Show hobble hobble hobble skirts and trouble every hat Is IB a picture hat nowadays prunes are higher telephone your landlady what has become of the old fash cloned man who wore a doub double lebr breasted aasted test dynamite may help but tennis snatches matches are the only reliable cure tor for droughts volcanoes in alaska are epou spouting ng ore fire very likely the janitor la is try trying ng jut cut the flues carrier pigeons will have baye to equip P LL themselves elves with electric motors or fall all hopelessly ems behind radical changes are announced in the new t football 0 othall rules there will be m hitting bitting in the clinches newport Is said bald to bo be crazy over a barefoot dance this means more work for the chiropodists by playing tennis on a hot afternoon a fat man learns to despise mere rain as a producer of moisture maine alaine an automobile ran into a minded bear that was get unior ung e ar t and nature badly mixed duke franz joseph says he Is in this country after bear and not a bride nevertheless he may got get hla his eya on a dear in porto rico oysters grow on trees that Is very well but unfortunately tabasco sauce does not grow on the ze same limb germany Is going to make laws governing aviators however it Is alread already y a capital offense to fall feet with an aeroplane jt it has been proved that a vassar girl larl Is not afraid of an aeroplane still an acro aeroplane plano does not in the least resemble a mouse remember while copiously watering your lawn that many a faucet on tho the second floor Is hoarsely muttering how dry I 1 ami aal remarks a woman writer the tha work of personal beautifying resembles that of a house decorator in respect to calcimine chicago will be a good place tor for holding the worlds bre browers wera congress as the streets have given a great reat impetus to the hop industry in some ways tho the preacher who looks for baseball in heaven Is most conservative when tho the homo home team i wins baseball Is heaven to the tan fan A new highball which costs la Is being sold in new york some of the none of pittsburg millionaires must be ba spending the summer in new york theres no sate cafe and sane way to fall out of an aeroplane remarks the toledo hlade there Is no safe and sane eano way to tall fall out or of bed aviators ore are to hurl dummy bombs at dummy war vessels at garden carden city N J and then maybe peace will und it easier to spread her dove like wings some enterprising correspondent should now uncover a fleet 0 0 japanese airships ready to spread devastation over the shark infested waters of the pacific another woman has broken her leg by tripping up in her hobble skirt it may be necessary to pass a few sumptuary laws or soon the men will havo have no dancing partners the weather man reports that the mean rain tall fall for july was inches less than any july since 1879 which shoes it was a very mean monthly rainfall indeed an illinois man has invented a safety pin with two points halt half of 0 tho the adult population uneasily awaits information as to whether the women will wear them in their belts de be temperate and slow to anger sleep and vot eat regularly go in for athletics early in life and keep limber are some rules tor for a long life also look both ways before crossing tile the boulevard at their recent convention in denver the dentists decided that kissing would havo hava to be abolished for the pur pose pose of saving the human race would a human race that had abolished kis atsa ing be worth saving A massachusetts preacher says there will be baseball in heaven the enjoyment of some of the enthusiasts will be spoiled however it if it shall be ba found impossible to throw things at the umpire in heaven the season tor for fish and snake stories has been rather poor both to in quality find and quantity tho the output has haa not net been up to the standard it la Is feared eared by some theorists that the es of the ananias club his has acted as aa an early frost to the crop |