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Show lull"" ir'f di'ilnwii Yitf1" ! THE IffiLFM TIMES, HELPER, UTAH THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 3, 1927 HE HELPER TIMES sued Vardon's Golf Improved Camera Man Saved Tkb Prisoner the Postoffice at y, Hi w .; t ramcus First Lines man ycu were out Mail Matter. Second-Clas- s W?:o was the ! Subscription L. CONNER, C. 5 Rate, $2.00 Per Year in Advance t Publisher At At. Af. y one better it can give t I gin V Fine. geei j Treasurer. I LODGE NO. 56 ' I. 0. 0. F. -- &' The Lansruaeea Wo SDcak "Let me take your snip." Second "Go on, this an't no snip, ilnwn Iho V!inir2o river hn hppn rlirnh. II S a Sling 81101. Tin. iiilviiin'a i,f ho r!.ntnnt Icle by ninny misdeeds ugiilnsi the Clilnese t! lives. Agitators have formed , Third "Your both wrwig, it's a Mrike groups, who mresl innoceru women serving as servants to foreigners, flipper." with working ngainst the "This pliotoj:ii:p!i shows o servant, charf-'ei- l Soviet, tied to ti pule like n pig transported tor fortunately the NOW WE WILL SING that latest iliorogni; her navcd her lif. Vh n I he Iteds learned she was Daiiad entitled "My Wife Has Left er und the piciure Would bo shown to foreigner th(J rl;h.i.T.-'pliPiy n forei-i& Traveling Sales. ' Irl her no CNnii:iii:iiist! iut as I 5 Co. 1 YOU CAN ALWAYS tell the size of a man's head by the hat he wears, but you never can tell the size of woman's feet by the shoes she wears. lnd a A STOEY Embalmer Licensed Erabalmers I tie los YVe Amreicans have a peculiar peal. ,We assure ourselves (and Three of them were sitting in the Rolando Building Woe' Phone 12r Aman, his wife and his complex inherited from our Pari-- ' others) that we read for, cultural apartment. 29 Helper Telephone Price, Uta mother-in-law- . The three of them had tan forbears: "We stubborly re- piirposcs or intellectual or spiritreached a eisis. They were discussing Sar fuse to admit that we ever do ual sustenance; and just look at domestic I ftillOWM problems in foreign accents. anything for the sake of pleasure. the list of best sellers! "We tell Said the wife: plans error. each other we attend ball games, "You cur, I was terribly, fooled "We persist in regarding pleasHNew She when marired then took I you." ure as a and feel that not for fun, but to get the benefit IB the Where you get the best that money can bey in a rolling pin and pushed him into un"We of outdoors. the s' being apologize consciousness. doing anything pleasurable for its she I Whereupon both dlplon for we own sake is akin to sin." The sur- playing golf, and we say and her mother laughed gleefully. The lost n -- DRUGS AKTJ MEDICINES it; for health or business rea- - man soon recovered and got up grin- est way for an American small, d envoy When we go to a circus, weeing for in a way the joke was on sonr5ognize is to insure a whipping to boy frtur ii Greenhalgh's Drug Store 'nles. - ; TOILET y GOODS GALORE :Her Physicians' Prescriptions Carefully Compounded From Standard Drugs of Known Qualiyt. - MaMMIHBIII"IIHIIIlai"IIIHlalB THE HELPER GARAGE a F. - Auto L. WILLIAMS. Manager First Class Repairing Agents . CHEVROLET Automobiles. Supplies s - c 7 1Cn,a. t ap-jt- y t,a-- 1 v 111 . V j ' for NASH and We always have used cars at a bargain Telephone j 47-t- 44 and Ilelper, Utah 27-- cf.Vi psril .SK.- LCD -- you, TVie TAil. THAT S - -- The Chicago Trib Said: She stood on the bridge at midnight, And tickled his nose with her toes, For she was only a misiuito, And the bridge was the bridge of his nose. ;v! - Helper Lumber & Hardware Company 1 HELPER THERE ARE only seven original jokes in the world, some philosopher caid. So far today we've used all seven of 'em. UTAH 7 HSU UTAH FAMOUS TALES TALES of a wayside Inn. The TALE of Two Cities. F UEL Head or . CARBON COUNTY COALS AND COKE THIS IS the hist time I'll ever lose my head over a woman, said the wife murdere, as he laid his head under the guillotine. CAR20N COUNTY COALS ARE THE (In I'M FROM HELf'ER, said the man. Which is the shortest Price. way out Mine Props products. of BEST the market for Horses and Mules for Mines Hay and Grain , lack mid COMPAN Miners and Shippers of Fishing Ties and Sprags and various other local .:'',: Home Industries Patronized Short Story Jill went out picking fluwers. Jill's little sister tagged along. Sd th.-- picked flowers. - , Gut) . CJ XAfyn-- C 7 " " WO.Slfl! THAT WOUL0 HURT MlfA BES.0ES- -J ?v How could 3T J i mi mm WAppy (P Mc Pv piDWT HAVE A TAIL "TO . Xr I v ASK US FOR A COMPLETE COST OF MATERIAL FOR THAT BUILDING IT'S FREE nobody. r-- r Select your Lumber with as much care as you would a new pair of shoes or a new hat - Don't laugh if it hurts but a little giggle won't harm HAS nVlAT D0 OP A PfiETT IOU(t TAIL FOft AU AlRtCVVLE, AlUT HE '0X 1.3 . 