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(SnnJutrss or Eflmrunj 101nrh ball Qood Jokes it Sr? DON'T YOU MIND. By WILLIAM H. ALLEN, Gen. Agent N. Y. Asjociit ion for Improving Condition of Hoor, ind Auttw of "fclficient Democracy." etc. j inmore umicim tliari to be rooi. average be of ealU what favor food 'X government dot a ll.ct lldiri. arc, iiti m Ti'l "i u Hi. flfl efli- I ..' u as far beyond the reach of mere goodness as is business efficiency beyond the reach of mere good intention. To test the goodnetts of a citizen, trustee or public otlieial require! more than human judgment. Efficiency can and should be tested by those who benefit when it is present and suffer when it is lacking. Kfficieney fosters goodness as time clock and cash register foster habits of punctuality and honesty. The goodness that has lasting value to one' follow man will le greatly increased and more widely distributed if efficiency tests are applied better to all persons and all agencies that are trying to make IU be iilii lent - itizeti honestly i 1. i -- - in . 1; -- than to-da- y. A Trniilil don't you mind it, akd don't you mind the care. I'usli Vm all behind you. and dream of fair. The sorrows, that. ltk shadows, coma 'c ross the way falling Will fade before the aunbeajns and blossoming of May. limit you mind the thundc-r- , and skies that threaten low. Don't you mind the wind sighs that keep o; I'or every sigh are dear, there'll come a lining tune For every bit of trouble there 'll ome the smites of June! you mind the grieving grief must play its part; Tears n.usi blind the sight, dear, ere Joy creeps In the heart. Don't you mind the thistles that wound tile weary feet We must km.u the bitter that we may know the sweet! - Milwaukee Sentinel. Don't Madge Young Sickuppe has his good points, you must admit. Ada M'yes, his moustache sticks out all right. a life and the lack of it is death. Lack sociability, which really moans felThought Omar Alive. lowship or the touch of "Yes, indeed," said the pretty colnature that makes the lege girl, "our literary club held a .night and 1 tell you we whole world kin, leads meeting last wild went over Omar Khayyan." just to exclnsivenesj, and we "Gracious!" exclaimed the rural is of' iHultiply ty (gnu of nriabUttiT By PROF. CHARLES ZUEBLIN, University of Ctiicutfo. all know that exelusive-ncs- s means degeneracy, docai and death for the j pe and ultimately f 31 (ho race. The testimony of the rich is conclusive on this point. They become exclusive because of their wealth, and we have the testimony of the greatest of the world's millionaires that material wealth alone is not satisfying. Extreme wealth and extreme poverty are the greatest evils in the world unless death is to be classed as greater than either. Nature, being itself the mother of bounty, abhors greet wealth and great poverty. And it should be the first care of society otherwise the state to aid nature in abolishing the vacuum of great wealth, as well as the vacuum of great I aunt in horrified indignation. "It is just a sfn and a shame the way gals these days are falling in love with furriners." Chicago Daily News. tlLu! Somewhat Stingy. "What a stingy .fellow old Groucher-l- Is." "Stingy? That's harKy a name for his complaint. Why, if he owned a flower store he would worry' himself to death because the people- who passed might get whiffs of fragrance without paying him for them." Chicago Herald. poverty. SUSPENSE. OF CATCHERS is satisfied. We could breed a vastly better human race if there were public institution- to make easier the social meetings of young persons of the two sexes, with the inevitable consequence matrimony. Our blind exclusive-nes- s militates against the sociological idea of investing Cupid with robes of State. Extension of the state institutional idea to the domain of marriage promotion would be one of the greatest reforms known to mankind, nd its realisation appears to be an inevitable outcome of social evolution. A slate institution of this kind would aid in restoring nature's equilibrium by bringing together the exireiuely rich and the extremely poor, r at least giving them an opportunity for sociability. Xo human trait in the world exceeds in excellence and pleasurable possibilities the trait or gift of sociability. If, like Santa Clans, sociability could be infinitely multiplied as a godlike personality, then pushed through chimneys into countless million! ii homes and compelled to remain a guest in each family for months at a time, the world and the human race would be made infinitely better. reasonably Slip TIME TO GO. mom iV Slalk tions. 