Show ABOUT NEW 1 A PE tho dilha d ml of ons of cf the bast basil cf them the woes boes of an aa editor multifarious anil and complex natura of his duties at n 8 and aad crit criticisms i c is m 0 rr from 0 la au all I 1 sources one more unfortunate heedless of evil loathly importunate gone to the deavil why any man mail sane bane or insane with a sound body and a chance to cultivate lis his neighbors 0 potato patch and house after afler night should ever want to be an editor is more than the wisest pundit can tell it is ia a conundrum that stumps one as aa plump as aa a grease greabe woo wood d grub does doea a sore pore toe or as a any common enst question does an average american statesman god save gave the mark the war cry of every fellow claiming to be three removes from idiocy or senatorial imbecility should be an editor thip I 1 nay kay rather as for me give me liberty or give me a rea respectable des death th with at an undistorted cadaver I 1 and a la io kua kiss nw mw tor afi rhy r in law an all editor everybody s pecking block creati creations creation oi s scapegoat and etya sway backbite backbit ivd pick c incle complo dpn hov 4 sand wa wW Mt A 13 ajas ll sall bend and in a tripe fariS nty engineer engine ef of a one donkey PCT canal boat dairy mai I in n aged ox and two be goats as th whole stock in trade or cervant girl in a poorhouse or an aa orphan asylum be a stock gambling partner of cleveland and sherman a railroad director or pirate president of a sausage stuffing machine a rag vendor charcoal bawler darky preacher with a battered stovepipe hat bat of the vin vintage taze of 1819 a gover nor tinker or idiocy sporting colleague of quay hoar and elkins ih the depraved and degraded senate anything everything but an editor I 1 an editor his work like wom ans is never done ile he has to write politics of the dirtiest kind and ic it is all dirty elections religion bist history orv statistics often false as a census ceniu s report or a treasury statement bubi liese finance railroads mines and great minin mining strikes frequently all on paper rags forward and backward improvements and ments which seem to be nowa now a lays days largely 0 in ia the majority ile he has to write distinguished arrivals arri rals or make them out of extinguished ones like arthur brown stray mule notices crops weather markets crimes and wherein is embraced most moat of the political history of the day and aoe age 6 ile he has to write personal notices often of numskulls num skulls and nobodies births deaths deit hs weddings and other calamities removals remo removals sales eales including senatorial ones in which the is first sold and then the people trades exchanges 0 and failures pre emi n antly conspicuous among which come most if not all of the statesmanship ot of these degenerate latter days ile iio has to write puffs of new books and new music puffs of new exchanges and new advertisers puns puffs of muddleheaded muddle headed speakers and nimble footed dancers puffs of reopened opened re theaters bar r rooms and churches puffs of sermons sermon ballads bishops and ballets and pulls of the people that aubi hirn him lie ho has to write descriptions of balls picnics concerts revivals levi vals and smash ups extravaganzas on oil climate soil mineral riches and scenery rallies reunions and mass mas nice meetings tings denunciations of infamous govern denul policies dissertations on fashions essays essaya on morality and criticisms on the follies of the day and subscribers who do not pay daily and hourly lie he must run the whole gamut of emotions and tear the la last kt feeling and sentiment to tatters he mutt must be glad to hear this and pained to hear that delighted to meet one land and distressed tress ed to learn of an accident to another shocked by this enraptured with that commis commiserating crating here congratulating there mourning today rejoicing tomorrow now grinding out an all obituary full of tears and doleful do doggerel lerel and now jingling g a merry wedding strain he must bust be ever ready to entertain his elderly female with information in regard to the he prices of bulter buiter eggs 1 and dried apples cures for measles mumps and chicken cholera the tion cause the condition of the heathen away from home and the prospect of charity fairs and church festivals where the lone oyster wallops around in a ho hogshead shead of soup ile he must always be prepared like a salfu self winding anding inding double back action automatic hurdy gurdy to dash clash off at a moments momen lB warning warnia in any tune or ley key from congressional arid and the latest importation of swine and am jac jackasses jacka kasses geee to sup supreme rems court decisions on trusts and railway combinations ruins of egypt rome arid and offer jeffer aeonian democracy labor strikes led always by ebin chin workers presidential gubernatorial nat riat orial tickets ticket and size of ca cabbage babaa 1 heads and pumpkins pumpkin and woree than all elee he must at the bi bidding adding of any and every mob of inebriated and unclean