OCR Text |
Show I SEEN EEN and HEARD HE4RD EAUD I IC -C C - Oho1 Oho1J Oho1MAIN > > - J "MAIN MAIN " MAIN STREET STUEET STRLT STREETI ( I IAM AM 11-.f 11.f 11 .f f ' - , .tl tl . .tlt .tlA .tlI .tldst . h- h hI " - . - - I - I t A I dst t < ; st t \ week ucek eek sc ! > several c\ c cera \ eral era 1 1oab ltoab 1oabhoml ltoabhome 'Moabhome- 'Moabhome Moabhome 'Moabhomewere ' ! homl home ' " , - , " were "ere ere robber . The tlllcf thief tlllcfaho thiefalso tlncfal&o tlncfalo aho also & entered the time editor's editors edltor ' ' ' place placeand , and anti jftcr .Jeter Jeter after . rinsachms r\nsltkmg r nsltkmg rsnsarking ' \ : the house houseleft , left a $5 5 $ bill bllt on tilt the . . dresser drcsser . , . I . , f . , fDefinition DefinItionPROSPEROUS DefinitionPROSPEROUS Definition DefinitionPROSPEROUS PROSPEROUS TIMES . , When Whenpe.ple Whenpeople Whenpeople pe.ple peple people . make payments on ten tenthings tenthings things thingst ' \ it \t t tt one once one ( e , . instead instc\d instc d lnste'id lnsteid ' \ ' of cuer cue cne r . , r * . , r * . , rIf If Sunday Swtday motor a'cHcnts acHcnts acctdcnts acctdcntscontinue accidentscontinue ( ' } contInue to mcreise mcre'1se mcre1se increase ' it " won't wont "on't ont ' be belong belong I Ilong long before a lot of us will wlll hne have haveto haveto I to :0 0 go : so ? to chuch ehurh chuck for safet safety's safetys safeh's safehs 's s ' ' sikc s\ke s ke sake ' \ . r . . , .A A . . . , .A A . A traveler travelE'r ' was groping gropmg his Ins v.ay vay way v.aym waym , . waym m a dense fog down a norroane norrow norro\\ norro \ alley- alley - alleyway ane allev-way allev way - way \ \ ay in 2n London when he suddenl suddenly suddenlybumped suddenlybumped } bumped into moo mto another man ma.n . coming comingin I Im m in the opposite OPPSlte : direction'Wherc direction Where 'Wherc Wherc ' am I going ? ' he asked of ofthe ofthe I Ithe the strangerI stranger'Into stranger stranger'Into I ' 'Into Into ' Into the r1\er- r1 er r1erI riser--I riser I river-- river riverjust \ - - - I ! just Juct ; come out " S . , r * . r * . , r"So I "So So " yo you you youre re the bill collector9 collector ? " Well Welljust , ' , just well'ljust take that big pile here on well'l welll my myd mydesk mydesk d desk sk " . DefinitionNEAT Definition DefinitionNEAT ' NEAT AFTER DINNER SPEECH"Walter SPEECH"Waiter SPEECH SPEECH"Waiter Definition'I 'I I -"Walter "Walter Walter -"Waiter "Waiter Waiter - "Waiter Waiter " , give me that check " S . r . r . , rDr Dr Williams Wjlll1ams Wlliams ' " "You'll Youll " ' ruin rein your yourstomach yourstomach yourslomach stomach , man , man , , drinking dnnking that stuff " . . Old Soak- Soak SoakTSalI ' - "Sall Sall " TSalI 'Salt Salt ' right , 'sail sail ' nght right nghtI nghtIt rightIt rightIt I It ItOn \\On On w \ wont On t shoW shoWW1th show with W1th my coat on " . . * . r . rFarmer I ! Farmer Farme ; : rdNQ "Nor Nor "NorI " ' 'No No ' , I couldn't couldnt ' think thinkchargin thinkchargin I Icha.rgin cha.rgin chargin . ' yroq yroqfor yo yon " for lor the cider eider . Thatwould Thatwould That Thatwould would . , be be7 ; bootleggm bootlegg.n bootleggn bootleggin . ' - and andpraise andpraise andpraise praise the Lord , . I 1 ain't aint am't amt ' come to totbat tothat tothat tbat that yet That peck of potatesWill potatesswill potates potates.will swill , .will will . be fiver fiverdollars five dollars ollars . . " Ac . . . 1 When the other , fellow is set in inhis inhis inhis his way , . h he heis is s _ obstinate obstinatewhen , ' -when when 'When - youare youare you youare are , you arerbemg ofibeing of ' f'1 f1 ( ' ibeing being rmClient rm . . . Client Jus < ( just jus aquitted aqwtted of burglary burglary"Well burglaryWell ) "Well Well " good bye pye , ye , . Mr Melich I I11 I11drop IIIdrop 11 11drop drop Jnton inion Jnton110n in j ion on -110n 110n - you yot1 some time " fr , , Mr , . Milecn M1lech Milecli ; : "All All " right , , , but makeit make makeit ' it in thfr the- the thedaYflme theda'time - - daytime daYflme da'time datime ' , , please " . . . A stout woman woman wedged into mto a acro aeiiowded acrowded croded eiiowded cro\\ cro ' \ ded street cad difficulty gethng getting gethngmto gettinginto gettinginto mto into her tightly buttoned jacket to toextract toextract toextract extract her clare ( fare . . "Madam Madam 1\fudam 1 fudam "Mhdam Mhdam ' " ' \ ; , ) * " ' ' said he man nc next newt t to tohcr toher toher hcr her , durm during- during duringher ' : ' " \ , - * her bcr fruitless struggles struggles'let struggleslet , ' 'let let ' me payour pa ; ) our