Show I rl V O BEING BE V 4 tashan utter I s Y LOOKING ON THE my By y Montague Gla Glass s. s I Aba Potash ES I Abe v VAC j said as ho laid down the morning paper after glancing glancing glanc glanc- I Isaid ing itH over ocr tho a alarming head head- feller which has got gol stomach 1 r r the thC toothache nowadays Jsn isn is Js isn n n luck because when youve you've trouble you ou couldn't out but nothing else and what is Js TS thing filling like stomach trouble to tover JEver ver er with all an the which in to the world nowadays jl t then have stomach trouble I advised Jm Jia do you vou mean mean have have stomach j. j Abe Abc said A man couldn't trouble the tho same sarno way ho bo hoI I et drunk It is thing which is just so much beI beur be- be I pur our ur control as red hair hall or a anor anor tinor nor voice u irei I know Morris agreed what hat is happening in Russia taly is also beyond your our control so it if them Bolshevik is getting our nerves and you hate to pick pickie ie paper for fear of finding that I Germans would have captured understand me console your- your I with the idee that theres there's a lot I II tiny I y fellers in this country courtry which h I l lug ing g all aU they know how to handle over in the old country then ihen till if you want something near m to worry worm about like stomach I ile le theres there's plenty I sf people in orphan and fand d hospitals right here in New v. Ne City which will be very glad I lYe ive you ou worry over them in a ai i ical l wa way out of what youve you've got b ten youre you're through paying Inand in inand inland in- in land and excise profit taxes Abe a be there is some people which d 1 lp be e so upset over having to wenty dollars donars or so to an anin m in asylum or a hospital Maw Maw- hat liat for the time being they J forget how General Crozier the machine guns yet yet said but me I aint built that I When it says in the panel pape ahe e a I l he Germans is sending all all j Soldiers away from the Russian e. e e Italian front it b that some people could read i III ry not to worry by sending lars liars to them Highwaymen I for fori formIng j i mIng hg ng the Condition of the Poor i r s s but when I read it it Maw Maw- I how its it's all aU up to them themI I ki In Russia and I get awful l' l the noor noor-in noor in especially the poor I at at are you vou worrying your head hat they put in the papers papers' t I shed Seventy five per cent bridgeheads which the Ger- Ger 1 tune ture in the New York members morn mem I ers bers well wen be ers might just so Villages except that the re- re I I would have to look up thes the thes the's s of f the villages on the map be- be i i j pone orne editors are very parti particular ular i i y they insist that the reI re- re j I I use the name of or a real i g l if h he puts down that i bridge i ens ans has captured a bridge bridge- 11 the Pia Piave P river he lie could ro ifO ot o t t to lunch and he never e even en n 5 think that if somebody would G p 1 the number of bridgeheads I Ih h Germans he-Germans has captured that 1 i hI he New York morning papers i e Piave river would got ot to be from end end solid with bridges I Iam i am just so bad had as a a. re- re 1 I T T never nE' stop to t that hat liat neither r Abe admitted d. d I n r nature that I 1 couldn't help I g g- the foolishness which Ithe I Ithe the papers and if the Ger- Ger I Ge-I a bridgehead ad on me in m Sporting Edition with Final Wall WallI t Complete lete they might just so soR iture ture it in Hal Italy and be done R 1 because if I T pia play cards I s couldn't keep my mind on ame tame anyhow Only Onh last Sunday I I hundred and fifty hand ales ages with wilh an extra ace and kings king s nd ad me when T happened to 18 bout reading in the paper I he e Germans is going to build I t spring submarines in extra j I x x hundred feet long lone under I nd the consequence was I II IIo It j t o 0 meld a twenty in clubs and I lie he TO hand b by eighteen points Bel Be- Be l ell eli asleep that night I thought I that that Germany couldn't build big submarine as the papers I JUt by that time I was out dollars on the hand anyway I If ats ais tn the way war affects me I f s s. I that's where you ou are making mistake Abe Abc Morris com com- ids because even when the anti arti- lick they print In the news news- lie s true truc yun If It you you n. n t r r 1 J. J 1 1 I t f ft e L r i I I iV t I t i 4 I ID D t i rte r vl I I II I I Y Y x I r i aw ry r k nAi Nr i d r I 1 4 c 1 1 y s r tf j i X yn t I pi x r 57 fix r t j 1 I r q L f I i I r t I 1 L 5 ay d S' S 44 nu S JW X t P. P WT L ry 1 i i So the way it goes in Germany The people ask for bread and they give em a report on Norwegian steamers steamers steamers' sunk b by U-boats U during the curre current nt week I y i on only 3 stop to figure them out right I Ii i Abe you ou could could get a whole lot of encouragement that wa way Take for instance when you OU read v via a Amsterdam Amsterdam Amsterdam Amster- Amster dam that General HIndenburg Is now commanding the western front Abe Abc I and with some people that would I throw a big scare into em yuncler stand but with me not Abe because the way I look at it Is from ex ox- I Ive I've known lots jots lots of fellers from 70 to to 75 years ears old Abe