, had three children by his second wife, actress Betty Field, but she left him and later married a younger man. Of course, being married to an older man isn't, all softMights and sweet music. Some young wives " "complain that their older husbands treat them like china dolls, fail to give them enough independence, tire too quickly, are less adaptable,' or always want to stay home. This, however, seems to be a minority "report. "Most young wom- - en who, have chosen older mates seem to feel that marriage is a . man's job, not a boy's and that a man is not really a man until he has been aged a bit. -- . . , . ' 1 I mT v.' C r- - V j v I j v I j ber 32-year-- is the deepest principle in human g -old Countless other marriages are flourishing. Orchestra conductor Andre Kostelanetz, 60, of singer Lily Pons, recently married a gty Writer Alexander King, 62, has had a delightfully happy marriage with his fourth wife, Margie Lou, 25, during the Dast three years. The former owner of the Brooklvn ago psychologist WilliamJames said, "The craving to be appreciated 40-pl- Jksayjnrmg poet more genial and relaxed. ex-husb- BritishphilosopherBertrand Russell is 28 years older than wife Edith. wn 30-year- Groucho'Marx celebrates with his young bride after wedding in 1954. 4 " Thomas ' i happy? The "father image" undoubtedly drives-ina- ny young women into older men's arms. According to Freud, the founder of psychoanaly- - ; sis, every girl's first love is her -- father. If she fails to outgrow this father "fixation," an older man becomes the substitute, particularly when he treats her like a little girl. Psychiatrist Erich Fromm has another explanation: the immaturity of the American male or his late maturing. During the last two decades, psychiatrists, sociologists, and educators have written millions of words on how and why it takes so long for American men to grow up if ever. Philip Wylie blames it all oq "Momism" or those well-knoapron strings with which so many . sons hold onto their mothers long after they've reached manhood. Small wonder a woman novelist once said, "No American man is interesting until he's 40." The us man is usually farjnore sure ofiiis the type of Sir Thomas Beecham, at 80, married a former secretary who was only 27. i what women expect of their men . . T". r-3- :- - v K T r ' ; - v Conductor Andre Kostelanetz, 60, honeymoons with wife Sara, 32. wife he wants. Very likely, he has been married before and, whether divorced or widowed, has profited fr?m his exPenence. Unless he is severely neurotic, he no longer is " 9, Family Weekly, January 15, 1961 9 |