OCR Text |
Show SEENahd SEEN on ahd d HEARDMAIN " HEARD "EADD EADD - O c > OA . - -A A - AMAIN - -MAIN MAIN - MAIN STREETw STREET STOEET STREETDefinition w . e + y " ' ( ! } 1 ' \ . ; - Definition Definltlon DefinltlonDUTY DefinitionDUTY DefinitionDUTY DUTY Somethmge Something Somethmg \ we \\e e h hate ate < to do todo but a al al\ais al ais ! nays \ a } s brag00 brag ' - abo -00 00 t lat later r . . * . . Percy Peic Pelc } ) Whiffletree WThiffietree arrived at the theoffIce theoffice theoffice offIce eal eaili early hand and ' ill 111 in He mdn oidn aidntarwe t tarrne tam arrne am nightbefore I11ghtbefore e home until daylight dayhght the I11ght night before and as he was "as as nas " undressmg undressing undressinghis undressmghIS hIS " , wife He ' woke 'Ioke Ioke up and said Alen ArensSou Alenc Arens Alencou & 'you you Sou " ' ou getting t ip tp p pretty earl early earii9 ) ? ' So Son Son Son n order to sa\e sa e sane . \ \ arg argument argi.ment argiment . ment he put h1.s h1s his . puthis puth1.s do\nto do nto snto clothes back on andent and \ ' went \\ent ent 'sent sent \ do don \n n sn \ to the office offlc1) offlc1 ) officer r . . . * . YPuzzle T Y ' DeptWhat Dept"hat Puzzle Dept " What "hat hat hat do you } ) ou surpo surpo&e surpoe surpose & e a prnate prnatesecretary prnatesecretary pmatesecretary secretary thinks thmks after she he mar marTIes marryes marnes TIes ryes her boss and he calls cal1s hel her helup herup helup up to tell tcl ! her he has toI to \I I \ work workuntil workuntil ork orkuntil until midnight nudmght mrdmght . . . . LFAS1IMPORTANCE LPAS'l1MPORTA1CE LrASZLMPORTAICE THE CEREMONY CERE\lONY CERE lONY \ IS OF LPAS'l LPASl LrASZ ' 1MPORTA1\CE 1MPORTA1 CE LMPORTAICE \ ' , IN A : MARRIAGE MARRIAGEYET YET MADEABOUT THE MOST PUSS FUSS IS1ADr IS " \ MADE \1ADr 1ADr : ABOUT rr IT _ _ _ DefimtIonBACHELOR DefinitionBACHELOR Definition DefimtIon BACHELOR A man who has lostthe the opportunit opportunit- opportunity opportunitof : ) - } . of making somewoman woman miserable * . * . * . * . An Aberdotuan Aberdoman went to Aus- Aus Australla Austraha Aus Australia - tralia tralla traha When he returned three threeye'us threeyears threeyezrs ye'us yeus years ' later be he found his three threebrothers threebrothers threebrothers brothers all aU aR with beards , , at the theral.lway therailway therailway ral.lway rallway railway . station . . ' "Wbats Wbats "What What " 'What What ' s the Ing big IngIdea bigidea bigidea Idea " ' ' ' he ashed asked ' 'Ye Ye rye ' ken quitewen quitewell quite quitewell well wen ye took the razor awa wi wiye wiye wiye ye was the reply . . . . Mitchell Mellch MeUch McIich attome attorney ) to tocolored tocolored tocolored colored client cllent We Well ! ! Rastus so soyou soyou soyou you want me to defend you for forstealing forstealing forstealing stealing ? Have you got any money ? Rastus "No No 'No ' " suh haln hair hatat t got no nomoney nomoney nomoney money but I Is s got a 1822 1922 Fo Fod d carMItch carMitch car Mitch Well Wen I guess you ca.n can ca.nraise canraise canraise . raise money on that car Now what whatwere whatiwere whati I iwere were ) sou ou accused of steallng stealing stealingRa'tus stealingRatus ? Ra-tus Ra tus Rastus ' - A 1922 Fo Fod d car . . . . The girl gul at the telephone ex exchange exchange exchange change doesn doesnt t know anythmg anything anythmgabout anythingabout anythingabout about sfiATing sttt.T1Og stttT1Og stu'Trng stuTrng . ' olives ohves but she shesquick s sqwck