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Show The flu bug wiped out the NEWS office crew this week, so there's no "Between You and Me". However, we though our readers would enjoy this column bySentinel Sal in the Goldendale, Wash. Sentinel. So I said to the editor, "Good night, what will they think of next in recycling. This has to be the ultimate." "What are you reading?" he asks. "Monday's Oregonlan. It j says that British scientists ! are feeding cattle yester- ! day's news. Researchers at j a university in England are ! soaking old newspapers in ! water and treating them with some kind of fungus and it's considered wholesome and nutritional when mixed with other feed." "Personally," he replies -"that offends me a little. When I write a stirring editorial, ed-itorial, I don't really have in mind producing it so some cow in the pasture can get fat on it. I had In mind that I was writing food for thought, not thought for food." products that would be lying around the pasture as potential poten-tial ' Letters to the Editor They'd look like papier-mache papier-mache frisbees." j "Watch your language j mere," he admonishes, "this is a family newspaper j intended for family con- j sumption." 'f And now for cow con- sumption," I add. "I suppose we should start running a horoscope for the benefit of the 'cow (hat jumps over the moon. And stock market reports re-ports when they're bullish." "I suppose it does make sense," he ignores me. Paper Pa-per is a by-product of trees in the form of cellulose. We also eat cellulose, as ifs the covering of seeds, and we eat it such as in the form of bran." "Yes, but we don't mix it with a fungus. What kind of fungus? Do you suppose U they feed a cow the sportf page they'd mix it with ath. lete's foot?" "You're making my stomach stom-ach roll over. Thisisaper-, Thisisaper-, fectly logical scientific adventure ad-venture and you have to mess it up with nutty possibilities I do wonder, though, about what happens to the ink. Ifs full of carbons." "Maybe that's why there are so many Black Angus nowdays. Maybe they're really Charolais full of black ink. And Brahma bulls might really just be run -of -the -mill bulls full of India ink." H e disregards these little asides, and reflects, "I wonder won-der if the meat is any more tender on paper -fed cattle." - "IH bet you can cut It with scissors. What if next they discover they can feed ground-up newspapers to people as well as cattle? Some mornings when you get up and look out and see it's raining for the fifth straight day, maybe I could feed you cereal mixed with the Sunny-side Sunny-side Sun." "You're going to extremes" ex-tremes" he grumbles. "And when you're lazy and won't do anything around the house to help, I would feed you scrambled eggs mixed with Enterprise. It might improve your Outlook." "Look, I have painfully noticed one thing. When we have these perfectly private conversations which you instantly in-stantly make public, you give yourself all the good lines. It's a chronic illness of yours. How come I never get any of them?" "Oh, never mind, and eat your hash." "Hash again? Wehadhash last night." "So ifs rehash. Ifs recycling re-cycling the recycled hash which was made from your editorials in the Goldendale Sentinel." "You mean, you're making the editor eat his own . words?" he said with horror. I thought I'd give him a good line, finally. It doesn't seen; like too much to ask. |