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Show Seek Counsel During Courtship, Advises U. Marriage Counselor Ut m,2 knowing where trouble could develop." de-velop." Most couples who come to the counseling center at the University of Utah do eventually get married after resolving problems dealing with education, religion, vocations and even in-laws. Although the University has been offering full-time full-time marriage and family counseling counsel-ing since 1927, pre-marital counseling coun-seling didn't become a major service serv-ice until 1950. now in j Alar;;, The director of the University of urb, a a: Utah's marriage and Family Counel- ' its ing Bureau, Veon G. Smith, advises ided El young couples to seek counsel dur- l tin i ing their courtship, not after their e - marriage is headed for the divorce ! tht a? , nadeto- courtS- tors of Mr. Smith says widespread pre- sslesM marital counseling would cut the ie staW divorce rate, which last year sep- Jie car ar-i arated nearly 490,000 couples. In as he wil- fact, he thinks counseling for : of the k: couples under a certain age should ed fifffli: be a compulsory prerequisite to obtaining ob-taining a marriage license. s ijjf The marriage specialist believes Pi!e: ; Americans urge counseling at the recorJcf vmg enj 0f the courtship-marr- lntli iage-divorce cycle. "By the time a behind fe-. CQuple has entered the courtS the damage is done and often irrepar-l,e irrepar-l,e able. Most often pre-marital coun- not (te se"nS does not cancel marriage jatientljfe P'ans ll iust eliminates problems street A ore tney begin," Mr. Smith said, . theijW comparing it to preventive medi- W cine- ed) "I do think marriage license bur-- bur-- r eaus and justices of the peace could refer young pre-wedded couples 1o a counselor, or at least guide them in the right direction." Smith, who himself is a veteran I pre-marital counselor, says many couples come to him "just to be talked out of marriage." However, most of them make appointments with his staff of licensed coun selors for one of two reasons: (1) advice on preparation for marriage and how to recognize problems before be-fore they begin and, (2) the resolution res-olution of problems already encountered en-countered in the courtship. "When an individual is in the process of deciding about marriage it may vell be a time when factors of judgment, sense of the practical, objectivity and even intelligence are least likely to be operating effectively," ef-fectively," Mr. Smith said. One of the most common areas in which the counselor can advise the prospective couple is in communication. com-munication. "This is often the hardest hard-est problem to recognize before or during marriage." Mr. Smith said, citing an example a condition where one partner is more verbal than the other. "The articulate individual indi-vidual can express his feelings more readily and, discussion, can easily come to a solution of a problem. prob-lem. The other partner may be less expressive and inclined to want to think about a problem at length. Quite often, it is this other partner who eventually feels resentment at having his mind made up by his mate." "The problem of communication is rarely recognized by the young couple, but can be spotted after one interview by a counselor." he added, "Such a situation does not have to be resolved by breaking the engagement, but by merely |
