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Show Pas Gay Mormons sort lives front pas one Church denounces homosexuality as a deviation from God's laws of sexual conduct. Most members who indulge in a practice LDS President Spencer W. Kimball has called "unholy are excommunicated, which means they lose official membership to the church. At the same time, homosexuals contend they have not chosen their sexual preference nor can they change what is a basic part of themselves. The two groups remain further deadlocked because homosexuality is an emotional and uncomfortable subject to discuss among a good number of people. For many heterosexuals, the notion of intimacy between partners of the same sex runs contrary to everything they understand about human sexuality. And many homosexuals remain quiet about their situation because they fear openness will invite job discrimination against them, violence and outright rejection by society. Several LDS Church authorities asked to remain anonymous when quoted in the Chronicle but almost all of the gay Mormons interviewed here agreed to let their names be published. "At this point, I'm just working at not becoming bitter, says John Cooper, a lifelong member of the Mormon Church and past chairman of the Salt Lake chapter of Affirmation, a support group for gay Mormons with headquarters in Los Angeles and chapters in almost every state. Cooper grew up in a small, predominantly LDS Idaho town and confides that he came out of the closet only four years ago when he was in his mid -- 30s. "A lot of people are able to compartmentalize their lives and can live a gay lifestyle while they still go to church, leading a double life of sorts. I was never able to do that. Like all of the gay Mormons interviewed, Cooper suggests his homosexuality was confirmed at a young age and says he aiways felt diffcent from his peers while growing up. Unlike most homosexuals, Cooper has clung to a religion that officially condemns homosexuality at the same time he has sought to understand his own sexual fate. With tears occasionally welling, Cooper describes one year out of eight years he was plagued by deep depression because of his conflict. One year he says he lived on a total of S2,000, spending much of an average day sleeping in his apartment in Salt Lake Gty and working slowly and in almost complete solitude toward a master's degree in chemistry at the University of Utah. "My problem seemed that evil," he says. "And there was no one I could share it with." Cooper says church counselors have been sympathetic toward him, but adds that some leaders would be better off to leave well enough alone. barely-furnish- ed ute Mf oooo0 O Announcing Religion 390N-0- 1 LDS Book Reviews A O O O Q o o o o s o o o S O O q O o o O O o class to be held each Wed. at 12:05 in Institute, Room 6 one-ho- ur January 9 Gil Scharffs. Salt Lake Institute Instructor, will review The God Makers by Ed Decker and Dave Hunt Kent Dunford, Salt Lake Institute Instructor, will review Understanding Paul by Richard L Anderson January January 23 16 Ron Esplin, Associate Professor nf Chi irrh Hkfnrv anrl iinr PMrrh Associate with Joseph Fielding Smith Institute for Church History, will review The Personal Writings of Joseph Smith compiled and edited by Dean G Jessee January 30 Hugh Nibley, Professor of History and Religion at BYU, will review The Temple in Antiquity edited by Truman Madsen February 6 Ken Godfrey, Area Director of Utah North Seminaries and Institutes, will review The Heavens Resound by Milton V. Backman Jr. February 13 Robert Miller, Research Associate, U of U and Ph.D. Candidate, Johns Hopkins, will review Nibley on The Timely and The Timeless edited by Truman Madsen February 20 Keith H. Meserw, Professor of Ancient Scipture at BYU, will review Isaiah and The Prophets edited by Monte S. Nyman February 27 Richard Chidester, Associate Area Director of Salt Lake Valley North Seminaries and Marriage Counselor, will rniA Human Intimao by Victor L Brown Jr. March 6 John W. Welch. Professor of Law at BYU and President of Foundation for Ancient Research and Mormon Studies, will review Book of Mormon Authorship edited by Noel B. Reynolds Register Now O O O O O O O o o o o f 'I've met more men than I can count who have married women at the advice of the church. That direction only leads to broken families, he said. A common complaint among gay Mormons is that moralists do not understand enough about homosexuality to judge it fairly. Despite a deluge of scientific material that speculates on the causes of homosexuality which include both environmental and biological explanations the church holds firmly to its stance that the practice is a learned behavior and can, therefore, be "unlearned." One high level official in the church who speaks for many Mormons told the Chronicle he has never met any gay men or lesbian women that he knows of in his lifetime. Duane Dawson, a nursing student at the U. of U. who attended Brigham Young University after joining the Mormon Church five years ago, says the church would lose some of its most creative members if it purged all gays