4 4 - '? s tell his father: "Aw, I did it for take a small boy along and blame nimit on him. fun" Oh, glimpse the little snowf lakes, Recently this writer said that This writer confesses that he Playing in the sky, in his If drink did never opinion, they would stay up in the air, suffers from- this complex, and The ground would soon be dry. Kwu, vuumg. tauretraces it back to his childhood Irresponsible. Ui luc iaeL luai v" lsluclttl,uu This educatton-th- ati'; training. ,1 r...41,4..1 i! Not Completely received from bis nnrents. uncles the sccond has -- iven men and She (to man bending over prostrate aunts, grandparents, teachers, form,: "Is he drunk!" ( week-dv and Sunday- - school), Pvomcn a lot of P'easiire. If pleas-th- e He (rising up): "No, I seen him ls any ood, then sometimes move his minister, and the doctor--!u- rc finger." was based on the theory that such a coektai1 does Zood- The French and such a thing was '"good for",say they drmk Wlne because the' IT'S GETTING so nowadays, said Marvcy, that if you try to obey one him or "bad for" him. Whether ,cnj0' linking wine;' the Ger-- a law you just break another. make no Pretense of drink" thing was agreeable or disagree-!manAnotlier Story able to him was never considered mg beer for its food values; et man went to church one A certain American can average give as a factor, .one- way or the other. When the collection box was day. dozen for "reasons" . , ia , taking a he threw in a poker chip. around passed ' drink and never include pleasure. An . , , , Vll HlV.t: elderly lady just behind him heard lilt ttlltl.-which is his real reason . , , , , the clink and then said to her bus. were aewn in tne world, dome-sicThis same writer recently, ad- band: lonely, and broke. They re- mitted that he "My there's a good man, he threw sented the fact that the aristo thinks womenbeing masculine, in a dollar." should not smoke. the man who had commitcracy and the nobility in the old He neglected Whereupon entirely the element ted the good deed reached hurriedly incountry did things for pleasure. of pleasure and took no cogniz- to his pocket to see if he had made In their eyes, anything the arisance of the fact that perhaps one" a mistake. tocracy did was wrong. There- reason for a woman's smoking is THIS IS fore, pleasure for its own sake that she supposed to be a humor enjoys it the same as a column folks. was vi-iv- charieisuqhi. loverslgb Ind ll.-n- HLo . ( IS PLEASURE A SIN? LAMBSON, N. c M. A. 1IAQA, Set") six-tim- e NEW First ilivy D. E. lcome. f the I Lord ONWARD CONS. LODGE HO. 15 R'ing a 'ar-doFor the longosl while. H"nrry Knights of Pythias open golf champ, has been rather low In las golf playing, Meets Every Thursday Evening aujl,e hik liecently he purelia.si'tl glasses, and 7:30, at Cistlo Hall. fihus dh on his first lime around in them, surE. N. Radcliff, Latuda, C. C. 1 lhe Ilut prised even himself with a score of A M. Haaga, Kenilworth. K.of R &s ! )ry or W, white pur is about 74. F. C. Bertolina, Helper, M. of F. ' , Famous Last Line f- Boliday POPE & POPE This is my last drop said the man g Uo, as he tumbled out of the balloon. So G Lawyers I nd Er Offices In Provo and Helper rrny Helper State Bank Bldg. DR. M. C. MELROSE UU1 fort T Phone 11 Helper, Physician and Surgeon George . o ) the Helper State Eank Building DR. W. A. HARDY tl era ! HELPER, UTAH ( and t DENTIST PHONES I die sc Office In Henry Hail Block .Residence, 16G Office, 131 $ bat w Phone 99 ni line's THE ABBOTT MORTUAEY tune, b J. E. IXYKK ; ft r the FUNERAL DIRECTORS I tj face Undertaker and Licensed S I i a- . X -' i . "xieut. "and o k, L 4 Meets every Tuesday evening f"''" the K. P. Hall. Important busincm1 f alb's a at every meeting. Members urge- frr'tish . , . I .. i . : i. i uremren we- riles an io- aiienu, viamug m ; I'AVEMENT we have here is hard to take, especially if you happen to take it with your head. THE ADVERTISING paper depends as much upon the advertising it gets as a horse does upon the oats it gets. Take the oats away from the horse end what happens. The horse that is not grain fed, is about as good on a hard pull as a lizzie is with the wicked. low gear gone. man does. Their Yet the farmer doesn't feed all training, social and re"We do net advocate drinking or his horses on oats. There are ligious, was based on the theory or gaming for pleasure; smoking some nags in his band that are not of the flagellant. They would but if an individual balances acworth it. It would be a waste of scourge the body and