OCR Text |
Show w v U41 rr rro rrof o crL _ : "J J "Jwvh6 " wv\h6 wv h6 \ about ahOt"ct ahOtct ofotitt aboutPutclicry of otitt otittrutcliery " Putclicry PutcJJery rutcliery by Air AirSAN AirCAN AirCAN SAN CAN ANTONIO , TEXAS T XAS- XAS XASrollowIng - - - t-/ t tFollowing tJ - / Following rollowIng the example c'cample ccample c " < ' amplc ofII ot of otI otII ofII I II Duce and that air-mindedson air mindedson airmindedson aIr-mmded aIr mmded air-minded minded aIrmmdedson - - son of his , who wrote a brave bravebook bravebook bravebook book describing descnbmg the joy of ofbombIng ofbombing ofbombing bombIng undefended mudvillages mud mudvIllages mudvillages vIllages full of women andchildren and andchIldren andchildren chIldren , one of the leadmg leading leadingstatesmen leadingstatesmen , statesmen of Italy has dehvercd deliv dehv- dehv deliv- delivered delivered - - ered ercd a speech declaring declanng waris war warIS waris IS the most glorious , , most in inspiring m- m in- in mspIrIng inspiring - spiring , most beautiful thmg thing thmgon thingon thingon on earth Inquiry dIscloses dIsclosesthat disclosesthat disclosesthat that this cheery patron is a ahero ahero ahero hero in m his own right As anofficer an anofficer anofficer officer , . he enthusiasticallyparticipated enthusIastIcally enthusIastIcallyI enthusiasticallyparticipated I partIcIpated in m the retreatfrom retreatfrom retreat retreatfrom from CaporettaCaporetta Caporetta CaporettaCaporctta CaporettaCaporetta Caporctta Caporetta was the place whereall v.here vhere where v.hereall whereall . all ranks of an entire army with vie vic vietory victory vietory tory against agamst the en enemy enemy enemy emy right aroundthe around aroundthe ' the corner , , sudden suddenly suddenly suddenly ly remembered they theyhad theyhad theyhad had sworn to die Inthe In Inthe inthe the last ditch and andslarled andstarted andstarted slarled started for the ex extreme extrcme extreme treme rear to looktor look lookfor lookfor for it Or it may mayhave mayhave , have been that everybody ev evv everybody evvody erybody ody just slmul slmultaneously simultaneously m mtane taneously tane felt home homesick homesick homesick e sick Anyhow it was wasmonths i imonths months Cobbof before someIrvin some Irvin g S Cobb of them caught up upwith upwith upwith with their panting pantmg pantingSo pantmgSo pantingSo So it s possible this blood thirsty thirstyorator thirstyorator thirstsorator orator has confused contused the science of olwarfare ofwarfare .arfare arfare warfare . with the sport of foot footracmg footracing racmg racing . . . The Meaning 1IleanIng ' ol ot of Words WordsA WordsDISTINGUISHED WordsA WordsDISTINGUISHED WordsA A DISTINGUISHED gcntlcmar gentleman gentlemanwho gentlemanwho gcntlcmarlx lx who never admitted the Eigheenth Eight Eighteenth Eighteenth eenth amendment was a failure Is IssaId issaid 1said saId to be comforting comfortmg the drys with withwords withwords witwords words of ofIsdom ofwisdom wisdom \\Isdom Isdom \ his attitude atUtude-m atUtude m attitude-in attitude in atUtudemeffectbeing attitudeineffectbeing - - ieffect effect-being effect being - being thisThe thisThe this thisThe The causes of sanity and safety safetysuffer safetysuffer safctsuffer suffer because certain distillers dlsullers anmany and andmany andmany many local retailers IndlScrlmmate indiscriminate indiscriminately indiscnminatily 11 ly ' sell an unnecessarily unnecessanly high pow powered povercd powBred ' ered Bred product the results result . being lavbreaking law lawbreaking lawbreaking ' breaking property damage , , danger dangerand dangerand dangcand and personal injury and untold suf su1 suffering su1fering sufcring ; fering for Innocent parties homl homi homlcldes homicides horncides 1 cldes cides mutilations often a hornd horrid hornddeath horriddeath horndeath death tor for the purchaser of the artl arti artlcle article cle In questionTo questionTo question To extend the argument furthe