Show E IR I 1 A L STORY M ROOM MEN novelized from the comedy of the same name illustrated rupert irl ro of ah lay as produced atut hes hey W savoie 18 SYNOPSIS harry mallory la is ordered Jo 0 o the philippines he and lu marjorie arjorie newton decide to elope but wreck of taxicab prevents their seeing minister on the way to the train transcontinental train la is taking on passengers porter has haa a lively time with an englishman and ira lathrop ro P a yankee business man T the he elopers h have are a an e exciting 1 e biting t time me getting to the jimmiie lie train little t fl e Jimm wellington bound for or reno to get a divorce boards train in maudlin condition later mra jimmie appears she la Is also bound for laeno ateno with same object likewise mrs airs m my whit comb c 0 m b latter blames mrs airs ji Is for h her e marital troubles classmates of mallory decorate bridal berth rev and mrs mra temple start on a vacation they decide to cut loose and temple removes evidence 0 f his calling marjorie 1 decides to let mallory proceed al alone one but train starts while they are lost in fare farewell avell passengers join mallorca Mall Mal orya lorys classmates in giving couple wedding hazing marjorie Marj orla Is dla dis ira lathrop woman hating bachelor discovers an old sweetheart annle Cl gattle attle a fellow passenger mallory vainly hunts for a preacher among the passengers gera mrs mra wellington hears little voice later she meets mrs whitcomb mallory reports to mar borle his failure to find a preacher they decide to pretend a quarrel and mallory finds EL a vacant berth mrs jimmie discovers wellington on the train tritt ri mallory again makes an unsuccessful hunt for a preacher dr temple poses posea as aa a physician mrs airs temple la is induced by mrs wellington to smoke a cigar molt sight of of preacher on LL a elation platform raises MaTi a orys orya V hopes bul he takes another train Alls missing sing hand baggage compels the couple to borrow from passengers jim ale gets a cinder in wa Ir 80 eye and mrs TIP gimmle gives gives firs it aid coolness ta ls then le resumed still no clergyman M more 0 re borrowing r dr temple puzzled by beh behavior a r of different couples mar marjories Marjo jorles iles jealousy aroused by mallorca Mall Mal orya lorys baseball jargon marjorie suggests wrecking the train in ho hopes e s that accident will produce a preach er A also lao tries to induce the conductor to hold bold the tr tran in so she can shop CHAPTER the dogon dog on dog again As tho the conductor left the malloris Mal lorys to their own devices it rushed over him anew what sacrilege had bad been attempted a tool fool bride had naked asked him to stop the franb american of 0 all trains to go shopping of all things 1 he stormed into the smoking room to open the safety valve of at his bis wrath and found the porter just juet coming comin gout out of the buffet cell with a tray two hot hol low stemmed glasses and a bottle swaddled in a napkin say ellsworth what in do you suppose that female back there wants wants mo me to hold the trans american while but the porter was in n a flurry himself ile he was waa about to serve champagne and he cut the conductor short 11 me boss but theys a lovin couple in the stateroom forward that Is in a powerful hurry tor for this I 1 cant talk to you now ill see you later and he swaggered off leaving the door ot of the buffet open the conductor paused to close it glanced in started stared glared roared this well ill be a dog smuggled in herel here ill break that coons head come out ol of there you miserable arnary hound ile he seized the incredulous by the scruff of his neck growling its you for the baggage car ahead and dashed out with his prey just as mallory now getting new hearings bearings on marjories Marj character spoke across the rampart of his bis folded arms well youre a nice one maat making ng violent love to a conductor before my very eyes A minute more and I 1 would have she silenced him with a snap dont boni you speak to me I 1 hate youl you I 1 hate all men the more I 1 know men the more I 1 like this reminded her and she asked anxiously where is uma mallory impatient impatient at the shift of subject snapped back oh I 1 left him in the buffet with the waiter what I 1 want to know is how you dare to was it a colored waiter 10 of f course but im not speaking ot of but suppose he should bite him film oh you cant hurt those waiters I 1 started to say bay but I 1 cant have biting colored people it might not agree with him get him at once mallory trembled with suppressed rage like an overloaded botler boiler but he be gave up and growled oh lord all right ill get him whan ive un flu dished go get him this minute and bring the poor darling back to his mother ills hla mother ye gods cried mallory wildly ile he turned away and dashed