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Show Fii.im TlMlUftjrRarMicit-- 5 Brady Bill may cause liberal euphoria, but it will not decrease crime Editor: The Chronicle staff's desperate plea for letters to the editor has prompted me to respond and publicly announce that I, too. have been engulfed in the euphoria stemming from last month's passage of the Brady Bill, proclaimed by some to herald the End of Crime (End of Crime). While I do not wish to diminish the ecstasy sweeping the nation, I must point out firearm circumscriptions alone, however, cannot solely bring about the EOC; therefore, propose the following additional steps necessary to bring about the I idyllic society we all know is possible through governmental decree. Since it is plain for all to see that any citizen cannot be trusted with a firearm, we may also ee Gladue from page four idly by waiting for it to stop. The legislators try to tell us that more juvenile detention centers will work. Five day waiting periods will stop the senseless killings. Well guess what, they are wrong. Prisons tend to make convicts a little more tense, how. would it be to live behind bars and wonder what beautiful sunsets look like. Oh, but wait, the masses are always right and those who kill must be locked up forever without chance y of rehabilitation. The waiting five-da- safely conclude that all citizens are not to be allowed to possess weapons of any kind. Knives, baseball hats, pencils, automobiles and even teeth must all be classified as weapons in the same way firearms are because, since all of these objects can be used to maim and kill, they obviously have no other legitimate purpose in our loving, beautiful society. Furthermore, cigarettes and alcohol' (beer, wine, liquor, carrot juice, and all other spirits are included here) must not be allowed into the hands of any citizen because these substances can be misused and kill the possessor or innocent others. The potential for crime and tragedy is particularly acute for alcohol since this dangerous substance can be purchased on a whim, period, well I have not recently commonly fraught with emotion, by any adult at almost any convenience or grocery store, not to mention bars and restaurants, without any sort of regulation whatsoever (unlike firearms, no forms must be filled out at all). And. since some who drink get drunk and, without waiting to sober up, drive an automobile and end up killing others andor themselves (recall the Fogleman sisters shown in the Jan. 7 Chronicle), we must assume the only purpose of alcohol and automobiles are to destroy and kill. I therefore make an appeal to the government to stop the killing: now that the Brady Bill has shown us the way, we must impose a waiting period (at least five days) for the purchase of automobiles of any description and all forms of alcohol, as well as the other objects already mentioned. Registration of all purchases must also be required in conjunction with thorough background checks of all applicants who want to buy these evils. Of course, the government knows more about what is good for us than we do, so we will gladly and thankfully let the government make the final decisions as to who is "qualified" and "trustworthy" to buy a car or drink a beer. Just think of all the benefits of making everybody wait WE ARE LOOKING FOR A five days to but a six pack (and what baseball team doesn't know when they are going to be playing, and so cannot plan ahead for their bat purchases?)! When these measures are passed by our benevolent overseers in the Congress and signed into law by our Father Bill Clinton, we can finally justifiably proclaim the EOC and begin our transformation to the beautiful people we all want to be. Finally, to the editors of the Chronicle, why won't you publish and attribute my letters as I sign them, graduate student and Citizen-at-Large- ? Doug Miller graduate student Geophysics FEW GOOD PEOPLE checked the death clock in New York, but I would venture to guess that it still rises steadily. Revolution must take place. A revolutionary thought process must begin and guns must be s banned permanently. I would like to be part of a Generation that solves this solution, x plus y equals infinite ideas and solutions, not x equals absolutely nothing but questions that lead to chaos. I would like to conclude with a birthday wish to Martin Luther King Jr., where are you when this Generation needs your dream. Mark E. Gladue freshman theatre ASUU is looking for a Mayfest Committee Choir, and Committee Members. Vice-Choi- rs Gdff OLWOOiBD 4 asuu m GOT Applications are now available at ASUU 234 Union. Deadline: January 2 1 "We plan to have mow fun before six o'clock in the " morning than most universities have all day. mm Mllvin & nun TRIP TO FRANCE OR SPAIN W Jfft M. During the Second Week of the Quarter, January I O- 4: -l classes without tuition penalty. Instructor approval required to withdraw. A "W" grade will appear on your transcript. You can ADD classes by telephone with an access code. Contact You can WITHDRAW from InstructorDepartment. For additional information, refer to the Class ScheduleStudent Handbook. or anywhere else you've dreamed about! All Travel Books 20 OfllM Off 14 JANUARY 111 -- UTAH CAMPUS cms UNIVERSITY BOOKSTORE UNIVERSITY 'c(Mrar'i 0 OF |
