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Show Good Hunting It isn't necessary to be a professor profes-sor to forget to remember to return a borrowed umbrella. Any one can do it with a little practice as Mr. Smith found out. He was carrying an umbrella because it looked a little like rain. An acquaintance he chanced to meet mentioned that the umbrella that Smith was carrying was one he had loaned him several months ago. Smith was extremely abject in his apologies and insisted that the man take it before he forgot for-got it again. Smith was determined that he wouldn't be caught with somebody else's umbrella again so he headed for the nearest department store and purchased one for each member mem-ber of his family. He boarded a bus for the return home and who was sitting opposite him on the bus but the acquaintance to whom he had just returned the umbrella. The other man eyed Smith's armful arm-ful of umbrellas rather admiringly. "Darned good hunting, Smith," he complimented him. No Come-Down A famous author was attending a party when a very unimportant writer came up to him and belittled himself to the author. He admitted that he was a poor writer, a hack, and shouldn't even be included in the great man's company. The author listened patiently for five minutes, then said, "Why do you make yourself so small? You were never that big." ' Still Stuck Gerald had inherited the chore of mowing the lawn every week from his three older brothers. That was an old family custom. When the latest addition to the family was old enough he was shown how to do it and there was no escape. It was the day to mow the lawn again when he was told that another an-other baby had been brought to the house. He beamed happily at the good news. "And what do you think?" his father continued. "You now have a baby sister," Gerald's face fell as he muttered disconsolately, "Golly, I'm stuck with the lawn." MAKING CONVERSATION The green car rolled to a smooth halt and the driver leaned out of i the window and called to the old man with a cane. "Am I on the right road to Springfield?" he I asked. The old man looked up and said, "Eh?" The driver shouted, "Am I on the right road to Springfield?" "You'll hev to talk a leetle loud- ' er, young feller,' I'm a mite deef," the old man replied. The driver tried a third time,' then realizing the case was hopeless, hope-less, continued on his way. He had traveled about three miles when he came to a farmhouse in front of which the farmer's wife j was standing. I He stopped the car and called, ! "Am I on the ?" I "Keep right on this road," she said, "I heard you the first time." FAIR ENOUGH "May 1 take Johnny to the zoo tomorrow afternoon?" his eldei sister asked. "Certainly not," snapped the boy's father. "If the zoo wants him, let them come after him!" Too True Neighbor "Ah, your baby looks very pretty in that dress. Where are you taking her?" Mother "To her grandmother's house for a general overmauling." |