Show Co of the union vedette THE SERIOUS MAN GROWS INDIGNANT YIA YEA I 1 THE SERIOUS IIAN 1 editor vedette Fe dette tho the serious man is indignant the serious man alan hath been deeply injured in his finest sensibilities he raboth and like rachel mourning for her young goeth about the streets and will not be comforted the serious man alan mabeth this as his complaint as follows to wit videlicet videl icet ile he prides himself on his classics like mark antony Q caesar esar was my friend the ascii ous man alan was cousars Csc Coo sars schoolmate his companion his pal his chicken ile he sleeps each night with cassara Cas sars commentaries under his pillow dreams of the mighty warrior and expects to go to casar when he dies how deep was his chagrin then how sincere his woe how terrific his ire when he read in your salutatory last week this attempted quotation from the great demosthenes we appeal from caesar drunk to caesar sober sir demosthenes never said so demosthenes from ni whom bom you attempt to quote lived leng long before C caesar el wriggled in his swaddling c clothes 0 thes demos demosthenes the did say ho he appealed from philip drunk to philip sober but unfortunately he be could never catch the macedonian cove in the latter condition hence the appeal has been dismissed you have tampered with the classics you have outraged demosthenes you have slandered caesar and the serious man alan will not stay his irate pen while he tells you about it first to correct your imperfect classics secondly to vindicate caesar philip of macedon loved his tod like his illustrious son alexander ho be would get tight philip was a 1 brick and often carried another in his hat but cassar yo ye gods and little fishes caesar wasa was a temperance ans cuss and yet you dare talk of caesar drunk ile he loved cold water in fact he passionately doted on that cordial of the gods does not history tell us that he wis was tempera tein all things save ambition does not the famous orator rehearsed so oft in our school boy days say that consar paused upon the brink of the rubicon IV why by paused there t yea mr editor why paused cassar on the brink of the little rivulet outside of rome what is the inevitable deduction from that pauso pause unless it bo be that he stopped to take a drink of its pule waters ero ere he upon the liberties of liis his country though trough he was in a hurry burry to get to rome but not content with taking his temperance from the rubicon so great was his love of cold water the orator proceeds he plu plunged ned he crossed and rome was flee no more mr editor he got wet but history does not record that like one of your captains who plunged into bear river he took a stiff horn of whisky for 1 dimeis or any aily other reasons but it remained for you mr editor to thus violate the classics tamper with demosthenes excuse that tipsy rowdy philip and slander caesar As I 1 caesare caesars Cae Coo sars friend I 1 come not bore to talk but vindicate his fame the matter I 1 did not hamlet say 11 imperious caesar dead and turned to clay might stop a hole to keep the wind away 0 that the earth living so full of spunk should now hes dead be slandered as a drunk or words to that effect indignantly tho the SERIOUS MAN though we seldom drink we acknowledge the corn wo we apologise apologize apol ogise not to the serious man he talks in parables and we constantly look at th the 0 bottom of his manuscript to find mr wards explanatory plan atory note this is a boak wo we are at a loss nv when hen the serious man speaks whether to laugh or cry we never can see the wit of his good things and he explains that one cant be expected to see the point of a joke when he is the butt of it that maybe may be so but wo we still think the serious man is stupid d stupid St still illiNe w e apologise apologize apol ogise to the manes of the great cossar wo we have wronged him more than did even ills his other friend antony A slip of the pen a lapse of made us misquote to demosthenes tho the serious mari man is ia right right philip was the chap who got drunk and nor r heard the appeal because ho he never got sober we might have known that for philip was a greek and loved ilish whisky but our classics aro are getting rusty and we thank the seii S ell ous olla man alan for brushing us up lip a attle though he be might have done don 0 it just a little moro more delicately |