into the mens room with a furious wheres that damned bogl he met the porter just returning the porter smiled hes right in heah sir and opened the buffet door ills his eyes popped and his jaw sagged bagged why I 1 let him hero here just a minute ago you loft left the window open too t Al mallory allory observed well I 1 guess nos gone the porter was panic stricken on im tur terrible sorry boss I 1 have lost last dat dog tar for a fortune it you was to hit mo me with a axe I 1 mind to his utter befuddlement mallory mall ory grinned and winked at him and murmured oh all right dont worry and actually laid halt a dol ica in his palm leaving the black lids batting over the starting eyes mallory pulled his umile into a long lone face and wont went bade back to marjorie Marj orle ilko an undertaker my love prepare yourself for bad news marjorie Marj orlo looked up startled and apprehensive sive to la ill lie ho did bite the darkey worse than that he be tie ho tell foll out ot of the window Wh when enill she shrieked in heavens name when ho was there just a minute ago tho the walter waiter says marjorie went into instant hysterics wringing her handa bands and sobbing ott oh my darling my poor child stop tb train at oil tol sho she began to pound malloris Mal lorys shoulders and shako him frantically ho fie had never seen her bar this way either ile he was getting his bis education in advance lie he tried to calm calin tier her with inexpert words illow how can I 1 stop tho the trach now dearle dearie he was a nice alco dog but alter after all hoaas he was only a dog she rounded on him like a panther only a aogi lie he was worth a dozen men like you you find the conductor at once command him to stop t this his train tra inand and back UPI up I 1 dont care it 1 he be has baa to go back ten miles hun tell hlen at once now you run mallory stared at her as aa it II she had bad gone mad but ho he set out to run somewhere anywhere marjorie paced up and down distractedly tearing her hair and moaning knoo zlemma my child my poor child at length her wildly roving eyes noted the bell rope sho she stared pondered nodded her head clutched at it could not reach it jumped tor for it several times in vain then seized a chair swung it into place stood up in it gripped the rope and came down on it with all her weight dropping to the floor and jumping up and down in a frenzied dance in the distance the engine could be heard faintly whistling whistling for every pull the engineer far ahead could not imagine what unheard of crisis could bring about such mad signals the fireman yelled 1 I bet that crazy conductor Is attacked with an ept lettic nt fit but there was no disputing the command the engine was reversed the air brakes set the sand run out and every effort made to pull the iron horse as aa it were back on its haunches the grinding squealing jolting shook the train like an earthquake the shrieking of the whistle froze the blood like a womans comans cry ot of mur derl in the night the women among tho the passengers echoed the screams thin the raen men turned palo pale and braced themselves for the shock of collision some ol at them were mumbling prayers eis dr temple an and d gimmle wellington with otie one idea la their dissimilar souls dashed from the smoking room to go to their wives ashton and wedgewood with no one to care tor for but themselves seized windows and tried to light them open at last jast they budged a sash and knelt down to thrust their heads out 1 I dont see a beastly thing ahead said wedgewood except the heads of other tools fools were slowing blowing down though eald cald ashton she stops were safe thank god and he collapsed into a chair wedgewood collapsed into another gasping Wha are we safe from I 1 condah won dah the train crew and various passengers descended and ran alongside the train asking questions panic gave way to mystery even dr temple came back into the smoking room to finish a precious cigar he had been at work a on he fie was followed by little jimmie who had not quite reacted reached his wife when the stopping of the train put an end to his excuse tor for chivalry lie he was regretfully mumbling it would have been such a good shanah to shave my lifes wife I 1 mean my I 1 dont know what I 1 mean he sank into a chair and ordered a drink then suddenly remembered his vow and with great heroism rescinded the order mallory finding that the train was checked just before he be reached tho the conductor saw that officials bewildered wrath nt at the stoppage and had a fearsome intuition that marjorie had somehow done the deed lie he hurried back to the observation room where he ha found her charging up and ancl down still distraught he paused at a eafe distance and said the train has stopped my dear somebody rang the bell 1 1 I guess somebody did marjorie answered with a proud