Show JONES PUT UP A substitute and incidentally got reputation as a after dinner speaker it there Is ono one thing I 1 hate bate remarked mr jones it la Is after dinner speeches well I 1 found myself at a big banquet where I 1 know very tow i ew of those present to my amazement and horror toward the end of the festivities the toastmaster fixed ns eyes upon me wo we have with us ua tonight to night I 1 hoard the old hated formula roll out unctuously from his elds and then my own name mr jones the well known etc the toastmaster concluded but I 1 mado no move to got get on my feet I 1 felt paralyzed my tongue was seeking to climb through the my mouth and then tho the guests from all sides began yelling yes yea jones jonesi joneal which Is jones where Is jones A brilliant idea came to me sitting close beside me was a little man who dearly loved speechifying speechify ing like a flash I 1 jumped to my feet jonea nes why heres jonesie jones t I 1 cried and clapped the little demosthenes on the shoulder then I 1 yanked him to his feet murmuring in an oin ominous inous sotto voce dont give me away speak now V he spoke and in tho the guise of myself he made a most successful little or oration ailon there was loud applause and much shouting of ohavo VV hata ho he matter with jones iles hes all I 1 right f As tor for me I 1 sipped wine and gradually recovered from the nervous shook shock occasioned by my narrow escape a from being eloquent |