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Show Ifll DAILY Sunday, September 19, 2004 H E 1 A ID D3 HOROSCOPE EUGENIA CELEBRITIES blooping. The trout were and face one of Mankind's oldest, and most feared, enemies: trout. For me, that time came recently in Idaho, where I go every summer. Many1 people think Idaho is nothing but potato farms, but nothing could be farther from the truth: There are also beet farms. No, seriously, Idaho is a beautiful state that offers to "nature out quote Emerson the bazooty." This includes many rivers and streams that , allegedly teem with trout: I say ' "allegedly" because until recently I never saw an actual trout, teeming or otherwise. People were always pointing at the water and saying, "Look! Trout!" But I saw nothing. I wondered if these people were like that creepy little boy in the movie "The Sixth Sense" who had the supernatural ability to see trout. Anyway, on this Idaho trip my friend Ron Ungerman and "Uhgerman" is NOT a funny name, so let's not draw undue attention to it persuaded me to go trout fishing. We purchased fishing licenses and hired a guide named Susanne, who is German but promised us that she would not be too strict. Susanne had me and Ron Uhgerman (Ha ha!) put on rubber waders, which serve two important purposes: (1) they cause your legs to sweat; and (2) they make you look like Nerd Boy from the Planet Dork. Then we hiked through roughly 83 miles of aromatic muck to a spot on the Wood River that literally throbbed with trout. I of course did not see them, but I did see a lot of blooping on the water surface, which Susanne assured us was caused by trout. But there was a problem. To catch trout, you have to engage in "fly casting," a kind of fishing that is very challenging, Dave Barry and here I am using "challenging" in the sense of "idiotic." When I was a boy, I fished with a worm on a hook, and it always worked, and I, will tell you why: Fish are not rocket scientists. They see a worm, and in their tiny brains they think, "Huh! This is something I have never seen before underwater! I had better eat it!" . But with "fry casting," you wade into the river and ata furry tempt to place a "fly" little hook thingy weighing slightly less than a hydrogen atom on top of the water right where the trout are blooping. You do this by waving your fishing rod back and forth, using the following rhythm, as explained to us (I am not making this up) by SuCO-c- a " sanne: "CO-c- a CO-lOn your third CO-lyou point your arm forward, and the "fry," in a perfect imitation of nature, lands on your head. Or sometimes it forms itself into a snarl that cannot be untangled without the aid of a chainsaw AND a flamethrow- ARIES (March SCORPIO (Oct. 19): Pre- 21): v. . StcUS SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-D- . 21): Don't rush ahead With a deal without knowing if it is a legitimate and viable plan. Research is your greatest resource, so be sure to use it. 3 stflrs CAPRICORN 19): (Dec Spend time with family, friends or your partner. The time spent with the people you care about will enhance these relationships. GEMINI (May 21 -- June 20): Your mind may be on your work and what you can do to improve your situation. Don't worry so much. You are versatile, intelligent and your options are far greater than you reaflze. 3 stars 22-Ja- n. 4 sf 3TS AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Fe- 18): You will probably need some serious advice when it comes to your personal life. A move, or change is apparent and will be beneficial to you in the long run. 2 stars CANCER (June 21 July 22): Time spent interacting with others will bring favorable results both personally and professionally. Good ideas will be shared -- PISCES (Feb. 20): . You will attract attention no matter what you do today. and something very creative should develop. 5 stars ate nature will lead to a very close connection with someone you really care about. 5 stars Birthday Baby: You are everyone's best friend. You are easy to get along with, eager to help and always interested in what everyone else is doing. You are smart, determined and very much a team player. LEO (July 22): Problems at home are likely to fester. Either get things out in the open and move on or get out of the line of fire so that you can give yourself more time to think. 2 stars VIRGO (Aug. Take lane. Vis- Don't let this highly creative day go to waste. This is the perfect time to present what you can do. Someone is likely to spot your talent and make a few positive suggestions. 3 20-M- Miami Herald, One Herald Plaza, Miami FL 331 32. 