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Show I Wednesday, March 31 , 1 976 Pego7 yinidliLop Some crazy things happened this past week in the world of sports, as they usually do around April 1. So keep readin' cause ol' Bill's gonna tell ya'all about it. JOE WILLIE ; Wasn't that something about Joe Willie Namath? Said he was finally quitting football on account of those knees. I hear he plans to make a comeback in another sport, seems he can't make up his mind between trying the pro ski tour, replacing Johnny Bench as catcher for the Reds, or becoming a full-time rugby player for the Park City Muckers, Well, good luck Joe, at least you've finalh escaped those defensive lineman. FROM TENNIS TO GOLF Ilie Nastase said he's hall enough with professional tennis' and huffing and puffing at the officials for bad calls, unjust fines, and getting 86'd from tournaments. Ilie said he's going to try the golf circuit, predicts he'll win this year's Masters and U.S. Open and as a bonus, he promises he'll never throw a club after a bad shot. Alright Ilie, you know we believe you ! TROTTERS VICTORIOUS And of course a big congratulations to the Harlem Globetrotters for their victory over Indiana In-diana Monday night to win the NCAA Basketball tournament. The Indiana Hoosiers, undefeated all season, were due to play, the Michigan Wolverines in the final game but the Michigan squad become "homesick" and decided to hook 'em on back to Ann Arbor. The Globetrotters did just that, as they flew non-stop from Istanbul, Turkey arriving 20 minutes before game time and stunned the packed house at the Spectrum by pulling out an 85-30 thriller! DW"Xuted,FEeatty by JeadowOaffc Lemon and teammates in the' second quarter was the turning point of the game as Indiana fell behind 30-4. , i . .: SPRING TRAINING v Well, baseball spring training finally got started star-ted in Florida last week but We understand all organized baseball has come to an abrupt halt. It seems the players have decided to play ball on the sunny beaches with the thousands of co-eds rather than in the ball parks against each other. The spokesman for the players', Marvin Miller, indicated that the players have agreed to go backc to their camps when the girls, here for spring break, head back north to their respective colleges. ' Johnny Bench spoke for the players as he said, "The ball players agreed that we would get in better shape on the beaches and around the pools, than we would in those closed in ball parks. Most guys are improving their averages, and working fairly hard on their tan. I think we'll be ready for the season opener." JABBAR THE JOCKEY What about the news from the world of thoroughbred racing? Trainer LeRoy Jolley has decided that Kareem Abdul Jabbar will ride favorite Honest Pleasure in this year's Kentucky Derby. by BUI Roland "Yes, sir," Jolley said, "I believe I've got a great combination, even though Kareem outweighs out-weighs most jockeys by about 145 lbs. If Honest Pleasure gets a little tired of coming around the clubhouse turn, Kareem will take his feet out of the stirrups and run along giving us 6 legs workin' instead of just four." Seems like a great idea. But what does Kareem say. "Well, I'm ready. Whenever we're in L A. I've been going over to Disneyland and riding the merry-go-round. Feel pretty good up their now, but at first I was a little afraid. Come Derby Day I plan to win and buy everybody in Kentucky! a mintjulip." J Good luck gentlemen... and you too, Honest Pleasure. SUPERSTARS COMPETITION In Superstars Competition over the weekend, Olga Korbut of the Soviet Union defeated Alex Karras formerly of the Detroit Lions, in the. Beer-chugging contest. Miss Korbut downed, a six-pack in 23.6 seconds while Karras quit after two beers and switched to the harder stuff. ; In the tequila contest, Lee Trevino was the winner hands down and promised to carry a flask of tequila in his golf bag. The endurance marathon was won by pre-race favorite Howard Cosell as he finally kept his mouth closed and crossed the finish line three yards ahead of mean Joe Green. ; In the body-building competition it was again no contest as Junior Samples clearly outmatched rivals O.J. Simpson, Franco Harris and Muham-medAli. Muham-medAli. : h-eatner ana ; NEW YORK 500 In motor sports, Richard Petty, David Pearson J and DiK2dy Baker wertft 'fined $30 each by1? NASCAR for a fiasco in New York City the" other f day. Seems they . were out drinkin' at P.J. ' Clarke's and bet each other on who could drive the best in New York City during rush hour. So at 5:15 Friday afternoon the trio headed down Madison Ave. at approximately 100 mph, each driving their own racing vehicles with signs . painted on the hoods saying "We're