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Show Seen Heard z- KEEPING HIS MOUTH SHUT is the one, of man's many activities activi-ties that causes him the least regret, re-gret, declares Dad Gunimit. And he adds that when a lawyer shouts "I object!" the chances are the witness was about to admit a truth. 4 Tip to Husbands When arguing with your wife, be certain that you're right . . . then keep it to yourself. Hunter Do you mean to tell me that you have lived 'way out here in the sticks for 30 years? Old-Timer I have. Hunter But I don't see what you can find Jo keep you busy. Old-Timer Neither can I. That's why I like it. A man down in Colorado got a $50 fine for hugging a girl. He got off lucky. Most men get a life sentence for that. 1 Maybe you can't say much for modern radio programs, but at least the radio can drive unwelcome unwel-come guests from the house. Definition REPUBLICAN Statesman out of a job. Sound has a definite effect on the stomach. And we agree with the South Tacoma Star that some radio programs make us sick, too. 1 When Percy Whiffletree goes hunting he always takes ginger ale along. He likes a chaser after every shot. "Oh, yes; I married a man in the village fire department." "A volunteer?" "No, Pa made him." 4 Teacher (pointing to a deer at the zoo): "Johnny, what is that?" Johnny: "I don't know." Teacher: "What does your mo- ii n o Liiei Ccui yuui miner : Johnny: "Don't tell me that's a louse!" In the modern electrically-equipped electrically-equipped home virtually everything every-thing is controlled by switches except the children, it has been noted by Clark Empey, local electrician. 4 "What do all these zeroes . on your report card mean?" demanded the stern parent. "Nothing," truthfully replied his offspring. Definition SCOTCHMAN A man who has two hats; one for the month after he gets a haircut and another for the two months before. 4 A parson, walking along the street, was attracted by some very strong and colorful language close by. Turning, he observed a man having difficulty in slipping the rim of his spare tire on the wheel. "My good man", he said, "That kind of language won't help you. When you are in trouble, you should ask the Lord to help you. "Well," replied the angry driver, "I've tried everything else to I might as well try that". So saying say-ing he bowed his head for a moment, mom-ent, then raised up, took the rim and slid it smoothly and easily on the wheel. The parson looked, scratched his head. "Well, I'll be damned", he said. |