1 I For example, there is for the young of creatures living tho, in- no word here is no single word for definite inuana, child, is used for all alike. mother-in-laThe native brother, sister or only three distinct colors red, white and black; there is nothing for green or yellow or Tall Bard Here is an article says overeating prevents poets writing good poetry. Short Bard Great Homer! ever beard of a poet suffering overrating? Chicago News. rem-niz- es that from Who from Room for Doubt. read a moat renin, kable other the saffron-pink- . say in an Arizona pastory or mauve, the Tombsteno Epitaph, The verb dila is made to do service for Cry, bawl, bleat, squeal, sing, per,Jinks Huh! Who ever board of tn rar, preach, croak, argue, bra, lecture or tick (as a watch). There arc epitaph telling the truth- ?- N. y. Weekly. no pronouns indicating MX. There is no satisfactory word for hue. The same word which the Accuracy of Statement. native uses for God'l love he must also use to express bj liking for salt, "What U that fellow's occupation? He says he worka about the public ofor his preference for a certain kind of blanket. fices?" i out a ries word for to some in Sometimes mio fairly agony replace "Ho he does: works about every, f the strong English terms like ought, duly, must, obligation, graft, etc. body ift thetu America . .BMnlti I aaaaajaaaaaaaa SVESTIiv! DAYS OLDEN Receivers and Also Pitchers, Infield-er- s ar.d Even Men in the Outfield Fa- - Superior to Those of Present Time, According to Murnane Veterans Whose Records Have Never Been Equaled. Has baseball reached its limits as u I am inclined to scientific game? think it has. although I would not be surprised to learn of some pitcher discovering a new curve in the near fu ture, writes Tim Murnane, the Boston critic. Men threw as strong and accurately 30 years ago as they do at the present time. Men ran the bases as well 20 years ago as they do now. and the catchers threw just as well to second. Nat Hicks, who died recently at his old home in Hoboken. was a grand throwing catcher for the New Bronson I never tell my boy that York Mutuals in the early seventies. I won't take him to the circus if he No man of the present day had anyisn't good. thing on this perfect athlete when it Woodson Why not? came to dancing the ball down to secBronson I don't care to take any ond. Where can you find any catchchances. I'm tired of worrying for ers of the present time who could fear he'll do something that'll keep Buck Ewing, Mike Keller. the whole family home. Charlie Bennett. Charley Snyder, Emil Gross, Old Hoss Flint, John Clapp, In Darkest Africa. Mike McGeary, Doug Allison or "Your highness," announced the Charley Ganzel? I have yet to see a shortstop who royal adviser, "the white explorer begs the permission to penetrate your kingwould outthrow George Wright in his dom. He says he will cure much sickprime over 30 years ago. I played ness by distributing cough medicine with him one whole season without on his way. noting one poor throw, and he would "Very likely,' replied King Gumbo, throw from any position in which he with a broad grin. "All the white got the ball, unless he had oceans of men try to make us poor savages time. No third baseman has ever 'cough up.' Back to the elephant displayed more form than Ezra Sutgrove with him!" ton in throwing from third. Andrew-LeonarAnd then the king ordered the could outthrow any outfieldsounding of the war drum. er the game has produced for long range accuracy as well as speed. Jake Not to Be Caught Again. Evans has never been approached as "Good!" exclaimed a Welsh hotel a remarkable thrower from right field proprietor, as a departing guest pre- to first and home. Taking the ball on pared to photograph the establish- the dead run he would cut it over to ment, "I rejoice to see that you take first, forcing the fastest runners to with you one little memento of your their top speed to avoid an out. John visit; it shows you have been happy Hatfield, who still holds the official here. Is it not so?" record for throwing, has "Not exactly," was the morose annever had a superior in shooting the swer; "I'm taking it to prevent any ball to the four bases from center chance of my making a mistake and field- Throwing is the foundations ol coaiing here again." baseball, weak throwing teams can never win the prize in the major THE REASON. leagues, while accurate throwing will cut off reckless base running and force all to earn their way around the bases. Men stopped ground balls as well 20 years ago as they do at the present time, and without the use of gloves. For instance, Big Ed William son and Fred Pfeffer, of Chicago; Bid MePh.ee, of Cincinnati; Danny Rich ardson, of New York; John Burdock of Boston; Fred Dunlap, of Detroit, and scores of others. Who could beat Danny Richardson, Bid McPhee, Fred Pfeffer, Fred Dunlap, John Farrell or Joe Gerhardt on pivot work in a dou ble play? Pitchers were as clever ten or 20 years ago as at the present time. There were fewer of the box artists employed, and the regular men were accustomed to their work, making a stronger combination. I have nevef team work than seen finer was displayed by Baltimore, Boston Binner I notice you always con- and Cleveland ten years ago, unless tribute to