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Show DETROIT CURRENCY.<br><br> You may have noticed that the smallest women carry the largest fans.<br><br> OVER 400 colonels of the late war are in the insurance or sewing machine business. <br><br> MICHIGAN has three county jails without prisoners. Too good weather here to be wicked.<br><br> THE highest ambition of a woman, according to Worth, should be to look jaunty under a plain hat.<br><br> THE King of Bavaria has become partner in a circus; and now we may look for some grand flops.<br><br> SEVENTY-EIGHT American women took out patents last year, and not one of them was for a kitchen utensil.<br><br> THE way a girl got her money out of a busted bank in Oregon was to put a bullet through the ear of the President.<br><br> LET the American hog be troubled and it scares the British lion. He who feeds a man has the dead-wood on him.<br><br> BOB tailed coats will be all the style this year, and there ought to be a great deal more kicking done than last season.<br><br> THIRTY per cent of the homeless children sent West by philanthropic New Yorkers change hands inside of three months.<br><br> TOM THUMB has run through with the comfortable fortune he retired on eight years ago, and must now take to the road to earn his bread and butter.<br><br> A POLICEMAN at Xenia, O., arrested a couple of lovers for kissing each other good night and the next day he was ducked in a pond and retired from official life.<br><br> "AS FOR her social standing," remarks a Colorado paper of a singer, "it will be sufficient to say that her father owns 128 mules, and is a candidate for the Legislature."<br><br> PETER Cooper says that if he had his days to live over again he would go fishing at least three days out of every week. Ah! theses old chaps realize it only when too late.<br><br> THE New Haven Register has come to the conclusion that the mantle of charity is cut on the bias. We thought the cloth for cutting these sort of mantles had given out long ago.<br><br> A TEXAS Judge who had two tramps before him said to them: "Now, one of you make tracks for the border and the other try to catch him." They caught at the idea and put in their best licks.<br><br> SPREAD a report through an Austrian neighborhood that Satan would appear on a certain corner at a certain date, and a crowd of several thousand people would assemble to see how he looked.<br><br> A BREAKMAN on the Erie Road knocked Jay Gould's hat over his eyes and told him to get inside or he'd throw him off the train, and Gould obeyed just as humble as if he didn't own a single carwheel.<br><br> THE MEMPHIS Appeal tells how a native of Louisiana climbed a tree and pulled a panther off a limb so that the dogs below could finish him. How much wool does a Louisiana panther shear per season? <br><br> THE Philadelphia street-car companies will demand and receive six cents fare until the Quakers apply the Western remedy. Let everybody take to walking for a few weeks and the fare would come down fast enough.<br><br> THE motto of Gambetta is: "I can wait," but let breakfast be three minutes behind hand and the cook hears from him with a vengeance. Mottoes are like old slippers - handy to slip on and off as occasion requires.<br><br> AND now we have the news that the high-toned ladies of New York won't button their boots with anything cheaper than a gold-plated hook. If people will go back on the convenient hair-pin in this matter all we can do is to protest.<br><br> WHEN some one can invent a five barrelled revolver which can be sold for twenty-five cents, every city can do away with at least two school-houses at the end of the first year. It is simply necessary to buy a little more burying ground. <br><br> ASKS the Cleveland Plain Dealer: "Where shall we find a filthier city in the United States than Cleveland?" Hark! Don't you hear Chicago inviting you to inspect her two feet of black slush? Don't go to feeling proud. Chicago is the boss nasty city of this whole country. |