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Show whatt what . ( .C9bb C9bb : ! ' ) . n-vJ't n vJ't vJt - thinks t in s sabout -about about _ about : - = = = = . The Campaign Blues BluesSANTA BluesANTA BluesCANTA SANTA ANTA MONICA , CALIF CALIFThat CALIFWhat CALIF.i CALIFi . -\\That That -What What - \ What \ with Roosevelt RoosevelttaJ.ing Roosevelttaking Roosevelttaking taJ.ing taJing taking . over the ancient Hamiltonian Hamiltonian Ham- Ham Hamiltonian - ! iltonian theory of centrahzed centralized centrahzedauthority centralizedauthority centralizedauthority authority and Landon promis promlS- promlS promis- promlSing promising promising - - ing to restore the jeffersonianprinciple Jeffersonian Jeffersonianprinciple Jeffersonianprinciple principle of state sovereignty the thecampaJgn thecampaign thecampaign campaJgn campaign is m In 'hIgb hIgb ' high . , . " What with Farley undertaking to toorganize toorganize toorganize organize the Negro voters of the thenorth thenorth thenorth north for Roosevelt < and 1nd the other othersJde otherside otherside sJde side claiming ch1lmlng to be hopeful of car car- carrying carrying . - I rying Florida FlorJda with the aid nid of whIte whItevotes whitevotes whitevotes I whIteI votes ; what with WJth Andy Jackson Jacksonturning Jacksonturning . turnmg turning over in his grave and JamesG James JamesI JamesG I G Blame Blaine stirring stirrlOg fretfully under underthe underthe underthe the sod , it seems the most appro nppro appro- appropriate appropriate . - priate campaign campaJgn selections would wouldbe wouldbe wouldbe be for the Democratic orchestra to torender torender torender render "John John " Brown's Browns ' Body " and andthe andthe andthe the Republican quartet to sing SlOg ' , Bonny Blue Flag , " with WJth special specialemphasIs specialemphasis specialemphasis emphasIs upon the stirring lIne line"Hurrah lineHurrah , "Hurrah Hurrah " , Hurrah , for SouthernRights Southern SouthernRJghts SouthernRights RJghts Rights , Hurrahl Hurrah ! " . . . Doping : the Gecgecs Geegees Geegecs . D MESPITE DESPITE ESPITE revelations that some of ofAmerIca's ofAmerica's ofAmerica's ofAmericas AmerIca's AmerIcas ' most prized race racehorses racehorses racehorses horses have repeatedly been doped dopedone , one of the state racing racmg boards rem rein remstated reinstated reinstated stated a trainer tramer found guilty gwlty of thisfoul thIs thIsfoul thisfoul foul and crooked crookedcruel crookedcruel crookedcruel cruel practice So Soour Sov Soour Soour v our comrmsslOner commissioner comrmsslOnertot commissionerto tot t o the he mterna- mterna mternatlonal mtcma interna mtcmational - - | / /tional tional / tlonal tional antmarcotic antinarcotic antmarcoticconference antinarcoticconference antmarcoticconference conference at Ge- Ge Geneva Geneva Ge Geneva - neva is JS dJsgustedM disgusted dJsgusted ; - a aM M Maybe a yb y b e becauseI'm becausev becausey becauseI'mhoPelessl because , v y I'm Im I'mhoPelessl ImhoPelessl ' ' ' hopelessly hop e 1 e s sly slyold Y yY y old - fashioned fashJoned , IstIll Istill I still prefer that ahorse ahorse a rAtrained rA erA horse should b be e etramed trained tramed on the tudand turfand turf tud i iand and not at a drug IrvIn irvinS.Cobbstoic irvinSCobbstoic S . Cobb Cobbstole Cobbstoic stole stoic Nowadays the thefellow thefellow thefellow fellow who prowls the paddock just justbefore justbefore justbefore before a race is liable either to goto go goto goto to sleep suddenly or go to buckmg bucking buckingIt buckmgIt It depends on whether the eegee geegee geegeehe { ; gcegeehe eegeehe he sniffs smffs has been drugged to lose loseor loseor loseor or drugged to win wm . . . Hollywood HoUywood Dog Days . OURISTS to the Hollywood sec- sec sector sec sec.tor sector . - HOURISTS TOURISTS T tor come during durmg a dullish dulish interlude lOter inter lOterlude interlude lude The diary dJary of Miss Astor has hasbeen hasbeen hasbeen been closed , and the next chapter chapterin In the love life hfe of John Barrymore Barrymorehas Barrymorehas Barrymorchas has not been opened openedIt It might nught n-ught n ught - be said for Miss MJSS Astor's Astors Astor'soutput Astor'soutput Astor'soutput Astorsoutput ' output , before the court shut it off oftthat , that it was well written and caused causedthe causedthe causedthe the public eagerly to await further furtherdIsclosures furtherdisclosures furtherdisclosures dIsclosures Certain Certam p parties 1rhes < may mayhave mayhave mayhave have gone out of town , but they theyall theyall theyall all left wordlhere word \ where \lhere lhere there the paper was wasto wasto wasto to be sent