Going or It." ; ; ,. -. V.;; ) Richard Petty won the race and was immediately im-mediately challenged by a 10-year veteran cab , driver. All three stock car drivers accepted the challenge and were obviously embarassed as the cab driver won easily. ,' Petty said in his southern drawl, "I'd a won easy, 'cept these hookers over on Lexington Ave. ' caught my attention and I went into a spin and wound up in the lobby of the Waldorf-Astoria. Never can find my pit crew when I really need t 'em." - NASCAR officials issued the fine because all three drivers violated Rule 146 B. What's the rule? "Never accept a bet with a New York City cabbie on home territory. Violators will be fined $50." Richard Petty said at the hearing, "See what happens to a southern boy when he comes to the Big Apple. Believe I'll be headin' on down south, eat some ham 'n' biscuits and only race against folks who say 'ya'll ! " Goodbye. AM City Recorder Bruce Decker will announce on April 1 that the city will impose im-pose a license fee for pet parakeets and goldfish. " It was revealed that free flying parakeets which are not city, trained hav been leaving their marks about town while unleashed goldfish gold-fish are causing a large scale problem on v the city sidewalks. . " ' The revenue generated by the licensing fees will be used to employ a fulltime Parakeet and Fish Control Officer. V V Decker said ,he hopes that citizens will comply ; voluntarily volun-tarily with' the. licensing procedure fut added that late night raids into private homes -may become necessary if owners' fail to cooperate., "Other cities which have passed this same ordinance have found that refrigerators, refriger-ators, ovens and washer-dryer washer-dryer combos are the most prevalent hiding places for bootlegged pets." Decker noted. He added that a parakeet and fish-sniffing canine, similar to the ones Used to detect illegal drugs, may be sused by local authorities. 4 , A Park City police department official predicted that voluntary compliance has "about a fifty-fifty chance" forisuccess. "l don't know whether or not they'll lt us count their i fish, but I'm. sure they'll give ' us the bird."said the source whtth asked to remain unidentified. : 11'.. II 1st Annual ALL FOOL'S KITE FLYING CONTEST "finme anri Male a a Fool of Yoi irself" M THURSDAY APRIL 1 ST (If Weather Permits) t CASE OF BEER FOR MOST "FAR OUT" KITE ' 1 CASE OF BEER FOR MOST ORIGINAL DESIGN BAR OPENS AT NOON BAR-B-Q Contest Starts at 2 pm Co-Pilots Aflowed HAPPY HOUR FROM 5-7 Howard Hughos Roportod Staying In Park City ; Usually deniable sources have reported that billionaire recluse Howard Haghes is in Park City on a ski vacation. It is believed that - Mr. Hughes and his entourage are occupying the entire ground floor of the Calico Cottage on Woodside Ave. and will be here through April Fool's Day. N Calico owner Elly Katz would neither confirm nor deny the presence of the phantom figure despite the 12 Lincoln Continentals and nine Cadillacs parked in front of her cottage. . Hughes has not been spotted on the slopes and it is suspected that he is night skiing on Claimjumper with the aid of sophisticated sonar and radar equipment supplied sup-plied by , the : Central Intelligence Agency. Transportation from the bottom of the run to the top is reportedly provided by jet helicopter. The sources say Hughes is in Park City on business as well as pleasure. It has been rumored that the monied mystery man is set io purchase pur-chase the entire state of Utah as a subsidary of his Nevada operations. ' Utah Gov. Calvin Rampton has refused to comment on this possibility. ITALIAN CUISINE an elegant but casual atmosphere OPEN FOR DINNER NIGHTLY From 5:30 Til 10:30 MINI-BOTTLES AND WINE AVAILABLE LOUNGE OPEN Till 9 AM :EMHG:NSsii Often 7:00 a.m. io 40:00 ft,. m. Breakfast served until 2:00 p.m. Reasonable lunches and family dinners. Featuring the best omelettes this side of Poison Creek. 317 Mein Street 649-8234 to UWtUI WT ' "C -' .t)IM''tMl WUH'A -O MMMIK" .VMU JV .iv..JVwv.."-4 -.Z .?"3riw no Tren r "one "xaV In Parl City it's the CTJJ Featuring the finest in country music ; CURRENTLY SHOWING: THURSDAY NIGHT: OBEDIAHS ORGANIC BLUE GRASS BAND Ladles Free All Set-ups 50c FRIDAY, SATURDAY & SUNDAY THE SMOLDER BROTHERS Open Thursday thru Sunday, 7:00 pm to 1:00 am. Major entertainment 9:00 pm until closing. $2.00 cover charge Friday and Saturday. Thursday: Ladies FREE and Gents $1.00! ; Sunday: HAPPY HOUR AND A HALF! Thursday thru Sunday 7:00 pm to 8:30 pm! HALF PRICE BEER! HALF PRICE MIXERS! HALF PRICE COVER CHARGE! -Friday & Saturday for anyone staying for our nightly entertainment! C'est Bon Entertainment Lounge on the second floor at the C'est Bon Hotel, Park City. I |