further ; " , . let us change just three words wordsIt ItCertain It " Certain automobile manutacturci manufacturers manufacturersand and many local agents indiscrim indiscrimInately indlscrininately indiscrimirately Inately irately sell an unnecessarily higlpowered high highpowered highpowered powered bemglaw beinglaw product , , the results bemg being beinlaw law breaking breakmg property damage danger and personal injury mJury and uitold un tin untold tintold ' told suffering for innocent parties partieshomicides homicIdes mutilations often otten a ho hor horrid horrid ; rid death tor for the purchaser of the thea thearticle ttarticle " . a article rtlcle in ques question tlon ' ' Now then when the aforesaid gen geiUeman genUeman genteman Ueman teman ] kindly kmdly proves that that , . , In sell selIng sellIng Ing cars capable of traveling 130 130mIles Imiles 130miles ! mIles an hour or even faster fcuse for foruse foruse use on highways hIgh\\ays hIgh ays \ having havmg a speed , speclimit speedhmlt speedlimit lesshe hmlt limit of 60 miles mlles an hour or less les : - he is promoting promotmg the causes of o1 sanit samty sanity samtyand sanityand and safety , I 111 Ill n turn prohibltionii prohlbltlomst prohibitionist prohlbltlomstwith prohibitionistwith with him - - - Practical Joke Jokes JokesIEEE Joke , ! ? I IIREE T TfREE JokesT * " " * -IREE IREE fREE IEEE - city sportsmen drove In Into Intothe intothe - the KcrrvlUe Kerrvme Kerrville country In Texas postedBut Everywhere Everywhcre Texai TexasEverywhcre TexasEverywhere the lands were posted poste But one of the party knew an orancher old oldrancher oldrancher rancher . whose v.hose vhose acres bordered the tlhighway thehIghway hIghway Leaving his mates at the theroad Uroad theroad road he went to ask permission to tobunt tohunt hunt bunt propertySure deer on the property Sure " said the owner ' Bust Bu Bustright : right Bustright in in-my in my - my place is full of buck bucks bucksI ; I never gun em myself Now do dome dome d thelot me a favor As you turn tUn ! into \ the lot you U n II see an old crippled sic slclt sick slcltwhite sickwhite deadbut white marc mare She oughtcr oughter be dead but I lain ain air t got the heart to kill an any anyIlVmg anyliving living IlVmg creature Put her out of her hermisery hermisery he misery , will wlU y } au ou ou7 ? ' ' The gratified huntsman had a awaggish awaggish waggish Idea As he opened Vc the thepasture thepasture pasture gate he let out a terrlt1cyell tcrnt terrlt1c terrttlc terrttlcyell yell yellI I 1 feel so good I vc ve ye got to shoot shootsomething shootsomething shoi BelievI BelieveC something ' ' ' , he whooped Believ Beheve Believe I C [ II 11 shoot a horse to start with ' With that he hauled off all and blast blasted blasted ed down the feeble old nag where whereshe whereshe she leaned against agamst the fence 'And And ' And now , , " as he turned on his horrified borrlfied hisborrlfied hishorrified companions ' ' I believe beheve 111 111shoot 111shoot shoot me a couple of so and soes soesHe He waved his rifle In their dlrec direc tlon Lion The next instant mstant one hs had hadvaulted hadvaulted himdown vaulted out of the car and had him hi : down tonguestuck choking chokmg him hun bun until his tongue tonguestuck tongi stuck out hke like a pink plush neckti necktie necktieThey They were wert > halfway back to town townwith townwith tow with a large man sitting on his her head headand headand and another driving like hke mad to find finda fir fira bulee belore before a lunatic asylum or a stout jail be fore lore the humorist succeeded in can con canvInclng convincing vincfag vInclng vincing them It was all just clean clea cleanboyish boyish funNow tun fun funNow Now the rest of Texas is fs wonde wonder wondeIng wonderIn wondertag In Ing tag : whora whom the joke 3 s a onIRVIN onIRVIN on onIRVIN IRVIN S COBB conn COBn connCoPYrisht COBnCopyrightWNU CoPYrisht CoPYrishtWNU Copyright--WNU Copyright WNU -WNU WNU - - - Service |