Show what what thinks about Pensions for Veterans S SANTA ANTA MONICA I CALIF Merely another little prophecy by old Doctor Cobb the amateur soothsayer who never said a a sooth hes he's surer of than this one Agitation for a blanket pensIon pension pen pen- sion slon to cover all World war veterans vetera veterans veter veter- a ans s regardless of ratings or physical cal enl condition will start as soon as those won lately billions are At first some veterans' veterans or organization tion Uon will oppose rose It n not not 0 t r for 0 r long though At first congress tv will I I i b be e lukewarm T Then I h e n it It'll ll s see ea a great y light and this new pension act one act 0 one n e that will be to all previous pension acts nets what a n whale J NA Is to tadpoles tadpoles will will Irvin rvin S. S Cobb be passed At least the veterans have hn-e the argument argument argument ar ar- ar- ar of patriotic service on their side And Isn't It true that to nearly nearly near near- ly Iy all nIl of us has come a new conception conception conception con con- of ot the national figurehead No longer Is It square-jawed square self self- dependent Yankee Doodle Its It's a generous jolly smiling Santa Claus Glaus bringing free checks for everybody that Is free until the taxpayers start pa paying the bill Defying the Almighty G the example set some years cars ago ngo by a certain famous famous famous fa fa- fa- fa personage a sure cock Infidel made a speech lately def defying God to smite him dead on the spot It seemed first off a very sound Idea but nothing happened so the gentleman gentleman gentleman gentle gentle- man took this for proof there was no God and went his way rejoicing Some look on this as blasphemy but granted that er e every man Is entitled entitled tied to speak his opinion on religion religion re re- re ligion Id I'd call It pure gall Think of Inviting time tile Almighty to suspend the entire cosmic scheme while forging a thunderbolt to abolish one solitary cop copycat of an nn amateur AJax Would you call can out the standIng standIng standIng stand- stand Ing army of or the time United States to kill kiU a cockroach Lady Killers I IT TT T HAS been In print so often you must know It by heart yourself At sight of her recreant gentleman friend the poor bruised butterfly felt a great sense of her wrongs wrongs- the wretch wanted to go back bacIc to his wife or something equally dastardly and and the n next nest t thing she knew she was holding a smoking automatic that accidentally happened to be bc In her ber handbag along with some lipstick lip stick and a recipe for fudge and he hc was deader than the prosecutors prosecutor's chance of convicting her for Cor the killing But just prior to that ev e everything went black before her eyes Theres There's one de detail tall which never never nev nev- er varies varIes that that black before the eyes business It was in the case they tried recently recently recently re re- re- re In New York Its It's In lu this latest case casc at Chicago a n sore soro affliction always marked by hy total lapse of memory and frequently coupled coupled cou cou- pled with temporary Insanity but Its It's certainly fine for Cor marksman marksman- ship Brawls In Hollywood NATURALLY Y I have hot southern southern south- south I- I ern blood which seems to bethe bethe be he hethe the hottest bottest there Is although down home I never noticed It But up north If trouble Impended people would speak of ot my hot southern blood when all the time I J thought I was having a nervous chill Being thus all hot blooded up I Indore adore fighting If somebody else does It Since our movie heroes always stage their combats combats' In some utterly secluded spot such as a cafe or a night club I hurry hither and yon on hoping to be present when an embittered embittered star satisfies his honor by bouncing a special order of sweetbreads sweetbreads sweetbreads sweet sweet- breads under glass with mushrooms mushroom twenty minutes 00 DO cents oft off some rivals rival's classic profile But nut Its It's hard hartI enough for me to get In touch with a n waiter let lone alone alonea lonen a n good tossing plate contest Today Today To To- d day y the war correspondents report two brisk battles on the Hollywood front and Im I'm absent as usual In the main bout both gladiators were script writers proverbially a n breed Believe It or not a n Mr n tangled with a n Mr Ruskin Ruskin Rus- Rus kin the presumption being that one of ot time tle gentlemen re regarded ar e the theother theother theother other as ns a typo typographical error English Reds Again S SO Il G prInt printed d here lucre recently recent recent- ly about the the way English handle their reds and pinks prompted prompt prompt- ed an En English gentleman to write giving further details seem that over there all aU public servants Including notably state-paid state school teachers must swear to uphold the thc crown which means they cannot preach communism communism communism to their pupils without violating vio lating n a solemn oath and If caught so doing they lose their official heads beads Instanter Moreover no avowed or suspected agent of the Soviets may use the thc radio to preach the overthrow of the existing go gov government government In favor of the Russian plan In other words words forgive forgive the pun please please Britain Britain never shall be Slavs IRVIN S. S COBB p. p C C G |