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Show i LEHI FREE PRESS. LEHI, UTAH OUR COMIC SECTION Feuj Little IN SUIT TOO FAR ScrapaA Ermtsin the ImglMeUm Little John had received a gift of a new suit from his grandmother, who lived In a distant city. Tba child was delighted and In a great hurry to try on the suit To the great disappointment of the mother the suit was found to be a tight fit nd John's arms hung out like the arms of Ichabod Crane. "It's too small, dear," mourned Mrs. J. "Oh, no, mother," responded John, AN EXCEPTION Isiit too email ; Tm Just In It too Throwing back his shoulders and far." Indianapolis News. putting on his bravest smile, Mr. Everybody approached the cashier's Playing Safe desk at the Income-ta- x collector's of"I have known you so long, docfice. tor," said the patient at the end of a "Good morning "I visit "that I do not Intend to insult he said. should like to pay my Income tax." yon by paying your bill. But I have "WelL" said the cashier, "you're arranged a handsome legacy for you the first !" In my wSIL" "That's very kind of you," the doc"Surely not the first to payf exclaimed Mr. Everybody. tor replied. "Allow me to look at the The cashier smiled. prescription again. There Is a slight "No," he replied, "the first to say alteration which I would like to make be d like to." In it" Pearson's Weekly. It MORE PROFITABLE Jones rushed up to his friend In th -Lend me $10 !" be said desperately. "I've come away and left my purse at home In my other trousers pocket" "Here's $10 said his friend. "But. I ray. old man. that was rather carries of you. Suppose your wife searches your pockets and finds the purser As Jones pocketed the money ha aid. with a smile: "She'll be disappointed. There's only 50 cents la It" Stray Stories. street r No Wonder Mean Brute Father Alicia, what was It kept "Where do you suppose I could get about a hundred fleas?" asked the that young Neckmore so late last night, when we all wanted to 6leept grouchy one. Alicia He was trying to explain "I havent any Idea," replied the other one. "But what the deuce di Inflation to me. you want with a hundred fleas?" "I want to put them on that blink-etStory la Ended blank lap dog my wife spends so "IIow are you, Mrs. Browne?" much time hugging and petting," he "Oh, I've nothing to grumble at" "Mr. Browna away then?" growled. CURTAIN! y "You say you have played Hamlet "Yes." "How longr "Well, I've played It as long as an hour and a half once or twice." r MORE SATISFACTION CAH T BE BOUGHT Had One Good Point a HNNEY '7.f OF THE FORCE PARPOM wm tar may 1 1 W1 ask tup PRE-pAcioa- ufs ? ( ? r mm metabolism 3 j s is weveR conducive To A TeD weut.-Reci-uLA- HUH V3 ....... PO oLI NOT COMPfiEHFun r Tu.-ir-- i inwk lAfcJLT J.iHt rRACT5fc5- ZSA OP A ROBBER. REACT IMJURioUSLY XJPoM HIM 1 THE MEANiMS- - OF THIS USlWARIANlfeP INlTRTUSIOM OB MV DOMICILE-- rigit "Oh, mother," she said, as soon as they met "I'm so wretahed. Tre Just discovered that Jack married me for my money." Mother raised her eyebrows Inquiringly. 'There, there, my dear," she replied. aon t worry about that You at least have the comfort of knowing he's not such a fool as he looks." Trapped by Talk ME. MY MA- M- Mrs. Nuwedd was paying her mother No Place for Pride "A man called me handsome yesterday," said a rather elderly woman to her minister. "Do you think It Is sinful for me to feel a little proud of the compliment?" "Not at all, ma'am," replied the min ister. "It's the man who is the sinner, ' not you." . MOW TrtROUS 5 WWUT TH 1 M. THERE ARE A PEW MORS POINTS OFFMCeT Tjst i would UkreTo stress Tq "THIS &ENJTLEMAN IX? Be SEATgDj NOJ f S r that Hit Comeback Wife John, I gave you this letter to mail a month ago and I just found It in your plaid coat pocket I remember I I took off Husband