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Show I I , I SEENo SEEN Stld NFARD NFARDMAIN - HEARD I-lEAUD I lEAUD - O e > OnA " ' nA - - MAIN STREET STDEET STREETLMO STREETDefinition LMO Oa + - It : YF @ . . . ! , \ { w . wDefinition ; - DefinitIonAVERAGE DefinitionAVERAGE Definition DefinitionAVERAGE AVERAGE MAN One who re- re regrets regrets re regrets - grets the things he hasn ham hasnt t d done donemore dopemore e emore more than those he has doneI done I " * " " . " Whereas thePolitician the / Politician /Politician IPohtician first gets getsm getsin getsin and then in Itshatr Itshair its itshair m in the public eye hair hatr " . * " . * " . * " And yon you can t t telI tell ( ell political politicalTimber PoliticalTimber PoliticalTimber Timber by its bark " . " . " . " . DefimtionAVERAGE DefinitionAVERAGE Definition Defimtion DefinitionAVERAGE AVERAGE AMERICAN One "ho ho who "hodemands whodemands " whodemands demands efficiency in public opublic busl busi buslness business buslness ness but votes for candldatesho candidates candldates \\ho ho uho uhohave \ whohave hohave have failed in their own ownThere " . " " . " There s one thing you can say sayfor sayfor sayfor for an automobile as comparedwith compared comparedwith comparedwith with an airplane when its itsmotor itsmotor itsmotor motor stops so 50 does the auto " * . * " * " Though Tlwugh children have Jost lost JostthelJ losttheir losttheir thelJ their " faith in Fairy FalJ"f FalJf " Stonestheir Stones Stonestheir Stonestheir their parents still believe In IncampaJgn incampaign incampaign campaJgn campaign promises proDllSeS I I " " " " William Howard Tatt Taft once was wasmaklng wa wamaking wasmaking maklng making an address In one citywhere cIty cItyhere citywhere \\here here where \ constant heckling from the thegallery th thgallery thegallery gallery seriously interfered WIth WIthhis witl witlhis withhis his efforts Finally F1nally a cabbage lended lender lendedon lenderon lendedon on the stage and came to tQ rest near nearhis nea nearhis : his feetPausing feetPausmg feet _ , . Pausing Pausmg in his talk Mr Taft Tall TaftPeered Tallpeered Taftpeered Peered ! at the vegetable vegelable intently intentlyand intentll intentlland intentlyand and then remarked , . , Ladies Laches Ladles and andgentlemen arc arcgentlemen andgentlemen gentlemen I see that one of my myadversarIes ni niadversaries myadversaries adversarIes has lost his head " . " " If you get in trouble in a small smai smalltown smaitown smalltown town don t hire rure a slick lawyer to todefend tc tcdefend todefend defend you The juryould jury aould \\ould ould w \ ould know knowyou knowyou knowyou you wouldn't wouldnt ' ' have hired lhim shim ) hlm ii iiyou it ityou ifyou you hadn hadnt t been up to something " . * " . * " * " DefirntJon Definition Definition.DEMAGOGUE DefinitionDEMAGOGUE . . . ! DEMAGOGUE : A man who rocks rocksthe rocksthe rocksthe the boat himself hlJnSelf and then per- per persuades persuades per persuades - suades everybody that there sater saternble s a ter ternble ternble nble storm at sea " * " * " * . A Moab 1\Ioab 1 Ioab Aioab \ lad has a baseball baseballdog baseballdog baseballdog dog that wears wea.rs . a muzzle muzzlecatches muzzlecatches muzzlecatches catches flies files chases fowls and andruns andruns andruns runs for home every time he hesees hesees hesees sees the catcher " " " . " . MARRIAGE It used to be a acontract acontract acontract contract now its a 90 day option . " " " Too bad about Percy Percv He swal swallowed swallowed swallowed lowed a . spoon but he is in the theI thehQSPltal thehe thehospital hQSPltal he pital and can cant t stir stirou " " . " . " I \ou ou 'lou lou \ ' don dont t need an auto to toI tosun toiun I 1 sun un down your neighbors once oncei onceyou onceyou onceyou i you have mastered the ( he art ofGossip of ofGOSSip ofGossip GOSSipI GOSSip I " . . * " a * . aMost ! notI Most motorists are careful not notbecause notbecause I because they fear death but be- be because because be because - cause they are afraid of gettmg getting gettingtheir gettmgtheir gettingtheir their car scratched . " " . " . We Were re not retreating retreatmg the AdIII1ral Admiral Ad Inural III1ral miral said this 11l1s Navy 'lavy lavy " ' knows no nofear nofear nofear fear we re just traveling travehng around aroundthe aroundthe aroundthe the world to attack them from I tbe the rear " . " * " . " A clear conscience is more saUs satis saUsfactory satisfactory satisfactory factory than anytl anything ng says sa . > s the thePhIlosopher thePhilosopher thePhilosopher PhIlosopher but the next best bestthing bestthmg thmg thing is a good lawyer " * " . * " . " . Defimtlon Definition DefimtlonDIPLOMATIC DefinitionDIPLOMATIC DefinitionDIPLOMATIC Oneho DIPLOMATIC HUSBAND One Onewho Onevho \\ho ho who \ , when asked bv by his wife to tomatch tomatch tomatch hislunch match matchsome some material during tusunch his lunch hour replies Can I get it itat itat itit at the counter where that sweet sweetittle little sweetlittle withAe mththe withthe blondeorks blonde \ works \\orks orks ? The one mth with the soft e eies eyes es gorgeous jorgeous : ( smile and swell andswell figure9 figure figures ? And his wife replies wonthave thave No repliesNo dear Imfrald Im Inn \frald frald 'ifraid ifraid ' \ ' if raid you vou won wont t have time I'll Ill III I71 ' get it myself " . " . " . * " . A Criminal and his Money are aresoon soon Pardoned " . * " " " Percy W R " hTIetree hHletree biflletree ? is an awful awful1 awfulIj 13 Ij heis } helpless man . . . Often when he IS darning darmng his Ius sox or sewing sewmg on buttons onbuttons threadthe his wife has to thread the needle for him hun . . " * " " " Visitor Your son is rather small smallfor for his age isn isnt the he ' ? heProud Proud : Mother .Proud Proud . Oh no most boys mostboys s of hls hIs age are , overgrown I ILnmic Itl Ithink tl think nk " . * " . " . * " together togather Two Scotchmen had dinner dmner to gether gather m in a restaurant Aftu After dIn dInDer dinncr Der ncr the walter waiter brought _ . the , . - - - - check . . ? * * n/ n nCL / * > CL I The two bo to sat and coupleof talked jfpr tor for a couple r - of hours after whJch which conversation failed and they merely smoked In Insilence silence At 1 a . m . in one of them got gotup 4 W \ up and phoned his wife wde ' ' l Dinna 'Dlnna Dlnna 'Dina Dina 'Dlnnawalt 'Dinawait nft-H- nft H nftHlooks - * walt wait - - - - - - - - - up for me an any : , longer lass It [ looks like a deadlock de'ldlo'k deldlok deldlock ' ( ' _ _ _ - - - |