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Show Kathleen Norris Says: What Is Ahead of You? Bell Syndicate. WNU Features. "I talked of a job, but couldn't be spared at home. Amanda talked of Hollywood, but as a minor couldn't try that." MEETING THE TEST It is very hard and painful for a prosperous, upper middle-class family to drop in the scale to what seems a poverty level. It happened often in the early years of the depression, in the 1930s, but not many people peo-ple have had to face this crisis during the war years. The Porter family of Minneapolis, however, had to readjust their living standard radically when John Porter fell chronically ill and had to give up his fob as a salesman. Mrs. Porter had to make swift, stern decisions. The children chil-dren had to give up all the glamorous social life, all the expensive frills that had come to be all-important to them. Jack quit college and went to work in his father's firm. Mrs. Porter found a fob in a hotel. Amanda left school and took over the housework. They bought a place in the country; a worn-out farm that provides a pleasant home, with plenty of fruit and vegetables. By KATHLEEN NORRIS I " IGHT in the middle of times so bad that they -L V seemed absolutely j frightening," writes Mrs. John Porter of Minneapolis, "they suddenly grew worse. I know just how depressing this sounds to many women who are finding today's times hard and puzzling enough, but that Is the way it was with us, and will be with others. One year ago, when prices began to skyrocket sky-rocket and we were practically practical-ly evicted, the nightmare of house-hunting, the piling-up of bills, the strain upon my husband hus-band and the children's discontent, dis-content, were giving me long wakeful nights and anxious, fretted days. "We have raised three children in a city apartment, Amanda is now 17, the boys 19 and 9. For long summers sum-mers and many weekends we took them to a mountain cabin, where they could have swimming, fishing and hospitality. That hospitality! It doubled my bills, of coarse, but it meant that the children could return re-turn winter favors, theaters, dances, skating parties. We have beds for 14 at the lake, and all summer long they were never empty. I struggled lo keep up; Amanda's clothes must be fresh and smart; Jack needed tennis rackets and college fees; it was top much for John and me, yet It wasn't enough. "One car wasn't enough, Jack said. One sitting room wasn't enough for Amanda. I talked of a ob, but couldn't be spared at home. Amanda talked of Hollywood, but as a minor couldn't try that. It was an impasse, with John and me rolling roll-ing away one stone, only to have another block our path. Disaster Struck. "Then, when meat and butter were at their maximum, little Jimmy Jim-my quarantined with mumps and Amanda desperate because she was not included in a certain dancing class, the blow fell. John was brought home helpless, never to be Bt for work downtown again, and or a few weeks we were shipwrecked ship-wrecked indeed. Jack was offered his father's job as salesman in a linoleum firm and accepted it bitterly, bit-terly, 'only for vacation.' But he bas had to keep it; his college days are over for the present. "I took a job in a hotel, making beds, for $160 a month, and well, we ate. The children were so outraged out-raged that they hardly spoke when at home, but we didn't die. Amanda cried for days, then she got ashamed and rose to the situation, calmly announced that she was quitting quit-ting school, and took over at home. We were more than three thousand dollars In debt, and I showed her lust where the money had gone. Her comment was made gravely, 'I think you and Dad were to blame. We kids aren't half-wits.' "Last October I moved us out to the country; no, not the smart country, coun-try, not the lake ei&er. The lake cabin is rented. Amanda teaches in ft private school five days a week, boards in town with an oler teacher, teach-er, comes to us Fridays. Jimmy goes to public school and loves it. lack is doing nearly as well as his lather ever did, and we'll be out of debt in exactly 23 more months if all goes well. Amanda has boy friends; boys who work hard and know the value of money. John is quietly busy all day with vegetables, vegeta-bles, chickens, cat, dog, flowers, plans. I am happier than I have ever been in my life. Our place was an abandoned farm. It will never make money. But it pays taxes and insurance and the children bring in more than the little we need here. 'Went Through the Fire.' "We went through a terrible time, when we had to endure our children's chil-dren's bitter disappointment and suffering, when we had to act in a way that seemed to them nothing short of cruel. I had to make decisions de-cisions that even to John seemed too sweeping. Sweeping! That's the word. I had to sweep pride aside, sweep away pretense and show. I had to let our friends know that we were ruined, . that we could not do for our children what luckier parents could do. We went through the fire, and it was worth it. The whole thing, to me, was worthwhile when I knew, not at first, but after a while, that my children had heroic stuff in them, that they had common com-mon sense, that down in them was affection and loyalty to their father and me. "The private schools, the tennis rackets and college frats and smart cotillions can be swept away. These things leave no mark on their lives, except perhaps to weaken and spoil them. But to face the ultimate questions of food and shelter and learn what they are worth, that is a lesson they never will forget" I agree entirely with Mrs. John Porter. We don't have to manufacture manufac-ture difficulties and sacrifices for our children, but if honor demands them, surely we are wronging those children by refusing them their share of the great battle that is life today. And by honor I mean the paying of bills, the facing of responsibilities, respon-sibilities, the adjustment of family burdens so that one person does not carry the whole load. Perhaps Mrs. Porter is pessimistic pessi-mistic in prophesying that hard times are ahead for many of us. But a good many wise voices are reminding us that these are good years in which to harden the youngsters young-sters of the family to reality. This should not be done by fretful and sporadic complaint about this extravagance ex-travagance or that demand, but by a rational and serious discussion discus-sion of present assets and future liabilities. If it proves unnecessary, unneces-sary, at least it will do no harm. And if yours is a family still insecure in-secure as to its financial, social and provisional outlook, it may do great good. "I mm happier than I bav ever been." |