the coat at the time to have you sew a button on It and It isn't sewed on yet! I 1 NOW.' Coincidence Judge Officer, this man says he was not Intoxicated, but was suffering from liZWwr vertigo. Officer Perhaps he was, your honor, but everybody else was suffering from the funny songs he was singing. Union AS TIME FLITS Blooming Puns, What? but suppose MrtlA m HIT? -. n-' Nice HATHERHEADS WAT THIS HOME MEEDS IS PLANTS AMD FLOWERS it Bl?l?UTtkl mo -- J MORE WOULP ti i fts ?5 poN'f? A . ABOUT A rciuMin- "that's what1 YOU THINK HO THANKS.1 Caller Your husband has changed so that I didn't recognize him. Mrs. D It Isn't that I've changed husbands. Traffic Hazard The children had been very attentive when the teacher told them about the animals. "Now," she said, "nam some things that are very dangerous to get near to, and have horns." Little Mary I know, Miss Teacher. Petunia TSSA 2U PMCF? - WHY MO SAY-H-AVE YoM GOT A acTYJUU WHY? ( I VA&U- . TOU ARE A I Rl I W '- U- Hi'" pfOOUClNGCts tJ 1 "Well?" "Motor cars, miss." Preparedness "I want a license to carry arms." "You have been threatened?" "No, I am getting married Irony 'Tm going to leave, mum." "Why. Kllenl Tm very sorry; you're girt." such a "That's Just it mum. I ain't got Three enough to keep me occupied. to or four hours every night I 'ave Pearsleeping. time me fool away hard-workin- g son's Weekly EnglUh Humor sciatica." "Dear, I believe I've got "I can't see what fun you find In getstations." Tlt-Blting those foreign Magazine. (? !!! ( QV (Sold TODAY, SOX SO FIX DRIVE YOU TO Yokel Oh, aye. Angler Then It won't be a crime If I land a fish? Yokel No, It'll be a bloomin' miracle. NOS COPPER. WP Not Much Chance Is this public water is, free for sportsmen T Angler '.Serial i school9 rJw9w. cfe-i-- j- Donodj "Mother, ft Is cold nearly half of my class was not there yesterday." Mothen "Cold weather does Interfere wilh school, Donald, but I'm glad you can get there thanks to our car." Donaldt "But, mother, nearly all the other boys who were absent could come In cars but their folks don't even try to use them In cold weather 'cause they can't get them started." Mother "Maybe, dear, they don't use the right gas and oil that's practically the only difference between our car and many others. Understand, Donald, people are careless they fail to get penetrative oil found only In Germ Processed Motor Oil made by Conoco. Cold oil, even winter grade, unless it is right, makes ft hard for the starter to revolve the motor. Conoco OH helps motors turn over easily end then the Conoco Bronze Gasoline acts at the first spark and the motor starts at once." 00 MOTHER WIU START ,VT v THINK TH! CAB YOU YES OK.? At.S DEAR-- IT ALWAYS DOCS WC USC BRONZE GASOUNC AND GCRM PROCESSED MOTOR Oil,, CONOCO Ui it 4C JIMMY SAYS HIS DAD HAS A TERRIBICTIME EVERY COLD MORNING I THINK lUTElL HIM ABOUT CONOCO GOOD BY DEAR IUCAUFORYOU Donaldt "Mother, I should think the school board would make all parents use Conoco." Mofheri "They couldn't do that, Donald, but It would be a good Idea if the parents themselves would find out why their cars wouldn't start and buy Conoco. imagine they would if they knew it would save them money also." And I at tkejujii c the fifJZiajiaes Full motor protection, etpeciatly Instant Surtint and Lightning Pick In eold motor (taiting.can be found op can best be obtained with Coooco V in Oerm Conooo BransB Procened only Gasoline, and without sacrifice (Par affin Baae) Motor Oil becaan the pea. of Long Mileage, Oreater Power and Anti-Knoetntive oiliaen, called "Tbe Hidden advantages. For cold weather staitina it cannot be Qiart" ataye op in your motor end never dfains away. led. Wbea planning a Hp for business or vacation, write the Conoco Trard Bureau, Denver. Cola, America's largest Free Travel Bureau. |