partisans known as a convention unceasingly cea singly blow and swell sirell political toad hogs fios 0 and lesser vermin into majestic lions of statecraft and transform stupid and thievish non entities into colossal giants of wisdom learning eloquence and vir tue I 1 i then afla after an atchis his diep A c ry endless tolling to sling lie he must endure with the patience of a a crowned martyr the impertinent suggestions and criticisms of every he be and she wiseacre in the universe who I 1 knows just low how a newspaper should be run and must bear the jeers and strictures tures grumbl ings growls and miscellaneous and assorted asso assorted rAed of a world of moral hypo cranks and chronic fault finders if he is ia witty and jocular ar they pronounce him a frivolous je reb hasher asber of stale ali almanac nanae jokes and it if ho he is grave logical and dignified they declare him stupid and tiresome it if he boldly denounces rascality and wrong wherever hs be finds them they say he be is impolitic and injures the party and if he be does not they eay be is timid or bought up I 1 if f h he e publishes the crimes and outrages frauds swindles legislative pro ce edings s court decisions and multiplex iniquities that cons constitute titu te nine tenths of the news of the day they decry him as a a vulgar and sensational panderer to depraved tastes and if ff he dues does not they sneer aneer at him as h and behind the age if he prints an occasional bermon ermon fc they deride him as a puritanical bigot and blockhead and if he produces a stray extract from some glib tongued agnostic groper after light they howl bowl aga against him as a pagan blasphemer if he calls a beast a beast whether in the white house houge or the slums they crucify him as a blackguard and if he does not they insinuate that it he is a coward and a 09 ler if he bo industriously triou sly gathers all local news and gossip of his hia region they scout him as trashy and trilling trifling trying to interfere with tap high prerogatives of the five teas arid and old ladies sewing societies arid and if he be fails to do to co they hout flout liim him as afi lazy and uninteresting if he supports a scoundrels convention nominee they hound him as a shameless corruption iet and if he be manfully and honestly refuses to do it they kick ick him out ut of the party as a traitor and dizor a nizer if he lies they raise their pharisaic hands in holy horror borror and if he tells tella tho the as lie he sometimes dares to do they set him down as in an idiot sadly wanting bauling in discretion if oh ell rarest of ili ties iio ho makes money they insinuate sin that lie he has done it b by dabbling in jobs by selling his paper arid and tumbrel to rogues and rin ring arid and if as is true in to too many cases cages he stays too poor to 0 pay for a rel red flannel patch on his blue corduroy breeches except on oil the gibat moral principle of half cash and half balf in advertising they sneer at hint him ai a shiftless vagabond destined to bs be buried at the countes coun tys expense work as lie he will do or do not as he may the whole yelping yel pins pack is at his heels beels with an everlasting chorus of complaint rebuke and vituperation predestined stepchild step child of hard luck lie he is damned if lie does and damned if lie he alas alas if there plows no holy patriot fire upon his hid altar of daily sacrifice flee if he be be ba not illumined and consecrated with aure and holy ambi 1 troy tion to adva advance ace the Iv welfare elfare of his country and his people eople if over all his work exalted love or of liberty and right and ardent desire to serve his oge age cast not their sacred ed halo his labor is ia but gillest paid slavery and his life a weary failure and yet vet there are victims self belf doomed ever read to sacrifice themselves on oil this ink smeared altar of endless and thankless drudgery dozens scores lesions legions of them are arc constantly stepping forward and of their accommodating tr mo dating trousers gables to the public bottoe bot boot toe in every pare of the country but especially in utah this fertile young state sprouts new papers and new editors as prolifically as it does ever everything thil else worth growing at all they the spring up like mushrooms or jonass squashes in ia a night and are areas as vigorous in appearance as young cedars of lebanon or nr journalistic 1 our na listic tob tailed bulls of D achan in higl high grass during fly time they are far ahead typo typographically a rachi editorially news gatheral lively arid and boo 0 of f papers a half balf century did in the bir big 0 towns town S of many other regions v I 1 be Utah nian wishes each and every one of the lie enterprising editors far more uck luck of the right kind than most men find in the useful and honorable line of life they have chosen and trust they ma may y escape the ragman rag man and the buzzards in this world and the exchange fiend and printers devil in ill the next mans man ti a vapor full of woes avues starts a paper up L p he goes Utah nian |