Show I what tt d ni thinks in S about The Campaign Blues ANTA MONICA CALIF S SANTA What with Roosevelt taking over the ancient Ham- Ham theory of centralized authority and Landon prom promising promising promis promis- ising is- is I ing to restore the Jeffersonian principle state of-state sovereignty the campaign is in high What with Farley undertaking ing to organize the voters Negro rs of the north for tor Roosevelt and the other side claiming to be hopeful of ot carrying carrying car car- Florida with the thc aid of at white votes what hat with Andy Jackson turning over In his grave and James G. G Blaine stirring fretfully under the sod it seems the most appropriate appropriate appropriate campaign selections would be for the Democratic orchestra to render John Browns Brown's Body and the Republican quartet to sing Bonny Blue Flag with special emphasis upon the stirring line Hurrah Hurrah for Southern Rights Hurrah Doping the ESPITE revelations that some of D DESPITE Americas America's most prized race racehorses racehorses racehorses horses have repeatedly been doped one of ot the state racing boards reinstated reinstated rein rein- stated staled a trainer found guilty of this foul and crooked cruel practice So our commissioner t to o t the h e l tic V y conference at Geneva Geneva Geneva Ge Ge- neva is disgusted l a III 1 Maybe a y b be e because do Im I'm hop hopelessly P e 1 e s sly Y old fashioned I s f still prefer that a horse should b e trained on the turf and not at a drug h Irvin irvinS yin S. S Cobb store Nowadays Nov the fellow who prowls the paddock just before belore a race is liable either to o go goto goto goto to sleep suddenly or go to bucking It depends on whether the geegee he sniffs has been drugged to lose or drugged to win in Hollywood Dog Days TOURISTS to the Hollywood sector sector sector sec- sec tor come during a dullish inter inter- lude The diary of Miss Astor has been closed and the next chapter in the lile love life of John Barrymore has not been opened It might be said for Miss bliss Astor's output before the court shut it off ofT that it was written well-written and caused the public eagerly to await further disclosures Certain parties may have gone out of town but they all aU left word where the paper was to be sent Hereafter for a series of such purely personal confessions it might be well to begin each installment installment in in- like this May it please your honor and my precious Praising John Hamilton HEARD THEARD John Hamilton speak to toa a selected group of his own folks and please dont don't laugh when I say that the individual he most reminds me of in ot-in in engaging personality in sound sense sense sense-is is the rival national chairman Jim Farley Without comparing these two as asto asto asto to past records or future prospects I figure they're temperamentally alike in various ways ways notably notably innot in innot innot not getting unduly excited or nastily In his talk Hamilton did not declare declare declare de de- clare the American flag was in danger danger danger dan dan- ger ger did not implore any anyone ne to save the American home He didn't call the Republicans saints didn't call the Democrats knaves or idiots He didn't claim for his side a monopoly of ot patriotism Quite calmly he told his hearers what points he thought should uld be stressed by his party inthis Inthis in inthis this campaign campaign and and poked fun at himself while poking fun at the theother theother theother other crowd d. Congressmen Versus Ta Taxes es A AGAINST AGAINST my better belter judgment L- L Im I'm trying to be cheered by the announcement of ot the present majority majority majority ma- ma ma ma- leaders in congress that looking looking looking look look- look look- ing forward to the next session they behold no new ta toes tares es ahead But after alter election when the lads look closer they'll probably be able to behold quite a few That's why a balanced budget is like the idea of santa claus some claus some something thing everybody talks about but nobody ever expects to see Ex Excepting Excepting Excepting Ex- Ex when a campaign is on and the v voters are sort of flinching ing their galled backs under the load a fa favorite favorite favorite fa- fa pastime of legislators wherever wherever wherever ever found is thinking up more taxes to go along with the taxes theve already thank up They resist the craving for tor just so long and then they notice some previously overlooked dollars hiding behind the baseboard and then then then- well wen you might hire a henhawk to guard your henhouse but could you depend on his word IRVIN S. S COBB COBS C Western Newspaper Union |