toss of the head bead oberes Wb eres the conductor hos looking for the fellow that pulled the rope you go tell him to back up ani and slow slowly ly too no thank you said mallory he was a brave young man but he be was not beardt bearding ng the conductors of stopped expresses already the conductors voice was heard in tho the smoking room where be appeared with the rush and roar of a bashan bull well he bellow bellowed ed which one or of you guys pulled that rope it was nobody here sir dr temple tempie meekly explained the conductor transfixed him with a baleful glare 1 I 1 believe a gambler on oath I 1 bet you did it 1 I assure you sir wedgewood interposed ter posed he be touch it I 1 wan wall heah beah 1 the conductor waved him aside and charged into the observation ro room 0 in followed by all the passengers in an awe struck rabble here too the conductor thundered who pull pulled ed that rope speak up somebody mallory was about to sacrifice himself to savo save Marjy Marj but she ehe met tho the conductors black rage with the withering contempt of a 0 young queen 1 I pulled the old ropo rope whom did you suppose tho conductor almost dropped with apoplexy at finding himself with nobody to vent hla his immense rage on but this pink and white slip youl ho he gulped well what in say in n the tha namo name of why dont you know its ft a penitentiary offense to stop a train this way marjorie tossed hor her head a little higher grow grew a little calmor calmer what do I 1 care I 1 want you to back up i the conductor was reduced to a wet rag a feeble echo back up tho the train up yes back the train up marjorie Marj orlo answered resolutely and go slowly till I 1 toll you to stop tho the conductor stared at tier her a moment then whirled on mallory say what in hells hella tho the matter with your wife mallory was saved from tho the problem of answering by marjories abrupt change from a young tsarina rebuking a serf to a terrified mother she flung out imploring palms and with a gush of tears pleaded wont you please back up my aly darling child fell off the train the conductors rage tell fell away in an instant your child tell fell off the he gasped good lord ilow how old was he with one hand ho he was groping for the boll bell cord to give the signal with the other he opened the door to look back along tho the track lie he was waa two years old marjorie Marj orlo sobbed bobbed oh too bad the conductor groaned what did ho he look like lie ile had a pink ribbon round his neck A pink ribbon oh ob the poor little fellow the poor little fell fellow owl I 1 and a long curly tall the conductor swung round with a yell voll A curly tall your son my dog marjorie Mar jorte roared back at him tho the conductors voice cracked weakly as he be shrieked your bogl you stopped this train tor for a fool dog lie he a fool dog marjorie Marj orle retorted facing him down he known more than you do the conductor throw threw up his hands well dont you women beat lie he studied marjorie Marj orlo as it if she were some curious freak of na nature suddenly an idea struck into his daze say bay what kind of a dog was lt it a measly little cheese hound ile he was a noble beautiful sout soul with wonderful eyes and adorable ears cars tho the conductor was waa growing weaker and weaker well dont worry 1 got him iles hes in the baggage car marjorie Marj orle stared at him unbelievingly y the news seemed too gloriously beautiful to be true he dead la Is not dead she ehe cried he lives t he lives you have saved caved him and once more she flung herself upon the conductor lie he tried to bat tier her off like a gnat and mallory came to his rescue by dragging her away and shoving her into a chair but she saw only the noble conductor oh you dear good kind angel ge bet i him at once ile he stays in the baggage car the conductor answered firmly and as he supposed finally but like baggage cars marjorie Marj orlo smiled he wont ride in one hell ride in this one or ill wring his bis neck you fiend lu in human flesh mar jorte shrank away from him in horror herror and he found courage to seize the tha bell rope and yank it viciously with vath a sardonic please may I 1 start this train the whistle tooted faintly the belt bell began to hammer the train to creak creale and writhe and click the conductor pulled his cap down hard bard and started forward marjoree Marj orle seized hla his sleeve on oh I 1 implore you dont consign that poor sweet child to the horrid baggage car it if you have hava a human heart in your breast hear my prayer the conductor surrendered unconditionally oh lord all right all 11 right ill lose my job but it if keep quiet ill bring him to you and he slunk out meekly followed by the passengers who were shaking their heads in wonderment at this most amazing teat feat of this most amazing bride TO BE CONTINUED |