the foregin missionary so- it was by the New York Giants In 1889. ciety. John F. Morrill was by all odds the Skinner Yes; I always try to make finest throwing first baseman the my money go as far as possible. ' game has produced, and I have in Brooklyn Eagle. mind all the clever men of the presA Hard Language to Understand. ent time, for Morrill had great speed Bacon I see that Jeremiah Curtin. as well as absolute accuracy, and was at present living in Bristol, Vt., is off like a flash on every play, being a said to be the master of seventy lan- wonder on ground balls. The games have grown mechanical, guages. Egbert And yet he might go to and the team that makes the fewest London and ask a bus man a question mistakes will be apt to win out. for and have to give it up after the bus- blunders are cos,tly where teams are man had repeated his answer a dozen evenly matched .outside of aggressivetimes. Yonkers Statesman. ness and brain" work. There is too much sameness about the methods Campaign of Education. used tO tnake runs. A player reaches "In the summer," remarked the first and the next man walks up and obese passenger with the big diamond bunts for an easy out. Sometimes stud, "people should cat nothing but think the sacrifice hunt should be cut cold food and drink the coldest water out of the game, making It more open obtainable." and giving a chance for unlooked field "Ah!" exclaimed the railway detec- plays. tive, "you are evidently a doctor?" "Not me," replied the o. p. "I'm an AMONG THF MINORS ice dealer." Chicago Daily News. . has released The Atlam. His Pious View. Catcher O'Leary. First Passenger (on tho "L" We The Indianapolis club has released ought to agitate for better service. Outfielder "Sandy" Murray. Second Passenger Oh, no. Why The Memphis club, of tthe Southern not leave the matter to those In league, has released Pitcher Loucks. whose hands Providence has placed The Evansville club has signed the transit facilities of the country? Pitcher Charles Jaeger, late of Peoria Puck. Catcher Henry Peitz has come to terms with Ixiuisville and has signed Woman's Idea. a contract. to"Why is Mabel so disagreeable The Holyoke club, of the Connect! day?" cut league, has released Outfielder She's pouting because her new Thomas Devine. i shoes don't fit.' Pitcher Ambrose Puttmnn, who has "No?' been holding out for salary Increase, "No. They don't hurt her a bit" has signed a Louisville contract. Milwaukee Sentinel The Brooklyn club has transferred Catcher Jerry Hurley to Toronto and a Rest. Getting Pitcher J, W. Whiting to JersOj- City Bacon Do you enjoy walking? The Newark club, of the Eastern You se-e-, Egbert Oh, Immensely! has purchased Pitcher Mai league, to I can't at wife walk and all, get my the Brooklyn from Eason club for I'm where T can't when I'm walking $2,000. hear her talking! Yonkers The Danville club, of the Virginia league, has signed Second Baseman Elmer Brown, laie of the New York How Did He Know. league "Lusbley thinks that automobiles Terre Haute has signed Outfielder are a snare and a delusion." t the .e Kearney, of Normal Park. Ill to ren "Does he ihot delusions ." Life place Donovan of Cleveland. Machines may come and machines may go, but the McCormicK s'ay on iorever. 1 You buy i McCormicKr abou' price when you compare the amount cf work you get out of it with any other similar machine. 1 Write our nearest branch house or at Salt agent or to the general office McCor' handscme for Lake City, Utah, 1 half mick Art Catalogue. We want to make your acquaintance. 1 Write or call. long-distanc- e - . -- aiisiao:or terms and prices Consolidated Wagon & Machine Company out-thro- I Although the Bulaba-Lulu- a The Boys We've had a ripping langauge is re- time. Miis Rose. Miss Rose Well. then. I wish you'd markably rich in some tear yourselves away. Cincinnati it shows a no directions, less remarkable paucity of terms in other direcStrange. Indeed. Inluha - Culua By REV. W. M. MORRISON. Ulcttoniry of the Bulubi-Author of Gmmmiir mil nl. i3 Language a Spoken in the Upper Kaaai and Congo Basin. Africa. Chicago Daily Mews. t 0aaaajaaEBBBBBBjaBK9B GAME NO MORE SCIENTIFIC THAN THAT OF THIRTY YEARS AGO, SAYS CRITIC. d The Obstacle Itself. one of the appalling evils of our great commonwealth that our Eva Yes, I am a great believer in method of adjusting the relations of poverty and wealth is so consepicuous onions as beatitifiers. Why when a i failure that it has fallen below the standards of the aborigines, being girl diets on onions she is pretty inferior to that of the red Indians. Society, through its organized form, enough to kiss. Jack But who wants to kiss a girl the state, should see to it that the material and spiritual wants of all are who diets on onions? It OF II hc.