22): 23-0c- t. iting old familiar places will clarify whether you need to make changes in your life or not. You will likely run into someone from your past, 3 stars pare a budget; Chances are good that you will be able to afford what you want, but you will have less stress if you know your limitations and stay within your means. 3 stars TAURUS (Aprfl 20): The more active you are, the less trouble you will encounter. Idle ' time may lead to trouble with the very people you spend the most time with. 3 stars I Dave Barry is a humor columnist for the Miami Herald. Write to him do The (Sept. 22): Plan a day trip and you wont be dis- Check out Eugenia's Web sites at astroadvice.com and ' eugenialast.com. appointed. This is a perfect day for love and romance, so don't waste it by working on things a, TODAY IN HISTORY Today is Sunday, Sept. 19, the 263rd day of 2004. There are 103 days left in the year. At least that's what kept happening to me and my friend Ron Ungerman. (Yes! "Ungerman!") We stood there for hours, waving our rods and going CO-c- a CO-l- a but most of the time we were not getting our flies anywhere near the Business prospects are im-.- .. proving for Christopher Lind- hnist and Arshari firwrihiirv who recently opened their Metronaps lounge on the 24th floor of New York City's Empire State Building and whose clients pay $14 to relieve stress by dozing off for 20 minutes in private, specially made, reclinwith an array of ing chair-pod- s vibrations and sounds to drown out the hubbub of the city. Chowdhury said he stud- ied the science of napping at Carnegie-Mello- n University and found a "tremendous amount of research" showing the rejuvenative value of the short "power nap," which he said improves memory, mood and learning. The Metronaps v chair-pod- s (cost: $8,000) are being separately sold to compa- .tiiea uvciacaa oiiu uiay auiui appear in airport lounges. Revolutionary War, American soldiers won the first Battle of Saratoga. On this date: In 1796, President Washington's farewell address was pub- by Chuck Shepherd Unclear on the concept I According to a police report in the Brainerd (Minn.) Dispatch, in August, thieves had broken into the First Integrity Bank on Excelsior Road in Baxter, Minn., but then used a hammer on a common wall in order to break into the adjacent Lakes Area Eyecare store and made off with numerous pairs of sunglasses. (In most such break-ins- , crooks use the store to get into the bank, not the other way around.) I Federal District Judge Thomas A. HigginS of Nashville, Term., had just ordered David Bowman, 41, back to prison for violating his (cocaine possession and other offenses), and he asked Bowman if he had anything to say. Instead of asking for leniency, Bowman recited the litany of inconveniences that lay ahead (e.g., crowded bus back to prison, various transfers from bus to bus on the way) and then asked, apparently seriously, if Judge Higgins would please personalty drive rum back to prison. (To the prosecutor's suggestion that prison would give Bowman "a chance to think," Judge Higgins said, "I think part of the prob- - " lem is that Mr. Bowman doesn't do as much thinking as maybe (we) would like him to.") . tricity. (c) A local Islamic ex- tremist organization in France, With ties to filed sev- eral lawsuits against the city of Paris for what it called tax harassment," ' (d) Meteorological officials in one Chinese province accused their counterparts in another provinceof "stealing" "their" clouds, in order to seed them for rain. raucous courtroom setting, making their arguments and allowing Mathis to render a decision). According to the lawsuit, Gorden, who came on the program to aggressively sue her own mother, said it was the program staffs fault that she wound up embarrassing herself. Least competent criminals pre-bati- on Two men and a woman, described in a Cape Times (Cape Town, South Africa) story as loan sharks, brought the corpse of Thozamile Patrick Apolis in a wheelchair into an FNB Provincial bank in June in an attempt to withdraw his pension (signing for it by "helping" Apolis move his hand across the paper), but a skeptical customer, who kept demanding that bank officials check for a pulse, scared off the three, who left the body behind. . The obviously inexperienced Bradley S. Shugars, 21, was arrested and charged with robbing a Phillips 66 gas station in Avon, Ind., with his cousin, Karl D. Carnes. Police found Shugars in the getaway car, awaiting Carnes at another gas station, and quickly got a confession from Shugars, who started to cry. According to the arresting officer, Shugars lamented, "Everybody can rob you, but you can't rob