squick qwck quick at filling fi1mg ! ' dates . . . * . Oscar Hassenpfeffer is letting his hishtte hislittle hislittle htte little ! son . dilve d.1ive d1ive drive the car He says the thelad thelad thelad lad s still stl ! too young to be trusted as asIt asa It ' " pedestrian peqestrian pedestriane e . . * . * . Toothpaste has bas been adver advertlsed advertised advertised I IToothpaste tlsed tised to do so many JIlany things th10gs that thatIt thatit thatit It seems a shame jurt Ju$1 Ju1 jut4 $ ; to brush bruslt busl brushour ; ; y your our teeth with mth It itt itt t . . . t . + Do my children brush theIr theIrteeth theirteeth theirteeth teeth I ' said the thnfty father fatherSay fatherSay fatherSay Say sou you ou ought to see them race raceIn racein racein In getthe the moimng mOlmng morning to see who tcho 11 Il get the toothbrush firstPhilosophy firstPhilosophy first firstPhilosophyThe Philosophy PhilosophyThe PhilosophyThe PhilosophyThe The person who always alvays ala ; ays Insists he heIS heis heis left getsleft IS right is usually the one " , who ho gets getsleft * . * . * . * . Sandy was shipwrecked slupwrecked h15 his h15cothmg hisclothing hisclothing cothmg clothing ! " was "as as in tatters he had hadno hadno hadno no food and the outlook was wasgloomy wasgloomy wasgloomy gloomy indeed mdeed But it could be be'Iorse beworse beworse 'Iorse Iorse worse ' thought Sandy I Imight Imight Imight might have bought a returntleket returnticket return tleket ticket . " . . . . FAMILY OP OF 4 FLIESTO FLIESTO FLIES FLIESTO TO VISIT ROOSEVELTHeadline ROOSEVELTHeadline ROOSEVELT ROOSEVELTHeadline -Headline Headline - Headline in Buffalo paper . . * . * . Big BJg hearted Mrs MIs Thuriberry Thurlberry was the wasthe height of generosity generositv as she sheturned turned saltsto over six si'c sic sl ' ! : ' bottles of bath salts to the1 the \1 1 \ welfare ueifare elfare depaI depaitment department tment . * . . * . lonelyroad He ( as they thev drive along a lonely road ) You look lovelier loveher to me meevery meevery meevery whatthats hatthat hatthats every n nmute mute Do 5 y ) on Ol1 art hnowhat know hnow \\hat hat w \ \ hat that thats s a sign of ofShe of ofShe ? She Sure Yo-iie Yo iie YOlle Yoiie YOllebout - ' \ ibout \bout bout about torun to "un un run "unout runout " ' un ) out of gas as Once upon a time i a ' \ certain certalD OLng young youngman } OLngmn ouiginin m\n m n man ' \ and a certain certam young lady were wereout wereout wereout out for a drive dove around the country They countryThey selected the ! leo lees e s freqllented frequented freqllentedroads frequentedroads freqientedroads roads because he said drlVllg drrvrig dnvi ig 1D in 1DtraffiC intraffic intraffic traffiC was too difficult They wele were weleout wereout weieout out on a lonely stretch strctch when hen all oC of oCa ofa ofa a sudden the motor diedThe diedThe died diedThe The motor is dead dear he hesaId hesaid hesaid saId and I don t know wl wi wiet11er wiether ether et11er I Ican Ican Ican can fi\ fi fiit fi \ . it or notnut notBut not notBut But nut he got out and stal stalled started ted Cool fool Coolmg fooluig fooling mg uig minuteslocated nunuteslocated around and in m iii a few nunutes minutes CoolI I located the trouble fhedIt freedit Hied fhed freed : it and andthey andthey andthey they drove home1IOPAL home I ItIOPAL " , tIOPAL 1IOPAL lOP AL Girls homeI neicr nenr neser go outttll out \ttll ttll with ' witha ttlla \ I ] a . mechanic ml'chalUc mlchalUc ' _ _ _ I |