from membership lists. "I know this guy who appears in one of the church's films on morality. He's gay and he's a vibrant human being. Because (church members) don't know he's gay, they think he's a great person. But if they did know about him, they would think he's trash.' Dawson says he honestly believes the LDS Church does not understand homosexuality but he is quick to add that a local church leader who determines whether or not a homosexual member will be excommunicated also faces a dilemma. "I understand the church has to have standards to live by but we all have to live with ourselves too," Dawson said. Everyone will ultimately answer to his or her Maker, on Judgment Day, the Pennsylvania native says. An anonymous author writing in a 1976 issue of Dialogue, A Journal of Mormon Thought, touches on another obstacle gay Mormons face: the strong pressure to date and marry. In a lifetime of activity in the church, the author says he 27-year-- old has never heard a single word of compassion or understanding for homosexuals spoken from the pulpit. "We are more than a family oriented church. Our auxiliaries and priesthood quorums presuppose marriage. A single person, much less a homosexual, simply does not fit in. "Still, I have a strong testimony of the gospel," he continues. "I can only hope that He who welcomed to His side sinners, publicans and harlots will grant the same grace to me and that His church will also." Affirmation, a support group for gay and lesbian Mormons, states that one of its objectives is to work for the understanding and acceptance from the LDS Church and to help gay Mormons affirm their own The group has as many skeptics as proponents. As one excommunicated gay Mormon put it: "I'm not sure I see their point. I can't help but feel like they're wasting their self-wort- h. U. engineers start course off-camp- us The University of Utah College of Engineering has started a special program allowing off-camp- us Defense employees at Sperry Corporation's master's Communications Division to pursue a degree before and after work. About 60 Sperry workers have enrolled in the new continuing education program, under Dean Joseph D. Andrade's diverse effort to strengthen the college's relationship with local and national industry. Sperry official's and the college's newly created Office of Industrial Relations organized the course leading to a master's of engineering degree in electrical engineering. Mark Yenchik, college liaison project administrate c at Sperry, says classes are being taught winter quarter at Sperry's North Salt Lake plant by university electrical engineering professors. Morning classes meet from 6:30 un. to 7:30 a.m. and afternoon classes from 4:30 pjn. to 5:30 p.m. "Sperry employees wanted a means to complete their master's degree without adversely affecting job performance, and the College of Engineering agreed to design a program," Yenchik said. Employees will take two courses per quarter from a is on predetermined series. One set of courses the other on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, and Tuesdays and Thursdays. The program is open to any employee at the Sperry division who has a bachelor's degree. Graham Bell, newly-electe- d vice president of the Lesbian and Gay Student Union at the U. of U., says living in Utah and being gay is like living in Berlin in 1939. Gays are rejected in this community in subtle as well as oven ways. People raise their eyebrows when they know a gay person is around and there are laws on the books that still prohibit two men from kissing on a street, he says. Dawson observes that many of his friends overreact because of rejection from the Mormon Church. Many try to get rid of all the remnants of their association with the church as they face up to homosexual tendencies. Some are drawn to begin smoking, drinking and living by promiscuous sexual standards once ties with the conservative LDS faith have been severed. One of the sharpest criticisms targeted against the Mormon Church and others like it is that an inflexible stand on sexual matters creates such a profound guilt in time." 4 some people that suicide is sometimes the result. II 11 case in Boise, Idaho, a former Salt In a a $28 million lawsuit against the Lake filed resident Gty On sale this week only LDS Church in connection with the 1982 suicide of his at Gardner Hall 204 9 a.m.-- 4 p.m. Jj son, who, according to the father, was damaged by warnings that masturbation would lead to guilt, depression and homosexuality. "There is a model Mormon person that the church wants everyone to match," says Micheal Aaron, past president of LGSU. "Mormons say they believe in free agency, but they don't practice it. How many punk rockers do you know who are good Mormons? But then, you don't usually kill yourself for being punk." With perverse slogans like, "Kill a queer for Jesus," still circulating in some communities, gays everywhere are i somewhat skeptical about religion. Save $25 "But nowhere else is the remedy as tough for gays than 50 for 5 in the Mormon Church," Aaron says. 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