nobody." ly Update German filmmaker (Mr.) Rosa von Praunheim told reporters in July that he will finish by December his movie based on notorious convicted ' cannibal Armin Meiwes, who is servirig eight years m ' following his January convic-for the apparently consensual murder and consumption of a man. "Your Heart in My ., Brain (working title) was , funded in part by a govern- - ment film foundation in the German state of North and begins with Meiwes being confronted in prison by his victim's head, which, according to a Reuters report, encourages Meiwes to take pride in What he has done and to move on to more killing. . pit !; Inexplicable I New York City judge Laura Blackburne came under fire from the police in June when she helped Derek Sterling (de- scribed by police as a "convict- -' Arrested and charged with ed drug dealer" but in a rehab murder: David Wayne Mears ' . program) escape out a side. (Ludington, Mich., June); Eddoor of her courtroom so that ward Wayne Bryant (Ard-mor' he could avoid a detective Okk, arrested in Houshim to arrest for a Kenith poised May Wayne . ton, August); Sherrill (Yakima, Wash., July); robbery. She said she was anWallace (AlChadwick gry that the detective didn't clear the arrest with her in ad. ton, 11, August); Timothy alWayne Johnson (Raleigh, N.C., vance. (Blackburne was September). Already serving a ready notorious for recently re( life sentence for murder but leasing a man charged with atto kill a police officer, Alexander tempting charged again: Wayne Watson Jr. (Maryland, ' v ruling that he had not received a speedy trial Convicted of a 1994 murder, but, based on DNA evidence, ' . I Cynthia Gorden filed a law-- : charged in July with murders ; suit in Chicago in May asking a ; . ( judge to prevent the airing of . ; in 1986, 1988 and 1993). At " ready serving a life sentence ; her appearance on a "Judge Mathis" syndicated television for murder but convicted of murdering an inmate: Shannon " show (for which litigants audi-tib- n to appear in person in a ., Wayne Agofsky (Beaumont, name e, , , , '. ; r- Rhine-Westphal- ia t Almost all true . , Three of these four things re- ally happened, just recently. Are you cynical enough to figstory? (a) A British couple who hadn't been able to break their two pack-a-da- y cigarette habit gave it up when their pet parrot a respiratory illness. (b) A leading British museum '. announced an experiment to " cover a substantial portion of its utility expenses by convert , , r ing visitors' excrement from museum rest rooms into eke-- w ure out the made-u- p ed " ' ed by an assassin. In 1934, Bruno Hauptmann was arrested in New York and charged with the kidnap-mur-dof the Lindbergh infant. In 1945, Nazi propagandist William Joyce, known as "Lord " was sentenced to .death by a British court. . ;r ; .: In 1955, President Juan Peron of Argentina was ousted after a revolt by the army and navy. In 1957, the United States conducted its first underground nuclear test, in the Nevada desert. In 1959, Soviet leader Nikita ... Khrushchev reacted angrily j during a visit to Los Angeles : f securitold for that, upon being ' ty reasons, he wouldn't lowed to visit Disneyland. In 1960, Cuban leader Fidel Castro, in New York to visit the United Nations, angrily checked out of the Shelburne Hotel in a dispute with the management. In 1984, Britain and China completed a draft agreement on transferring Hong Kong from British to Chinese rule by 1997. In 1985, the Mexico City area was struck by the first of two devastating quakes that claimed some 6,000 lives. Ten years ago: U.S. troops peacefully entered Haiti to enforce the return of exiled President Aristide. Five years ago: German voters handed Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder's governing Social Democrats a humiliating' defeat r in elections in the eastern state ; of Saxony giving it just r Haw-Haw- People different from us . imitates "Weekend . lished. Iri 1881, the 20th president of the United States, James A. Garfield, died of wounds inflict- Texas, July). at Bernie's" -- Today's Highlight in History: On Sept. 19, 1777, during the er. . The classic middle (all new) sanne, a true professional, was NOT going to let us leave until " we caught a blooping fish. So how can blooping you imagine happy we were when Ron (Ungerman) finally managed to haul in a trout. It was not a large trout. It was the length of a standard Cheeto. But it WAS a trout, dammit, and it meant we could stop. Later, Ron and I agreed that it had been a lot of fun and we would definitely never do it again. So to any trout reading this column, I say: You are safe from