Show FAI alti wo I 1 ar wish adt 0 ama ada the new fable of the night given over to careless revelry all those who had dono done time at a certain endowed institution for or shaping and polishing highbrows highbrown High brows had to close ta in once onca a year tor for ft a banquet they called it ita a banquet because it would hayo b been 0 an a joko joke to call it a dinner tho the invitations looked like real typewriting type writing and called upon all loyal sons of 0 old Bo hunkus to dig up 3 Sest erces and got get ready for a dig big night to insure a riot of spontaneous gaiety tho the following organization was waa effected committee on invitation committee on reception committee on lights and music committee on speakers committee on decorations committee on police protection committee on first aid to injured committee on macnow committee on liquid nourishment each committee hold held numerous meetings at tho the call of tho the Chain chairman nan tand and discussed tho the impending Fea tivi flies with that solemn regard for piffling riffling piff ling detail which marked tho the peace conference at the hague the frolic was to be perpetrated at a hotel clotel famous for tho the number of elec trie ario lights the hour was waa to be 6 30 sharp so BO that by four old grade grada with variegated rie gated were ero massed together in the egyptian room trying to fix tho the date on which dr milos lobs qu quonset osset became emeritus professor ot of Garace nic Ph phlebotomy lobotomy along about a sub subcommittee committee tw wearing earing satin badges was sent downstairs to round up sonic recent alumni who were trying to get a running start and 7 45 a second detachment was wag seat bent out to find tho rescue party finally at 8 the glad throng moved into the main banquet nall hall 1 which was aenus a snug apartment about tho the elzo ot of the Alani mammoth moth cavo cave of keni coni tucky done in gold and various shades t ut of pink to approximate tho the chambermaids chambermaid a dream of paradise the stylo style of 0 ornamentation was waa that which precipitated tho the french revolution beside each plate was a blonde decoction named in honor of the tha alart martini tint Iti kihe which la is guaranteed to kill at a distance of 2000 yards the corn com pounding had bad been done in a churn 1 early that morning and tho the temperature was that of the room in compliance with the dictates of fashion those who partook of the hemlock Ifer alock were given courage to battle with tho the oysters these came in Sex a slight ptomaine pallor on the they had said good jaye yo to their friends in baltimore and i hor or hours they had bad been lying naked nailed md ind choked with thirst in their little 3 agoes and now they were to enter the j rest reat unknown further sacrifices to I 1 he be votaries Vot aries of pleasure I 1 I 1 luckily the consomme Con somma was not hot dough nough to scald tho the thumbs of tho the iviah civial stevedores who had bad been brought I 1 as extras so the feast proceeded eerily er err rily lly many of tho the participants de aing their spare moments to bobbing r olives Olive sor or pulling the twine out of j a 0 celery the fish had a french name hav 1 g beenen been in the cold storage basallo r aso so long each portion wore a heavy lt 11 of armor was surrounded by lt LI ary pasto paste and served as aa a tee tor for 0 golf balls billed ca an do are lit was a regular bari banquet so thero there a no retting getting away from filet do t aux champignons it was brought to show what an american ik k with a lumber camp training id do to a plain slice ot of steer after ding a book written by a chef dext ext in accordance with honored a halt half melted snowball im A i with eau do quinine let about tho the time that the white i gar gave gae way to tho the aniline dye ut headed Sw ozzle ozzie who could get matt Matte awan without credentials i down led ed down tho the line of distinguished its asking for autographs his a mple aple was followed by other pa bires so that for the next 30 lies the festal chamber resembled sj auditing department of a largo large 1 cantile establishment ring this period the department in the university was hon by tho the appearance of a denul genuino led quail and tho the head lettuce d the he personal guarantee of the year rubber co the rainbow ice cream and calcareous alcare alca reous oua rr Fr omage a member of sj 4 li last lass of 08 who could not sing t a I 1 and did so its U n each bac guest bad to talo taho a 1 spoonful of cato cafe noir and two p i selected by a farmer student 1 ad promised his mother never neer to ja bacco as now after 10 and time VC home those who had bad started H 1 l i up along in the afternoon were w ere th S on the vine others who had 0 catch even on the 3 ticket afi if they had been loaded with al i up at the long table enough irs ra to supply a chautauqua cir ml ero feline of themselves to make sure auro that the manuscript bud bad not been lost loat each thought that he be was waa tho the orator of the evening tho the committee had bad put on tho the toast program every ono one who might pos poe aebly take offense at not belne being asked also they had selected OB as toast master a beaming broncho whoso choso vocal chords wore were made of seasoned aldo and who remembered all tho the black face faco gravy that billy rice nice used to shoot across at low benedict when nibles garden was first op opened ened after every 30 minute manuto address he would spend ten minutes in polite kidding of tho the last speaker and then another 10 minutes in climbing a mountain height from which to present the next speaker along about midnight tho the cowards and quitters began crawling out of side doors but most moat of the loyal sons ot of old hunkus Bo propped themselves thema elvea up and tried to bo be game f before I 1 a member of the faculty put them on the ropes hopes with 40 minutes on projected changes in tho the curriculum at 11 30 tho the toastmaster was making speech no 8 and getting ready to spring the oldest living graduate protected by all the gray that was left to him he bo began to reminisce I 1 four old grade grad were massed to gothar going back to the tha days daya when it was waa considered a great lark to put a cow in the chapel tho the toastmaster arrived home at 3 a m and aroused his wife to tell her it had been a great Suc cea ceria MORAL it they were paid 3 a head to stand for it no one would attend the new fable of the young fellow who had no father to guide him once there was a boy who had been told twice a day ever since ho he could remember that it if he be started to go into ono one of those Dog geries gerics with swinging doors in front and mirrors along the side a blue flamo flame would shoot out and burn him to a cinder also he had been warned that every playing card in the tha whole deck was a complimentary ticket admitting ono one to a hot griddle in the tha main of tho the fiery furnace and every little paper cigar was waa another spike in tho the burial casket with seven or eight guardians trailing him day and night to keep him away from tho the lures of tho the wicked world it looked liko a pipe that he ha would grow up to bo be the tha dean of a theological seminary across the street lived a poor unfortunate lad whose father was making tho the futile endeavor to take it away faster than the revenue officers could put stamps on it lie he was the original blotter when they were trying to pry him away from it ho he would take a chance on anything from arnica to extract of vanilla according to all the laws ot of heredity tho the only son was cast for the part of joe morgan ile ho is now tho the read head of a mall order house when ho he sees a corkscrew he pulls his hat bat firmly over his ears and runs a mile the graduate of tho the lecture bureau may be found in a swagger club any evening with a bourbon 11 11 at his right night a stack of student lamps nt at hla his left and two small pair pressed closely against his bosoni bosom MORAL tho the modern ambition seems to bo be to vary the program |