| OCR Text |
Show PAGE FOUR WEBER HERALD tlmutn, iRau! Why not go to JERRY'S The place where you can get good CANDIES B. F. THOMAS PRINTER 2476 Was. .Ave., Phone 147j J. S. Lewis Co. Jewelers qtj hit; r- Lxlass Kings Continuous Business Since 1849 Crown Painless Dentists 2468 WASHINGTON AVE. Between 24th and 25th (East Side Street) LET US REPAIR YOUR BROKEN GLASS Griffin Paint Company 2310 Washington Ave. Call at The Lighthouse For Anything Electrical Phone 581 2454 Wash Ave. Come early April 9th and get a good seat. "Safety First." "Lightning always strikes the highest point." Rattoe. LEST YOU FORGET Right Off the Bat "There is a use for everything in this world." "So! Well, tell me the use of a jealous wife." "Certainly! If there were no jealous wives, how do you suppose homely stenographers would get jobs?" San Francisco Chronicle. Jack "You remind me of a hinge.' She "How so?" Jack "You are something to adore." Bush "How would you like a pet monkey?" Georgia "Oh, dear, this is so sudden."It used to be "54-50 or fight now its 75-80 or flunk. Glee Club Motto B natural; B sharp; but never B flat. His Device Ken "I'll take those pictures, if they are done." Photographer Yes, sir. You understand, of course, that we do not deliver pictures until they are paid for." "What? Why, when I sat for them you told me I might pay whenever I choose?' "Yes; but that was merely to make you look pleasant." FOR. nSHOB See Terrible Terry thrown well April 9th. "Now, George," said the father, who was famous for ' being close-fisted, "I want to give you a piece of advice." "What's the matter with it, father?' The Judge "You were found under the bed with a bag of tools. An' excuse?" The' Prisoner "Force of habit, yer worship, I've been a motorist?" Lemon "Do you see that woman passing. Ah. I owe a great deal to her." Ken "Sort of a guiding spirit, eh?" Leomn "No, she's my landlady." Once there was a Senior, Going down to town, But he lost his dignity, Stumbled and fell down. Marjory is so pretty, "Marjory is" says Fat, But when you go to kiss her, She scratches like a cat. Daisy and Vilace going for a ride Daisy and Dewane sitting side by side Daisy and Fat now have lost their pride, Daisy and tide." Ross soon will "stem the Jack "How do you manage to keep soused these days?" Dox "'S-zeasy! I got a job in-spectin' gas meters in private homes.' HOLDEN ADDRESSES STUDENTS Prof. P. G. Holden, director of the Agricultural Extension Department of theInternational Harvester Company, was the speaker at the Chapel exercises Tuesday, March 23. Prof. Holden is one of America's most renowned educators and is at present traveling throughout the country speaking on education subjects. Weber was especially honored in having such a man as speaker during the drive for better education. Prof. Holden is an efficient speaker and especially appeals to the souls of the young students for, as Theodore Roosevelt said: "If you are going to do anything permanent for the average young man, you must begin before he is a man. The chance for success lies in working with the boy." Quotations from Prof. Holden's talk: "Keep your own standards." "As a man thinketh, so is he." "No, I am there to see myself stealing.' "Stop, read just your compass and point your course for the following day." "Do- not deceive yourself, make yourself mind you." "This day too, will beat my own record." "Gee, but it is crowded on this horse's back. If one of us would get off don't you think I could ride better?"FROM $7.50 to $12.50 A PAIR Clara's 2358 Washington Avenue See Iris Taylor dance the Sh Sh-Sh (O now quit) April 9th. Heavy lies the head that wears a $10 hat. Bill ;"Have you ever done any public speaking?" Sunkist "I once proposed to a girl over the telephone in my home town.' Some Girls! Now I hate girls as you all know, But still I've got to say That of all girls, the Sophomore girls Are the prettiest any day. And they don't talk half so much They've got more sense than other girls And they don't cut up like baby vamps And roll their eyes and such. But I guess I'd better stop right here Or a swelled up head they'll get But at the same time I'll tell the world I haven't seen better girs yet. Alma Leishman, The Woman Hater. The Marriage Cycle Before he was married We called him a dude, But now that he's wed, why, He's only subdued. Cornell Widow. Velma II. What is the shape of a kiss ? Bob W. I don't know. V. II. Give me one and we'll call it square. Your personal appearance is going to have much to do with your success in life. It is our business to advise and Help you succeed in this respect. The- CfpCKEFy People- Only Pure Creamery Butter Used Butter Kissed Popcorn Always Fresh A young fellow who was on a jaunt West fell into hard luck and had to pawn one of his suits. Just before starting for home he managed to get it out again. When he reached home his mother, while unpacking his trunk, came across his coat with the pawnbroker's tag on it. "John," she inquired, "what is this tag on your coat?" John, not wishing her to know of ins temporary embarrassment, said, "Oh, I was at a dance and checked my coat." .' Soon she came across the trousers with the same kind of a tag on them. "John," she demanded, "what kind of a dance was that?" My mother says I mustn't smoke, I don't! Nor listen to a naughty joke, I don't! She says its wrong for me to wink At handsome women, or Even think about intoxicating drink! I don't! To flirt and dance are very wrong, I don't! Wild men chase women, wine and song, I don't! I don't kiss girls or even one, In fact, I don't know how its done, You wouldn't think I had much fun! I don't! Judge. "Where's Tricotine?" asked Georgette. . "Gone upstairs to get a few puffs." "What does that mean 'cigarettes or false hair?" He Had to Confess Hostess (to little Lemon, who is just leaving the' party) Won't you have an orange, Lemon? Lemon No, thank you. I could not eat any more. Hostess Well, put one in your pocket. Lemon (with considerable hesitation) I I can't. They're full already.Cliff "I visited a very hospitable man last night." Jack "Yes?" Cliff "We hadn't been in his house more than ten mjnutes before he turned his thumb down." Jack "What did that signify?" Cliff "A visit to his cellar." Hear the two biggest liars on earth April 9th. rtgljfa MEN'S SECTION 419 1-2 25th Street Lessee, Soda Fountain and Candy Department at Wrights. Also Owner Alhambra Candy Shop Frank Sojourner Fine Home Made Candies OGDEN, UTAH. Lady F'riend No, Archie, I cannot marry you. The man who marries me must be a grand man, upright and square. Sessions You want a piano, not a husband. He (ferverently) A kiss is the language of love. She (impatiently) Well, why don't you say something? 1st Fresh Are you going to the danc tonight? 2nd Fresh Nope, what size shirt do you wear? Angry Customer "Waiter, there's a spider in this ice cream." Walter "Serves him right; Let' him freeze to death, he was in the soup yesterday." CHERCHEZ L'HOMME Daughter "Oh father how grand it is to be alive. The world is too good for anything! Why isn't every one happy?" Father "Who is he this time?" Pessimism Giggles, gee gaws, girt of gab Innate tendency to "blab" Rats and puffs and rouge and guile, Love of self and love of style, Straight from "jackets," borrowed curls, Suffrage seeking, modern girls! Jack O'Lantern. The Adult He (at the box office "Have you a seat left?" She (indicating number and position of seat "Yes sir, U 21?" He "I am, miss, and if the show's like that I'm glad I didn't ask the mater to come." Bystander. Slow Co-ed Oh, George, you tickle me! K. George Aw, you tickle me first! "Do you know that I feel like 30 cents?" said lie. "Well, well, everything has gone up since the war." J |
