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Show uMt o 3hJmkd about Deporting Alien Criminals. SANTA MONICA, CALIF. Wouldn't it be lovely if the other states, not to mention the federal government, followed fol-lowed the example set by the governor of New York? He commutes the sentences of foreign-born, long-term convicts so they may be eligible for parole not mind you, to go free and sin some more, but to be turned over to the port authorities for immediate deportation. de-portation. That is, it would be a lovely idea if only we could b e sure that these same criminals wouldn't come slipping back Irvin g Cobb, in again. The present pres-ent immigration law was devised as a barrier to protect decent citizens, cit-izens, both native and naturalized, against the human scum of the old world, but it appears to be more like a sieve if we may judge by the hordes of nondesirable aliens who somehow manage to get In and stay in and even go on relief, some of them. In other words, when we give these unpleasant parties a complimentary compli-mentary ride back where they come from, let's make sure it's not going to be a round trip. Missionaries From China. FROM Peiping a group of believers believ-ers in the. doctrine of Confucius are sending missionaries to the United States. We've been sending out missionaries to their country for centuries, but that Chinamen should dare to try the same thing on us well, that's a white horse of a yellow color. What if, not content with seeking converts, these interlopers inculcated inculcat-ed among us certain phases of their heathenish philosophy, such as teaching young people consideration and respect for their elders; and showing that rushing about in a frenzy does not necessarily indicate business energy; and that the natural natur-al aim of man is not always to worship speed and up to thirty-odd thirty-odd thousands a year to die by it; and that intolerance as between religious re-ligious creeds isn't invariably proof of true piety; and that minding one's own affairs is really quite an admirable trait? Why, native Americans wouldn't be able to recognize the old home-place home-place any more! Such threats against a superior civilization are not to be borne. Vanished Americans. TT'S exciting to prowl among the A ruined cities of the first Americans, Ameri-cans, who scattered into the twilights twi-lights of antiquity when the Christian Chris-tian era was still young. They were our oldest families, older even than old Southern families and who ever heard of a new Southern family or even just a middle-aged Southern family? But afterwards, it's confusing' to read the theories of the expert researchers re-searchers who have passed judgment judg-ment on those vanished cliff-dwelling peoples, because few such learned gentlemen agree on any single point. There is one very eminent emi-nent authority who invariably insists in-sists that all the rest of the emi-n emi-n e n t authorities are absolutely wrong about everything. He is the Mr. Justice McReynolds of the ar-cheologists. ar-cheologists. After reading some of the conflicting conflict-ing literature on this subject, I've decided that a true scientist is one who is positive there are no other true scientists. Unemployment Statistics. 'Tp HANKS to bright young bureau-A bureau-A crats in Washington, we know how many goldfish are hatched every ev-ery year and what the gross annual yield of guinea pigs is, and the exact proportion of albinos born in any given period, but it never seemed to occur to anybody to compile reasonably accurate statistics on unemployment. un-employment. Yet, with depression behind us and business up to boom-time levels its estimated that between eight and nine million people are out of work, not counting those on strike and judging by the papers there must be a couple of million of them Apparently the more prosperous we grow on the surface, toe more deplorable de-plorable becomes the status of those off the payrolls. It doesn't make sense. Or anyhow there was a time when it wouldn't have made sense. This curious situation puts a fel-!fW fel-!fW ind f the old old story of the chap whose wife had nn operation, and, every day when he called at the hospital, he was told the patient showed improvement. One morning, as he came away weeping, he met a friend How's the wife?" iriquil.cd "She's dead." vvnm did she die of" Improvements," s;d the widow- IKVIN S. COBH -WNU Servico. |