Show Ul IGmE NOT HIS FAULT once there was a young earl with barrels of money and not knowing what to do with it she consulted a wise man he lived all alone in a tent he had built for the purpose leading a simple life when the young girl s case was pre dented to him he said there are three things that you can do first you can be an old maid and devote yourself to charity second marry the man of your heart third marry a nobleman so the young girl went away and pondered and while she as pondering a young fellow came along he was poor but handsome with broad shoulders and so forth and she fell in love with him and married him but after they had been married a little while he grew suddenly gant and would probably have sequan dered all her money had he not been killed by dissipation then the young girl married a nobleman and after they had been alv ing together tor several years he as Is the nature of all true noblemen began to abuse her at last not be ing able to stand it any longer she secured a permanent divorce then she went back to the wise man oh wise man she said your ad vice has been very disastrous what have ou to say tor yourself it was your fault said the wise man because you dlan t follow it what do you mean I 1 then the wise man laughed heart lly don t you see he replied now that it Is too late that you began on the wrong end first judge GIVING HIM encouragement do you think your father would hurt me it I 1 was to ask him for sou hardly but there s no telling what he will do it you don t say something pretty soon cutting out losses Is bridge still popular mrs gambled yes air thrifty it Is with me I 1 play every evening for stakes 9 for high stakes it must be an expensive pleasure no one evening I 1 win and the next time I 1 lose well why dont you play every other evening 9 nothing new miss this Is my twenty third birthday alsa pert miss I 1 say this Is my awen ty third birthday dlan t you know it miss pert well I 1 declare I 1 dlan t it has aged terribly since I 1 first saw it A peacemaker youre a liar exclaimed the first man you re another retorted number two calm yourselves gentlemen inter posed the peacemaker it Is quite possible that you are both right just in time policeman I 1 just called to say that your dog license had expired mrs sniff so has the dog he died this morning HER CANDID OPINION do auber how do ou like my landscape do you think I 1 can am prove it any miss cutting you might try you cant male it any worse TWO MILES A MINUTE W leonard 11 robbana in jersey jingles S H E WAS INNOCENT mrs brondon you appear pleased my dear mrs woodson indeed I 1 am you know whiled I 1 was away henry went fishing and the neighbors said he came home with a beautiful skate mrs bronson and Is that why you are so pleased 9 mrs woodson certainly my dear I 1 looked in the encyclopedia and found out that a skate Is a large fish giving himself away sh never knew he was only a waiter tor he had basely told her he was a gentleman of independent means one hot day they were sit ting in hyde park he felt very drowsy she felt very loving john she whispered do you lovo mea eh opening his eyes of course I 1 do darting and again his eyes closed how mucha she asked and he dreamily said roas beef shilling sir baters tup pence cabbage sir bread penny halt stout one an ten please sir royal magazine A great favorite farmer benkover Ben tover I 1 understand that neighbor Stack polea nephew here from the city Is a wonderful en young farmer hornbeak that pears to be the general impression it seems that one time when he was sick he had his tonsils cut out or of the sort and now when he sings you can t tell it from a phonograph scrap in s and all they just have him on the go the hull time from one church festival to another and from eoala ble to party till it s said be s most worn out by the continual round of dissipation not to mention riotous puck THE RISING generation master you want large wages fot a boy who s had no experience boy well aint it harder for me when I 1 dont know how london opinion the reason man didactically began prof broadhead Is the only animal that laughs eh yah I 1 broke in the venerable grouch and bauz he ts the only animal that owes money to an other animal and la therefore obliged to laugh whenever the latter animal gets off his favorite tunny story puck publicity V e don t hear so much about graft in public matters as we did re marked the citizen I 1 regard that as a very favorable condition it Is a favorable condition replied senator wadd those matters were becoming altogether too public for a spell puck the modern education 1 I should never have thought that studying would have cost BO much money yes father and if you only knew how little I 1 have studied judge |