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Show LPhillipr LPhilliprDRAFT DRAFT DIlAF1 " MAKKB MAKES MAJOR &LUOB LUOB & MUTAIUS UlSTAKB MISTAJUI UlSTAKBThe MISTAJUIThe MUTAIUSThe The draft army anny turned dowo down dow a aNew aNew aNew New York taxicab taxloab driver iiniver 1e the tb * other otherday otherday othrday * day This must mu.t mut . show that h It doesn doean t tthink tthink tthink think there la a Is any aD7 immediate need needfor needtot needfor for tot fighting fightlnlr men In the armyIn army . . . In tl this s case the taxi driver was wasturned wasturned wasturned turned down because be he didn't didnt ' pass passa a 100 per cent eye test . . Imagine Imaginethat Imaginethat Imaginethati that ! ! Why everybody knows from fromexperience fromexperience fromexperience experience that a New York taximan taxi taximan taximan man is II dangerous under all aU condi condl concH- concH conditions concHlions . - tions lions and twlc twice as much mucb of a threatto threat threatto threatto to friend or toe foe if I.f . he be can t see seeFor . . . For that matter mattel : ' , . imagine a taxidriver taxi taxidriver taxidriver driver being bein , turned down by thearmy the thearmy thearmy army for any reason reasoni reasoniA I ! . . . A taxi driver , . particularly a bigcity bl big bigcity . cJty city one , . la Is . the country's countrys countI'7's countI7s ' ' best be.t bet . betIn bet betIn betin In any war He lie could even be Amerlea Amer AmerIca Amerlea Ica lea s I . mystery my.tel7 mytel7 . weapon . , " " if I.f . aiven given aivenany givenany givenany any encouragement encouraaement . . . . . If I was with an enemy arm7 army army"declared armydeclared : , . " ' declared Elmer TwitcheU TwltcheU Twitchell today todayand todayand todayand and I had ha41 to choose between amess a amess mess with an average regiment and andone andone andone one New York taxi driver I would woulddodge woulddodge , dodae dodge the cabbie and take on the theregiment theregiment ! regiment ' . I . . . regimentEvery I IEvery Ivery Every time Urn * I think of the medl mcdi medlI medlcal mcdical medlcal I cal experts turning down these cab cab- cabbies cabbies cabbies - - bies it makes me lOr sore . . , * ' continued continuedElmer continuedEisner continuedElmer Elmer Eisner Eisnerri ' - "Taxi Taxi 'Taxi -ri ri " drivers driver . are the only onlygroup onlygroup onlygroup group In American Arnen1can life Ute who need no notra1n1na notraining notraining tra1n1na training to put1p put \ Uf \1p 1p tip a fight tight . . They are arein arein areto in constant training"I training . . . ' " that Uncle UncleSam UncleSam UncleSam "I I "I I " read in the papers Sam la is . short of tanks tanka Tanks are arean arean arean an urgent need cited In medem modern modem war warOkay warOkay warOkay Okay , . but what can a tank de do e that thata a modern modem bl big . city taxi pilot and andhis andhis an.hia anhia * . his cab can t do . If U h it a necessary neceasary ? . . . . "What What 'Wbat Wbat " " ' la II is the chief advantage of a atank atank atank tank ? It is its it * ability ablUt ) ' to get let acrosl across acrossany acrossany 11117 any kind of terrain . , , regardless reeardless of ofob.tscles ofobstacles efobstacles ob.tscles obtscles obstacles . . , and act as If It didn t tknow tknow tknow know they the ) ' were wer . there Am I rightOf right ? ? 01 Of course cours . I am And ain't aint ' thatwhere that thatwhere thatwhere where a New York taxicab fills fllls thebill the thebiU thebill biU bill 100 per cent cenn ? " . . . Elmer EImer waa was quit quite * agitated Thearmy The Thearmy Thearmy army not only should v ve vu welcomedthis welcomed welcomedU welcomedthis U this . driver regardless regardleu of tb the * facthe fact tact factbe tacthe be he wore glasses alasges but should have bave admitted ad admUted adenltted mUted enltted bis his CABI C.B CB CAll . I he be Insisted instated pounding pound poundina poundtog ina tog the table . . . If I was of draft age and had to toget toget get into a war nothing would make makeme makeme mak makme me feel safer than Ulan It If I knew a aflock aflock aflock flock of taxis were advancing abead ahead abeadof aheadof aheadof of me They would scare the hell hellout hellOut hellout out of any foe on earth earth , , and that thatgoes thatgoes thatgoes