Show DECLARED OFF I When can you sp spare re the time lime for Cor our marriage Marion Marlon Z the betrothed man asked The woman consulted her engagement engagement engage Fri Friday Friday Fri Fri- ment book Three o'clock next day afternoon she replied Oh that will be out of the question ques tion lion he cried Theres Theresa a special meeting of ot the Glitter Gold company that I must attend at that time Well VeIl its it's the only time I have sha she told him with an air of or easy resignation tion Every other hour for the next two years is filled tip up The man Dan jerl jerked ed his his- shoulder Irrl tably I guess well we'll have to call our little matter off then he said salt It seems to be inevitable she agreed indifferently And so they parted for with some people marriage is but an incident and an Incident is of course course t too o trivial to deserve the sa sacrifice of an event I Interested ThemI Them I have haye here says the Inventor to to the capitalists two plans for Cor radical changes in sleeping cars Yes murmurs tho the capitalists This plan increases th the space apace given en to each pass passenger mger and makes th the berth much more comfortable by by- by Cant consider it W Well Vell the second plan makes maltes th the car uncomfortable but it enables it to carry half as many more passengers and and and- Give us the complete details with estimates of cost Life Reason For Doubt The obese party with the big diamond dia dla mond In his tie claimed to be a self self- made man and a millionaire But we asked aked were you not happier happier hap hap- pier when you were earning a aday aday aday day b bj by the sweat of your brow No he lie answered I am happier no now than thab at any previous stage of the game Thus were we led to doubt the millionaire mil mu portion of the claim More Frenzied Finance Bleeker I Bleeker-I I dont see why our government gov gay should tax the people or need needa a tariff It has exclusive control of the greatest money making business on earth Meeker Referring Meeker Referring to the mint Bleeker Bleeker No No The stamps we pay 2 cents apiece for cost cost the government only 7 cents a thousand t BETTER AA iL I 7 The Tho Bricklayers Bricklayer's Wife Vif Wife Dreaming Dreaming c-Dreaming eh I suppose you were building castl castles s in the air The Bricklayer Bricklayer No Im I'm mending chimneys of castles castle in the air How He Won Her Said she che Through life Ill I'll walk walk alone In sunshine and stormy weather But he bought an aeroplane next day day clay And now flOW they are flying together los Out of Season Dese pure food guys make me mo tired muttered Micky Jones as he looked over the newspaper s de trouble kiddo ask asked d his chum Why In de winter months dey always al ways get off dat gag about ice cream being adulterated an unhealthy Why dont don't dey spring it in de do summer when de galls are nagging yer every hour to treat treat All In the Game Edyth Have Edyth-Have Have you 1 heard the latest Mayme Dont Don't Don't Dont know Lets Let's hear It Edyth Fred Edyth-Fred Fred says his father threatens threat ens to disinherit him if he marries me Mayme Fudge Mayme-Fudge Fudge That's merely a bluff to make mako you think his father has money Flaw In Inthe the Theory Every girl l remarked the fussy old bachelor should learn her fathers father's business and thus become independent dent Oh I dont don't know replied the fair fall maid My Iy father is Is-er-a Is er a telegraph lineman Not Fit to Print I I suppose a mar man who plays on a trombone calls himself a trombonist 7 I dl believe so Other people call can him various names Success In Medicine Fir First t Young Doctor When Doctor When will you yoube yoube yoube be able to to get married Second Young Doctor Doctor Im Im I'm waiting now for only three operations more Life THE HERO The greatest h hero ro of ot them all allIs allIs allIs Is not the man behind the gun gunNor gunNor gunNor Nor h that scales a flamIng wall wail To rescue some helpless one He does not lead lea the rescue where The ship chip Is fast upon a n. rock rok Nor does docs he na navigate gate the air- air Hes He's playing l leads In summer stock The maidens gaze a at t him and sigh He Is the envy of or tha boys bOs His Ills step Is proud his head Is high lIe He Is If the lou loudest est sweetest noise There Is no ro other In his lila cliss ss He lie struts like any turkey cock The kid kiddies dies run to lo see him pass- pass Hes He's playing l leads ads In summer sunner stock So S. S. S E. E Kier In R R rl R Her GOOD Goto Fishing K M 1st was telling some friends about a proposed fishing trip to a lake c in ii Ip Colorado he be had in contemplation con con- Are there any trout out there asked one friend Thousands of em replied Mr Ir y Will wm they bite easily asked another another another an an- other friend Will wm they raid Mr Why they're absolutely vicious A man has hasto hasto hasto to hide behind a n. tree to bait a hook BROKE IN HALF j Bys Bystander Bystander That's That's ander-That's That's something of a novelty in the way v of an automobile I Seems to be made in two separate parts The Copper Copper It It aint ma made e that way The guy that owns It just ran Into a trolley car I As It MIght Have Been Seen King Richard had been sorel sorely tried tried- Richmond gave him him many a pain Then he got ma mad and loudl loudly cried d My kingdom for tor an aeroplane What He Required Why dont don't you go to work asked the kind lady I would maam ma'am replied l the husky hobo ef I had de material and de do tools What tools and material do you require require require re re- re- re quire queried the k 1 A knife an fork an an some food rood answered the h. h h. h Too Small for Use Man remarked the student of Unnatural unnatural un Un- natural history is the only animal that uses a handkerchief Then rejoined the thoughtful thinker it is justas I suspected How is that queried queried the student A womans woman's han handkerchiefs are only for show answered the t. t t t. tAs As An Amended The man who who trusts another alother educates edu cates him remarked tb the generator of near You have said it the student student stu stu- stu dent of human nature And the more trusting he does the more be he will add to his own stock of knowledge Stabbed I never ne leave my mirror until I am perfectly satisfied with my appearance appear appear- ance aiice i Youre easily satisfied or or you'd never leave it SHE HAD EATEN SOME ONCE I Prospective Employer Can Can you cook cool on the chafing dish Cook No Cook No maam Prospective Employer Employer Then Then Ill I'll give you a dollar more a week Still In the Running Great Caesar crossed the Rubicon A rived small though we wet Gr Great Groat at Caesar now is 18 dead and gone gone- one one- But tho the Rubicon's th there rc yet t. t-t. Made a 1 Difference Little Willie What Willie What is logic pa Par Par Logic Logic my son son is your line ot 01 argument In a controversy Little Willie And Willie And what Is sophistry sophis try S Pa The Pa-The The other fellows S 4 |