-ir- . The most important ingredient of efficiency is desire to know. The socialism of intelligence is within easy reach. It is probable that when common intelligence is achieved the disquieting socialism of capital will Two Souls, Etc. have less cogent reasoning to rapport it. "I hope I shall never see you coining The particular kind of intelligence needed by democracy is intelli- out of a saloon, Henry Peek!" "I hope you never will, Maria." gence as to government and not intelligence as to ethics, fiction, law and Houston Post. bacA man may be a walking dictionary, living encyclopaedia, business. TWO OF THEM. teria wizard, or virtue personified, and yet not intelligent as to government. best, citizens in a church parlor and 100 frequentGiven 100 MiLA a IT! ers of a Bowery saloon, and it would be a rash man who would feel sure that the average intelligence as to government, its needs, its justice, its methods, was higher in the parlor than in the saloon. In nearly all lines of business, in housekeeping, in certain branches of hospital, school and church work, it is already realized that good service means efficient service, that an honest man who is inefficient can do more to defeat the purpose for which be is employed than a dishonest man compelled by intelligent supervision to render efficient service. So far as this principle is accepted efficiency tests are substituted for goodness tests. Where standards of administration are unsatisfactory; where taxes are too high and buy too little: where schools waste taxpayers' money, pupils' time and democracy's Opportunity ; where results of religious work are disappointing; where hospitals regularly incur deficits; where crime is neither controlled nor understood J where oivic and educational leaders make futile protests against political corruption; where good intention is permitted to cover a multitude of administrative sins; where charity injures (hose it aims to help efficiency tits will be found lacking. Sociability TIME BASEBALL SHOWS LITTLE ADVANCE Leading Implement Dealers Utah and Idaho George T. Odel!, General Manager at Salt LaK'. Ogden. Logan Idaho Falls and Mon'pelier Hou.te.s You can't get a better start In lifa than to buy your wedding ring of us. After that we have the wedding silver, beautiful jewelry, diamonds and fine watches. Prices always reasonable. ESTABLISH I fW 170 MAIN STa SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH. Bell hone Ind. 1'houe - LJlt P.O.Box Kstablished PATENTS they may bring you wealth. Patents, Ctveats, Trade Marks and Designs Information furnished Free quickly obtained. upon application. Protect your ideas Harry J. Robinson ATTORNEY AT LAW AND 102 MERCANTILE BLOCK, SOLICITOR SALT OF PATENT UTAH LAKE CITY, Brains. Famous brains are of four sorts. The lowest group contains the minds that are stimulated greatly by alcohol, tea and other drugs by impressions derived from the senses; the second group contains the infant prodigies, whose intellectual powers wane in middle age; the third group contains the pathological cases usually terminating in insanity; the fourth and highest group is that of true geniuses, whose powers remain unimpaired until old age. This is Hause-mann'- s classification. Spitzka has come to the conclusion that men eminent in exact sciences, like astronomy and mathematics, have the greatest average brain weight. Next come the men of action, including statesmen and artists, after these come the biologists, geologists and Dthgr representatives of the descriptive sciences. Lawyers' Speeches Limited. In the Neuchatel courts the speeches of lawyers will in future be limited to ten minutes, five minutes being allowed for An official timekeeper will see that the regulation is observed. Proof of Power. The man who is worthy of belns; a leader of men will never complain of the stupidity of his helpers, of the Ingratitude of mankind nor of the of the These public. things are all a part of the great game of life and to meet them and not go down before them in discouragement and defeat is the final proof of power. Elbert Hubbard. Danger in Elixir. Few physicians realize that simple elixir used as a , vehicle in prescriptions intended for children contains a considerable proportion of alcohol. This means that In a teaspoonftil a child, often less than a year old. gets a quarter of a teaspoonful of alcohol at a dose. To avoid this danger an aromatic water or simple sirup should be used Medical Record. High Prices for Relics. For a small silver cup or tho commonwealth period, welching three ounces, $150 an ouneo was paid in London recently, while a Charles II tumbler, with the York hall mark of 1682. brought $100 an ounce. Stradivarius Violin Sold. The Stradivarius violin, known ns the Snags violin among violinists and considered imp of the Btleil riolUUI by Stradivarius In existence, was sold at auction In London the other day for It Is rather shorter than the $2,rno usual violins of that make. Peace. 'To to murder, In their Imposing language. UYJ the acts of civil policy When they have tnadn the world a solitude th" rail It peace." Tacit us. rnh, to iavnge.