Show what b c gb thinks about World Conquerors SANTA CANTA MONICA CALIF L. L Conceded that Italy started started started start start- ed hostilities against a weaker ra race c for purely selfish motives which among the nations that might seek to block her would conic come with clean dean hands It wouldn't be Britain with her record l In the 0 opium pI u m war It couldn't be France with her record tow toward n r d colonial possessions ns a and ti I. I lately toward occupied occupied occupied oc oc- territories Not Belgium sure- sure Jit 44 y with her reekIng reek- reek In Ing record In the Congo Not Spain with the RIfT to accuse ac ac- cuse her nor Germany Ger Germany many w which h hie I c hi h Irvin S S. S Cobb grabbed off orr one of at the fattest cockles of of Africa's heart when the grabbing was good nor Japan with her teeth set In Chinas China's torn flanks Nor yet America with long Ions centuries behind her of ot In Infamous infamous In in- famous mistreatment lot for lotour our own Indians Out of ot all nn history you'll find but butone butone butone one world conqueror who came with clean hands hands and and those hands the soldiers pierced with Iron spikes ns as they nailed the Nazarene to the Cross Cros S S a Arkansas Athlete Athletes T IP IF TREY THEY ern craved ved to not get ct off of the I front page the Italians made a grave ol mistake by starting r a war when theres there's a World series on on-es- on es especially one where you find two opposing op posing star pitchers from the same state What scoundrel was It saM sard the c chief b t I e r f products of Arkansas were Democrats and champion hog hog- callers And Arid why hy shouldn't that Warneke Warncke boy hoy lie he ahle able to throw straight and move fast Where he comes from when hen the family's out of meat one on of the youngsters oun runs down a n buck bucl rabbit or slips out omit before breakfast break fast with a n pocketful of rocks and comes h home 0 maw with I t ham a mess e s s of squirrels If they'd only let tet him take oft off his shoes he could move around that Infield even en faster Also It come as they say In his country and mine to nurse one quid In the rl right ht cheek all afternoon I was sixteen years old before I knew there was any other salad course a a a Pestered Presidents P PROBABLY Y California V was v a s a n no a 0 aI I worse than any other section but Ill I'll bet Mr Roosevelt uttered a silent cheer when he pulled out outon outon outon on a commodious and o ocean ean with only the sea lions to listen listen usten lis us- ten to to Instead of oJ the spouting orators orators orators ora ora- tors of ot America We elect a man to the hl highest hes office omee and the toughest Job on onearth earth earth and and then handshake him and wave flag e him and speech make l hOrn him lm to death He lie goes Joes forth to see how v fares the country and cant can't see the country for the reception commit commIt- tee He has a n private car to travel In a arid and d spends his time on the back platform lie ITe goes gocs b back ck home to do dohIs dohis dohis his work woi-k and nil all the visiting firemen firemen fire lire men In the land come to be photographed photo photo- graphed with h hIm I m on the White WhiteHouse House lawn NOTE The exhausted ex cx- hausted housted gentleman crouched In the middle Is him A President of the United States has no more privacy than a n n a President o 0 of t th tb the e United States Fooled you goldfish fanciers that time didn't t I Its It's as ns though we hired the exclusive ex cx- service of Michelangelo and then sent him out to take ink orders for enlarged crayon portraits above normal a a a Those I. I O. O U. U Us U.'s TF IF IF- ME MEMORY rightly serves this 1 humble scribe Its It's almost time I for our government to go so through h hI the laughable routine routine of sending I off oft the customary batch of ot those quaint please remit notes to tore reI remind re re- re- re I mind the European powers that accumulated ac I cumulated Installments and hack interest Interest Interest in In In- II terest payments n a are r e over overdue ue on that little UttIe debt of ot eleven cleven or twelve twel billions The usual procedure will be followed fol Col- fol- fol lowed that lowe that Is the rest of ot em will Just Ignore the whole theory anti and somebody In Paris where the repudiation repudiation re re- re- re Idea Iden originated will denounce denounce de do flounce Uncle Sam for Cor his hideous greed Lafayette ette they aint there a a. a a Kentucky Elections HEY had a primary election In T THEY I J. J Kentucky not long hong ago ugo and we didn't know the results until fully 24 hours afterward because they've got a law down there against countIng count count- Ing Ies the vote for at least one olle day after atter tho polls close then theo allowing time to notify the families of ot decreased decreased de de- de creased and the Ule coroners I As a native son Ill I'll never ne forget torget the tha thrill I had hind In 1932 1032 when all nil I the the rest of ot the country had reported report report- r ed a n party named Hoover er was also running that year year ear and then the tho first st scattering returns came In from Kentucky seven se dead and andI I eighteen wounded I IRVIN S. S COBB C No North American Newspaper Alliance I Inc Service |