Show what I 0 J bb irs thinks about What They Want to Read CULVER CITY CALIF Beautiful actress mysteriously dead Crazed worker t tarns turns peaceful street into a shambles Mother of three hanged for murder Nurse suspected of in inflicting inflicting in in- mercy deaths on helpless help help- less ess patients Confession by Hauptmann Haupt Haupt- mann predicted 1 Rich filch mans man's son kid kid- Former President Hoover tries to make humorous s speech h. h All AU these tragic things on the same Bame front page Earnest thinkers who'll accuse ac nc- cU cure cuse e the newspapers pers pens of ot sensationalism sensation for featuring Y distressful happen happen- happenings ings lags forget that to A live I ve newspapers a must print what people w cv want n a n t to torad read rad about not Irvin S S. Cobb what professional and most publishers and many editors would like them to read To publish any other sort of ot newspaper for popular consumption would require an endowment fund bigger than the avera average e reformers reformer's Ignorance of ot human nature Ext Extra D. D In the excitement one more saddening headline almost was overlooked Governor Talmadge of Georgia still thinks hes he's running for tor President The Living Dead Doctor Carrel Carre Is a bit a-bit bit late Inte with his theory that human beings might be dried out and tiled flIed away for a matter of years or so and then brought back to life lire n again aln Only the theother theother theother other nl night ht I was at a n dinner where there were many who must have undergone the process process- only they hadn't been brought back to life Ufe yet It used to be that T I had better results results results re re- talking at nt banquets But lately lately late late- ly my ray audiences and I J seem to be drifting apart Or maybe Its It's merely poor old Mr Cobb that's drifting apart II Seriously I think It would be n a mistake to dehydrate a n fellow the way Doctor Carrel sug suggests and set him aside In some quiet place for a couple of centuries and then return him to consciousness He probably wouldn't notice much change e In radio gags gags they they'll still stilt be using the same ones ones but but judging Judging Judg judg- In ing by the present rate of progress think what taxes will be then Prospects Prospect of a Fight T OR a while it seemed that when Fon the Republicans meet next year It would be for memorial services at Armageddon and adjourning thence to the cemetery Now its it's settled they'll meet at at Cleveland and the official silver lining locator Chairman Fletcher pre predicts It wont won't be any lodge of ot sorrow either Also the Democrats who not so lon long ago ngo were figuring their 1030 1930 to-do to would merely be a 0 grand ratification rat rat- rally replete with Farley and flags are now nov Inclined ned to go goIn goin o oIn in for tor a D. re regular convention with resolutions deploring among other things s the Literary Digest Well Welt a fight Is better than n a mas mas- sacre And upon the horizon of Qt b both th parties looms the fi figure ure of ot old Doc Townsend coming with a little plan and und If It you ou dont don't think hes he's beginning to cast a shadow ask asIt grandpa Meanwhile the Ham Fish boom for President spreads ads like cold molasses Stamps and Such to the Christmas rush O OWING our Post Office department let letan nn an entire week slip by without turnIng turnIng turn turn- In Ing loose any special stamp stamp- commemorating com corn somebody or something That means means a n header double r later If It youre you're going In for new United States Issues you'd better figure on an addition to the little home- home nest Dest You Ton wont won't be able to get your collection In an on album you'll need nero a bowling alley Because when we run out of ot people or places or events to name stamps for Big Chief Farlay Farlay Far Far- lay IllY can cnn draw on the alphabet and ond still sUU be In the fashion My guess Is the NHA memorial stamp will wUl be printed In black and feature a picture of ot Gen Hugh uh Johnson standing on his 1118 head Peace Prize for Sl Sale Sala STICKING O TICKING up their heads Just lon long enough to announce there'd be no peace prize for tor 1035 1935 the Judges ducked right back ck into the sub At the moment nil aU was quiet and antI harmony With the exceptions of ot one onelar large e three ring war and several smaller ones and riots of r one or more of or the standard varieties varieties varieties-ra- ra racial cial religious political Industrial industrial or ec economic going economic going on simultaneously In seven major cities on four continents which cornea conies pretty close to being almost all aU the continents we have But nut withholding the award why didn't the Judges take a n quick glance In the direction Uon of ot Greenland Greenland Green Green- land There hasn't been a D. harsh word out of ot Greenland all year To trade one trade one white dove In nn an indifferent state of or health for a set of ot brass IRVIN S. S COBB C North Amer American p r mc rage rn Y U S oe |