Show II Then Why Not J Since 1862 we have made I good our jewelry guarantees We would like to serve you t e Then why not I j yea 1 MAIN MAIM 51 SL SALT LAKE CITY UTAH e A POSITIVE and PERMANENT PER PER- s MANENT CURE FOR FORI I III Drunkenness and andI I Opium Diseases r There litre ii it D no publicity DO eo Ladies 11 a it a in is their heir own awn homer homei THE KEELEY IN INSTITUTE INSTITUTE IN IN- W. W Sooth South Temple Street SIred Salt Lake Lite Cit City BEING THE ONLY In the mountain Inter country making thoro Field Fjeld Tests o of Seeds we lead all competitors Write for our Dig Big lg Free Catalog ot of SEEDS PORTER W WALTON PORTER CO Salt Lako Lake City Why He Wasn't at School chool An old man upon seeing a small barefooted lad playing in the street of ol ofa ofa ola a western town one day approached him him and said Young man why are you not attending school today some someday someday someday day when you grow up you OU will regret all this wasted time Well VeIl Ill I'll tell yer mister said the chap hap with a long drawn sigh Me sick me brother Jimmy broke his arm yesterday esterday and baby's babs cutting his teeth and my oldest sisters sisters sister's sis ter's airs getting married and besides there aint any school ter tel day its it's teachers teacher's convention day aim aau dats dat's the reason reason I aint at it school ter tel day National Monthly l Unattainable Heights Surgery said Simeon Ford at a dinner in New York accomplishes wonders nowadays Hearts are sewed tip up the appendix is removed the the large Intestine is done awa away with But The noted humorist smiled But will the time ever come when surgery will be able to remove the cheek of a young man man or the jaw of an old oId woman No Chance The Joker There Joker There is an epidemic of smallpox In the southern end of the city Why not send some of your force lorce down to Investigate Detective Captain Captain But But man that disease is contagious us t The Joker Wont Joker Wont Won't hurt them They couldn't catch anything A New Order Orde I Local Clerical May Clerical May I ask to which I religious denomination you subscribe N Newcomer Newcomer Newcomer-I'm Im I'm an Local Clerical Clerical And And what pray do doth th believe Newcomer That Newcomer That if one sins often enough the soul becomes becomes' fireproof Mamma the Colonel Now my boy you say you do not know what hat the head o of a regiment is called Your papa is a soldier isn't he a as s Yes maam ma'am Well who makes him mind Mamma Baltimore Baltimore American e t Swearing by Proxy U Mrs C. C Mary C.-Mary Mary was the grocers grocer's boy Impudent to you again over the telephone tele f r I phone Jhone r Mary Mary Mary-Ho Ho was maam ma'am but I fixed him I Who the hell do you think youre you're talking to This is Mrs C C. C Cof of He Was V a Diplomat r She She I I should like that lovely pearl necklace Look what beauties they are or He Its He Ifs better not to have have such 09 large pearls my dear People always think they are arc false so Expensive Identification I en i ird rd I 1 am to meet the duke at the dock But Dut he has never seen you girl For means of identification he Is Isto Isto ro to wear a red carnation and I am to carry arry in my left hand hand hand- Washington HernIa Herald for Useless Effort a Mr Pester Pester Pester-Aren't Aren't Arent you going to tobI bI kiss me dear m Mrs 1 Pester Pester What's What's tho use I Iii ii have bae such a cold I cant can't tell whether to youve you've been drinking or not Ial to Implicit Obedience aI Angry Diner Diner- Valter Walter Waiter theres there's a fly in in this soup Patient Walter Yes Walter Yes sir aIr Angry Diner Remove Diner Remove It at once o r Patient Walter Waiter The The fly sir II Angry Diner DIner No No You rou idiot the theand and soup coup Tier Patient Walter And Walter And leave the fly tore sir Yonkers sir Yonkers Statesman After Eden Ede Eve The Eve The thermometer is falling leaf Adam Adam No No wonder you hung it on the thc apple tree Should Be Worth the i Price e. e ito f It costs more more said a prominent oID Washingtonian to get divorced than thun alto lt St costs to get married It I Maybe so said the the lawyer as he 1 f took the big bib check but its it's worth more Isn't it 1 Net Quite tolf I Dobbins Dobbins I say old fellow ell ow you are nrc coil setting thin since you retired from the business rails rails' Bobbins ex coal dealer dealer right You see sec I dont don't weigh b a as much as I did T V Q if f THE EARTH A D o 1 Jo D CURIOUS ODD CAND AND D INTERESTING OBJECTS cAND iND PLACES |