us. And to the Idaho Fish and Game Department, I say: You'll never take me alive. ', laughing so hard at us that they considered evolving legs so they could crawl onto land and catch their breath. But Susanne was a good teacher, and very patient, and finally, just when I thought I would never ever catch a trout, it happened: I got a citation for not having my fishing license with me. Realty. I left the license back in the car. The Idaho Fish and Game official who cited me was very polite, and so was I, because he was wearing a sidearm. I considered asking him if I could bor-- . row it to shoot a trout, but there's probably some rule against THAT, too. As the day "CO-c- a wore on, our efforts CO-la- " CO-c- a CO-ltook on an air of desperation, because it was becoming clear that Su LIBRA a walk down memory CO-la.- a, News of the weird Life 2004 that ran he left for tomorrow. 4 BORN ON THIS Kevin Zegers, Alison Sweeney, Jimmy Fallon, Trisha Yearwood Happy Birthday. Get your strategy in place and analyze your situation so you are prepared for any unexpected challenges. If you are organized, you will have nothing to worry about and everything to gain. This can be a terrific year as long as you are ready to reach your goals. Your numbers are 9, 10,17,26,35,44 Trout fishing a blooping good time comes a time when a SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 19, DAY: WARNING SOME MATERIAL NOT SUITABLE FOR SERIOUS PEOPLE There must go into the LAST, ," be-al- -' In a June profile of Britain's Prince Charles, a columnist for The Guardian newspaper describes, as an example of his increasing isolation from the mainstream of under-age-6- 5 British society, his recent encouragement of people to avoid college and accept learning vocational skills and his enthusiastic promotion of the Gerson Therapy, a widely discredited treatment for cancer patients diagnosed as terminally ilL Among the tenets of the Gerson regimen (which costs $15,000 for three weeks): drinking 20 pounds of liquified fruit and vegetables per day . (specialty prepared on a "non- centrifugal" juicer that costs $2,000) and taking dairy coffee ' enemas. Jean-Bertra- : 'ix Readers' Choice.; ; Survival Instinct: In September, Jerry Allen Bradford of Pensacola, Fla., hadinmindto put his seven German shepherd-mix puppies down because he could not find them homes, and had already shot three and was carrying two other dogs, and his revolver, in his arms. According to a sheriffs report, that's when one of the two condemned dogs managed to press his paw on the trigger, firing and hitting Bradford on the wrist. He was treated at a hospital, and the sharpshooter and his three siblings were placed for adoption. er Answer to Almost All True: (c) is not true. ' U-pe- v certWtlvol:; One Former Hum- Associated President Juan Peron was ousted. Rosemary Harris is 74. Actor Adam West is 74. Actor David McCallum is 71. Paul Williams is 64. Singer Bill Medley is 64. Singer Sylvia Tyson (Ian and Sylvia) is 64. Golfer Jane Blalock is 59. Singer David Bromberg is 59. Actor Randolph Mantooth is 59. Singer Freda Payne is 59. Rock n Lol Creme (lOcc) is 57. Actor Jeremy Irons is 56. Actress Twiggy Lawson-i- s 55. T.V. personality Joan Lun-de- n is 54. Daniel Lanois is 53. Actor Scott Colomby is 52. Musician-produce- r Nile Rodgers is 52. Singer-acto- r Rex Smith is 49. Actor Kevin Hooks is 46. Actress Carolyn McCormick is 45. Country singer Jeff Bates is 41. Singer-songwrit- singer-musicia- Smger-produc- Country singer Trisha Wood is 40. WeirdNew8earthlink.net or ynvw.N9W8oftheWeird.com.'' Year-- . Actress-comedia- n Cheri Oteri is 39. News anchor Soledad O'Brien is 38. Rhythm . year ago; f. cane Isabel raced from Virginia; Griffin is 35. Actress Sanaa to Canaa, delivering fair less .; Lathan is 33. Rock singer A. Jay rain than expected but leaving J Popoff (Lit) is 31. Comedian Jimmillions without power. Iraqi ' . my Fallon is 30. Rapper Eamon is 21v Actor Kevin Zegers' is 20. leader Saddam Hussein's defense minister, Sultan Hashim -Thought for Today: "There is ' no surrendered to US. such thing as conversation. Ahmad, It is an illusion. There are inter forces. secting monologues, that is alL" Today's Birthdays: Author Dame Rebecca West, Irish-bor- n Roger Angell is 84. Rhythm and ). novelist ( blues musician Billy Ward is 83. Former Defense Secretary The Associated Press Harold Brown is 77. Actress ' 1892-1983- fecrt the future cf jcur cemmunity. ccrw -- iapls'ssc!l Send Vour Weird News to Chuck Shepherd, P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679 or Press On Sept 19, 1955, Argentinian "4 X" '' 344-272- .; , |