Hereafter , , for a serIes serIesof seriesof scriesof of such purely personal confessIOns confessionsit , It might mJght be well to bpgm begin each in- in installment in m installment . - stallment like this"May this"May this this"May "May May " it please your vour our honor and andmy andmy andmy my precious pettykms pettykins " . . * . Praising Praismg John Jolm IIamJItonIHEARD HamiltonI HamiltonHEARD IIanulton IIamJIton Hamilton IIanultonR HEARD John Hamilton HamJlton speak to toa toa toa R I IHEARD a selected group of his hJS own folh.s folhs folks folksand . , and please don't dont ' laugh when I say saythat saythat saythat that the individual mdlvldual he most remmds reminds remmdsme remindsme remindsme me of-m of m of-in in of - in engaging engagmg personality , 10 in 10sound insound insound sound sense sense-Is sense Is - is the rival nationalchairman natIonal natIonalchaJrman nationalchairman chaJrman chairman , Jim JJm Farley , Without WJthout comparing comparlOg these two h\o h o \ as asto asto asto to past records or future prospects prospectsI , I figure they re tempetamentaUy temperamentally temperamentallyalike tempetamentaUyahke ahke alike in various vanous ways-notably ways notably ways - notably m in mnot innot innot not getting gettmg unduly e excited , < clted or nastily nastilyvmdlcatIve nastilyvindicative nastilyvindicative nastilyvindicativeIn vmdlcatIve vindicative vmdlcatIveIn vindicativeIn In his Ius talk Hamilton did not de declare dedare clare the American Amencan flag was in dan dan- danger danger . - ger , did dJd not implore anyone to save savethe savethe savethe the American Amencan home He didn't didnt ' caU call caUthe callthe callthe the Republicans Repubhcans saints salOts , didn't didnt ' caU call caUthe callthe callthe the Democrats h.naes knaves knav h.na\ h.na . \ es or idiots JdJots He HedIdn't Hedidn't Hedidn't Hedidnt dIdn't dIdnt ' claim for his side sJde a monopoly monopolyof of patriotism Quite Qmte calmly he told toldhis toldhis I IhIs hIs hearers what points pomts he thought thoughtshould thoughtshould thoughtshould should be stressed by his hJS party inthis In InthJS inthis thJS this campaJgn-and campaJgn and campaign-and campaign campaign - and poked fun at athImself athimself athimself hImself while whJle poking pokmg fun at theother theother the theother other crowd cro"d crod crotrd " . . . , Congressmen C.mgresmcn C.mgres Cmgres . \mcn mcn < \ Versus TacsAGAINST TaxesA TaxesGAINST Taxes Ta\cs Ta cs TaxesA ' \ A GAINST my better judgment , AGAINST A tA- tA tAI'm - ' I'm Im ' trying trymg to be cheered by the theannouncement theannouncement theannouncement announcement of the present ma ma- majority majority . - jority Jonty leaders m 10 in congress thit th"1t th1t th-it th it " - , . look look- looking looking . - ing mg forward to the next seSSJon session session.they sessionthey . , they behold no new ta to .es es . ahead aheadBut aheadBut aheadBut But , after election elechon electron , when the lads ladsJook ladslook ladslook Jook look closer , they'll theyll ' probably be able ableto ableto ableto to behold quite qwte a fewThat's fewThat's few fewThat's That's Thats ' why a balanced budget IS IShke islike islike hke like the idea Jdea of santa claus-some claus some claussomethmg claussomething claus - somethmg thmg thing everybody talks about , . butnobody but butnobody butnobody nobody ever expects to see Ex Exceptmg Excepting Excepting ceptmg cepting when a campaign campaJgn is on and andthe andthe andthe the voters are sort of fimc flinching fimc'ung fimcung ' ung theJr their theJrgalled theirgalled theirgalled galled backs under the load , a fa- fa favorite fa favorite - . vorite vonte pastime of legislators legJslators , wher wher- wherever wherever - . ever found , is thinking thmkrng up more moretaxes moretaxes moretaxes taxes to go along with the ta taxes taxesthe've taxesthe've taxestheve , < es esthe've the've theve ' already thunk upThey upThey up upThey They resist reSJst the craving cravmg for just justso justso justso so long , and then they notice some someprevIously somepreviously somepreviously prevIously overlooked o\erJooked o erJooked \ dollars hldmg hiding hldmgbelund hidingbehind hidingbehind belund behind the baseboard , and then- then then'well thenwell then-well then well - \'well 'well well \ ' , you might mJght hire lure a henhawk henha\'wk henha 'wk wk \ ' to toguard toguard toguard guard your henhouse , , but could you youdepend voudepend ou oudepend depend on his hJS word word9IRVIti word7 word9 word7IRVIN ? IRVI IRVIN IRVIti . ' S . . COBB COllI > 0 < 0r ' Western \\r r \ \ rstern stern Newspaper Union Umon . . . |