mortify the counts and concludes that the money to do it. The merchant is flesh in this world, take no pleas- pleasure overbalances the pains as wise as the farmer, lie doesn't ure here below (they didn't have and ills, why not admit it instead and re- e count on losing money by adver- much chance to get any), . .oi manufacturing excuses? in u.eir neaven, rnvaiu. tising in a meduim that doesn't A frank admission that we do . , n, r ....... .... , uu , iju, cm w.e ( produce results. If there is, howf , for the f O themselves' denied pleasure they in a his town that can ever, paper r.nd t lie omission of hypocritical with compound interest. produce results, it is to his inter- here, ....... t -,H,i n- ests to use its space. "We must rej in the world. .a p 1...M,...,:ii we 1111 "lit I'oln jus in ncxrri'ot enma nf ixii wnenever lan.Miiciu K"'u member that there are some good horeJ that are not grain fed. admit that we- do anything bc-- j the evils that oppress us. Liber-euus- e of its or their aesthetic Magazine. They have been left out for some reason, and some other horse Miss Florence Good and Jim Oalunis, what news it happens to have. whose limbs have long since gone News and advertising go hand in! of tllp Gli!lU'" IU,,C store u'ft Vednes-hnn.l- . lame, for some reason have got CV0"'lflS for Louis, Mo. They Rntli l,.non.1 ii.v.n 1, Ml, J l. off mill tlli f.ohlnn the'r nostrils in the mue hag. er lh.j are so interlocking that lllld iu that nIs0 buy .ityj Bnd A paper to be a good advertisif one tans me otner goes tne f,r.iihr tr(i, r,1P ,:- - , They are ing medium should have a circusame way. rxjH'i'ted to be gone about ten da vs. lation covering the community. To "We hope The Time:; Helper build up this, circulation it must i to he grain-fed- . FOE SALE We want proves ' rppeal to the reader: No person t.t ..tl'.t U ....... U .. n 1. lit Vftlf llrtl. U 1HH? cl i'fimi lllitt IUC linn. vl l11' lunnNiiv, buys a paper to road only the ad- - ladvertiser will advertise in. Not "f"'"t hoiif; juiiivi has bath, fireplace, linen verlis'iig, and v.ca versa, no per- - out of sympathy for us, but out of closet, etc., and garage. Phone John son buys a paper to just read respect to his own business. f Laboroi, at 323w. A IE C I o Lor HELPEB. CONSOLIDATE!, the J hi x tackling. Allison, 'Jotf) gec. - "4 who had Sue Maulsby, Mary ui. T' he with an enthusiastic quartet and then find out that the bass an tenor are prohibition agents. r iJurgar, f DUMB POME I put my arm around the neck Of one I held so dear. Lip met lip with luscious smack, As I guzzled down the beer. its news a personal touch. The fact that John Jones has lost a valuable horse, is as valuable an item to the weekly as is the foreign debt question to the daily. It must make use of it, If it doesn't it's overstepping a sure bet. The weekly should be vitally interested in local affairs, just like the daily is in domestic and world affairs. It should stand for what its town stands for, and help forward all measures of a construc tive nature. It should help the town in solving its problems. It can do this by getting the people of the town thinking about them. It should present and analyze these problems and with the h. lp! of the people," solve them. Thus distinct problems face the weekly editor. He must have the ability to see them and the ambition to to tackle them. The Helper Times may not have the ability to recognize all problems, but those its does, you can bet your last hat on that, it will not be afraid to roll up its sleeves and be- 3 4 J with THE MOST disappointing thing in the world is to sing Sweet Adeline 1 THE WEEKLY NEWSPAPER A weekly newspaper should perform the same. function that the large metropolitan dailies perforin. That is, it must supply the news that the reader desires. It should not Avcaiy him with a lot of inconsequential matter. It should give him items lie is vitally interested in. It should supply him with the facts that are closely connected with him. The large daily gives its reader worldwide news. It tells him the The happenings in the world. small weekly cannot do this, but it can perform the same function in another form. "Where the large paper is distinctly formal, the weekly is informal. It can give local happenings the same as the large paper gives world happen ings. It can go its big brother! ... last night f -- ff f Jucci8 tKe Second and Fourth Frida- of Each Month 'j Florence Lambson, N. Q, r i Gladys Johnson, V. Q. " '"as Seen by The Office Boy Things Ilelper as NO. EEBEKAH Every Thursday at Helper Carbon Coumy, tftaa. tfutcred in UTAHHA LODGE l " LT Ifqi -- - mn...i. igp k, 1 ? I I V'i A I "'Ii,. 3&k I I |