goes tor for Hitler Wtler , . Goering Gcerine and Goeb- Goeb Goebbeta Goebbela Goeb-bels Goeb bels - - - beta bela . . . A mere mer announcement that thatAmerica thatAmerica thatAmerica America was recruiting recru1t1ne a division divisionof divisionof 01 of cab drivers driver . would bring brine a peace peacemovement peacemovement peacemovement movement at once once , . , , and I don t .ee ee see seewhy . seewhy .eewh7 wh7 why Rooseveltdon Roosevelt don appreciate tsppreciate t It It . . . . . uPleeae "Please Please "Ple Ple " e . , Mr I4r Roosevelt R4IOsevelt . , , rescind rescindthat rescindthat rescindthat that ban aa en on that nearsighted nearailbted New NewYork NewYork NewYork York taxi Pn.t Pnt pilot . Uot . , threw throw down aown the thegates tturgat gates tN to all aU p.11 p11 . taxi bud rivers drivers an4 and then thenlet thenlet the thelet let Europe Europ8 get Itrt the kformatlon information that thatthe thatthey thattkey the they ) ' are ar * to be " eur stir drst first ar t line ef .1 1 . t at at- attask at-to at to , . - - tack task k and J aefense defense . , loRd and d you 10U will cet get cetpeace getpeac getpeace peace peac . to In DO time Urne . . " . . . TO 1'0 10 ' TnX 'I'DE IDE THE ' OIlEEKS OREEKS OIlEEKSM7 OREEKSMy ORECKJMy M7 My bonnet bonDet Ie is . off to the Greek- Greek Greeks- Greeks Greek1be7 GreeksThey Greek . - * - They 1be7 ' . scorBe4 .comed comed scorned hig big . machines machlnu er I or ' a"plan a a"plan "plan plan " p1an . . . " . Ao4 And showeJ showed to a badly scared 8Cared world worldThere worldThere bent There ' ! . still .till till can bo be fights 1ta man toman toman to toman manOne manOne man manOne One terrible stiff .titr titr . kick in the pants pantsThey pantsThey pantsi They , give Ive to the th law 'MIghtmakes 'Mightmakes ' ' Ilight 'MIght MIght Ilightmakes makes right rightAnd , , And flashed ash d to a darkenln darkening < worldA world worldA A steadying rallying rallyln , light lightI . . . . | DUCHESS DUCIIESS TOOTH WEEK : ' Miami and Miami Beach have had hadmany hadmany hadmany many curk curi curious Jl.Is JlIs < > . us b backgrounds lckgrounds for the theI theformal theformal theformal formal opening of the winter seasonbut season seasonbut seasonbut but this is the first time tt It s allbeen all allbeen allbeen I been done donf . > ar lr i l nd an Infected tooth toothThe . . . I The bithrg b'lth blth bith ' r I e g beauties and MissAmerlcai MIss MIssI MIssAmericas MissAmericas I Americas up n wt wi om M ami Beachhai B Beach Beachhas ach achhas has so long depended for ( or publicityvia publicity publicityvia publicityvia I publicityI via press and newsrcels newsreels are in astate a aI astate astate I state of hich high Indignation The art art- artist art1st art1st - - ist 1st s 5 . models have become the Forgotton For Forgotten Forgotten gotten Mann kins klns A shapely leg adimpled a adlmplf'd adimpled dlmplf'd dlmplfd dimpled ' knee and the public striphave strip striphave striphave have tor for the first rst timo time gono gone Into Intothe intothe Intothe the discard bellev believe it or not The Thetooth Thetooth Thetooth tooth la Is the thing ! . . . No leg ev ever r d d as much for forMiami forMiami forMiami Miami and Miami Beachas Beach as WaUy Wally s a sJaw ajaw sjaw Jaw is III doing dolni this lI season- season seasonHERO ason . - . . . . HERO FOR 1940 1940Here 1940Here 1 4 4Here Here s II a to Billy Friescll Frlesell Friesell FriescllA FrlesellA FriesellA A . wond wondrman wonderman rman ao 80 so strong strongThat strongThat strongThat That he can make an ah errorAnd errorAnd error errorAnd And frankly say I m wrongPolice wrong . . * . Police Pollee Commissioner Commlssionpr Valentine ot of otNew ofNew ofNew New York is completing plans to totnobllize tomobilize tomobilize tnobllize mobilize 18500 1C 18 500 policemen tor for emer emer- eme emergency emergency - gency defense Everything wjl wjU wjll ) be beokay beokay beokay okay up lo to the time some df etetenso etetensogeneral defensegeneral . > f-nse f nse fnseleneral ; - leneral general asks a cop how to reach reacha a . certain destlna destinationBut destination destinationB tlOn tlOnBot Bot But B t we wlj wooJd would kale hate to be te In a war warand warand warid and have ha.v hav . * to look for a . poUoem.aa poUoemaa pofloema.a pofloemaa oUcemajL . . . |