fare " She prote protested ted rather indignantly mdlgnantl } . , "My My " ' only\reason only reason onlylreason only \ treason for wishing wishmg to to'I todo todo 'I I do so , , " he said , , "is is " that you've youve ' un- un tin- tin unbuttoned tinbuttoned un unbuttoned - ' buttoned my suspenders three times timestlj timestrying timestrying tlj trying mg to get into mto your pocket " timesI I S . r . r . i Dcf DefinitionPUBLIC Definition DefinitionPUBLIC Dltlon DltlonPUBLIC ( PUBLIC SPEAKING Proposmg Proposing Proposingto Proposmgto to a girl glII in the country over a aparty aparty aparty party liner line r * . r . r * . rA A thousa thousand thousaid ( d peciple pecrJle people , : \ were ere killed by bytigers bytigers bytigers tigers last year Hearst ' will 'w111 w111 proba- proba probaI probably probably probaibiy - I , ibiy bly \ want ant to blame Roosevelt f01that foi f01 for foithat forthat thatr that r * r * . , r . rAduce f01I I Advice AdIce Aduce Ad\ Ad \ Ice to Bndcs Bndes Brides BndcsIts BndesIt BridesIts It Its s all right nght to \ worship \ orship your yourhusband vouihusband om husband but remember he doesn omII tcare tcare t tcare II care for burnt offerings ' S * . r * . r * . rPuzzle PuzzleWhy PuzzleWhy Puzzle PuzzleWhy Why is 15 it that Swiss Siss S\\ S \ \ iss cheese has hasthe hasthe hasthe the holeshereas holes whereas \\hereas hereas \ It its 5 hmbmgerthat limbuigerthat limbuiger hmbmger limbuigerthat that needs the ventilation0 ventllatlOn ventilation ? " * . , . 111 III Ill be frank with w1th you said the theyoung thevoung I oung young man after their rst embrace embraceYou embraceYou embraceYou You re not the first girl gfrl embraceI I Ise Isekissed Ivekissed ve vekIssed I kIssed ' I 111 n 11 " . be equally frank " replied rephed the themodeln themodern themodem I modeln modern miss You Youve ve ye got a lot to tolearn tolearn toleam learn toI I * . r * . r * . , rPOME POl\IE POl IE POME POlIEYour POMEYour POMEYour \ Your wife W1fe will listen I1sten to excusesTor e'Ccusesrcr excuses e'Ccuses eCcuses excusesFor ' e'CcusesI I keepThen For rcr Tor the late latc hours that you keep , Then ' you'll youll 'ou'n oun ' listen , lI listen ten , listen hsten , I ITill Till , , cxhiustcd e\.h\usted e.husted e .h h usted e'thausted ethausted ' \ . ' \ , , fall faU asleepr asleep r * . r * . , r . rDefinition DeCIDlhonGOLD Definition DeCIDlhon DefinitionGOLD DefinitionGOLD GOLD DIGGER The \ wife ife who whosaj5 whosays whosavs saj-5 saj 5 says - ' 'Deal Deal ' Dear , , 3011 you ) OU don dont t love me mc any anymore anymore anymore more You couldn t 10 love lore ' e a . \ woman womanwith \ oman omanI omanlth \ with \\lth lth \ such old clothes as Ivear I \ wear \vear vear ' ' I ! * . r . , r . rDon Dn Don Dnt : t make fun of the lad'rho lad \'rho 'rho rho who \ ' whobelieves 'rhobeUeves beUeves believes in Sinta S'1nta S1nta Santa ' Claus You 11 n plO- plO pro- pro - babl bably pio-bably pio bably plObabl probably promises ' believe beheve the c-impiign c impiign c'Ullp9.ign cUllp9.ign cUllp9ign campaign ' - . pro- pro pro - mises the candida candidates tes will w1l1 make tIus this tIusyear thisyear thisyear year yearr r * . , r * . rPercy . Percy Percyifflctrcc's \\ifflctrcc's ifflctrcc's ifflctrccs "IfrIetrcc's IfrIetrccs Ilffletrec's Ilffletrecs "IfrIetrcc'slCe " \ \ % ' ' wife \lCe lCe \ IS I broaclmmded broadminded isbroadminded ISbroaclmmded She Site admits there thereare therearc j arc are two sides to e e'er eer eyeo , ' er y question , ' her's hers question'hcr's questionhcrs ' ' ' and her mother's mothers ' . I * . . * . I IIt IIt It \ was as so quiet in 111 town last j Thursday Thursdaye lastThursday \ we \\e e vve could heal hear our notes drawinginterest notesdrawing notesdralng dra\\lng dra lng drawing \ \ interest mterest at the bank I I * . r * . , . SAYINGS"I'm ORIGINAL SAYINGSI SAYINGS I I I"I'm "I'm Im " ' ' ' sure I've Ive ' ' met 'you you ' some some- somewhere somewhere - someIwhere where before " some-I some I " " ' ' allthe "You're Youre sort of ( dATercnt lit.Tcrent litTcrent diiVferent . from all the other oilier gIrl girls " I know knon " " I | 'My My 'ZUy ZUy ' ( God ffid ' Your eJcs eics 03 cs ' " " " ' "Where Where " " "here here " Ita\ Ita liav have Itae ' \ e a you been all my mvlife mylife " life ? I | "I I " think we're were we'rc werc ' out of gas " "A A gas"A gasA " little httle petting pettmg never ne\er ne er \ hurt an- an any- any any } - body anybody anbody . ; " ' 'Ta Ta ' Ta , . ta , . little httle gu girl ] JIa\ JIa Have JIae hate ' \ e a mce nice mcewalk nicewalk nicewalk walk . " . " |