and in particular mj my wife's mothers mother's a brother Old Man lan Baum Daum in the cotton convert converting ng business Theres There's a feller which be ho actually went to work and i married his stenographer when he lie iwas was 72 Abe and compare compared to an undertaking like that running the i western front would be childs child's play Abe and yet when all was said and done if if he went to Saturday night and eats afterwards a little Chicken a la la King it was a case of ringing up a doctor at 3 o'clock Sunday morning while his wife wife's g relations sat around his flat figuring the inheritance tax Now take HIndenburg which he is six months alder ilder as Old Man Ian Baum Abe and what that feller has went through in the last three YE years alS al'S two lifetimes in the cotton converting business wouldn't be a marker to it It understand me and still there are people which is worried that when he begins to run things on the western western west west- westi i ern em front it Is going to be a serious matter for the allies ames instead of the Germans Yes Abe Morris continued with I all the things them Germans has gotto gotto got gotto to attend to on the western front its it's no cinch to hate on their hands an old man man 72 years ears of age which i if anything should happen to the old Rosher Kosher like acute indigestion from eating too much gruel or lumbago them real generals on the western front would never hear the end of it Aint Hindenburg also a a real general general gen gen- eral Abe asked Not an old man like that Abe Morris replied lie He used to was areal a areal areal real general but now he ho is 18 just a mascot for the Germans and a bogeyman bogey bogeyman bogeyman man for us which I bet yer the most that feller does docs to help along the war waris waris' waris waris' waris is is' is to wear weal warm warm woolen underwear keep out of draughts and not get his feet wet under any circumstances athis at athis athis his age Furthermore Abe Abc I aint so sure that the Germans is Js withdrawing so many soldiers as the they claim from the tho Russian front frontier Er neither u H IJ xa Pt r f T N wt 1 I L j r I I y 1 r 1 4 7 7 Pi y 4 a nt r M r wf f If x Y A P Ji btu t i f y i l 1 J 1 i ast Sunday I had a three hundred and fifty hand in spades with an anra ra king when I happened to think about reading in the paper where He Germans i is going to build submarines in in extra sized six hundred feet ing Ong g and the Consequence was waG I forgot to meld a twenty in in clubs and andEst Est It the hand by y y eighteen points I stand because the way them Bol- Bol has swung around to Germany Germany Ger- Ger t I many must sound to the kaiser almost almost almost al- al j most too good to be true and I bet yer also he figures that maybe mayb It t. t i isn't because nobody knows better as as the the kais kaiser r how much reliance you OU I could place on a deal between one I country and another even when its it's I in writing and signed b by the party to tobe tobe I be Le charged which for all an anyone anyone on could tell whether Russia is now it i 1 government a a coI coi cor- cor i I 01 or only so to speak a voluntary voluntary voluntary volun- volun tary association Abe Abc the kaiser might Just as well sign his his peace treat treaty with Pavlova and as as' asi as asI i I with Lenine and so far as OK ax axi I binding the Russian people is con con- I It aint a peace treaty which them fellers wants to sign stun Abe j i Isaid said Its a bill of or sale which T I i see that Lenine and end agrees Germany German should Import goods into j Russia freer free o ot of duty uty and that she I Ij I I j should Itt t r 1 hd and ana and Courland and a lot of other territory and if that's what I is called making I peace russ Ua then you vou might just justi j jI I i as well say that a law suit is cornI comI com com- I j promised by allowing the the- feller fetler which sues to get a judgment and have ha the I j I shE sheriff riff collect on it I i And An at that Abe Morris said I 1 there aint a German merchant which wouldn't be only too delighted to swap his rights to import goods i into Russia free of duty after the i war for three-quarters three of a pound i I of porterhouse steak and a cent 10 I j loaf of or white whap bread right n now now w. w which i i the way food is so scarce nowadays j in Germany Abe Abc when a a. Berlin business bus- bus iness mess mans man's family gets through with the Sunday dinner and th the servant i girl clears off orf the table theres there's no noI I use asking should she give the tIle bones hones honesto j to the dog because the chances is they are the dog understand me As AsI Asfor I for sugar we think weve we've got a kick lIck kickI I coming oming when we could only gE get t two j teaspoonfuls to a cup of coffee for I 5 cents whereas in Ger Ger- many they would consider themselves j I luck lucky if they could get set two teaspoon teaspoon- I fuss fuls to a gallon of coffee Jf if f they had hada a gallon of coffee in the entire country country coun- coun I j I try understand me So that's the Iway I Iway way way y it goes In Germany German j I the people ask for bread and the they give em a report on Norwegian I steamers sunk by U-boats U during the current week and if one of the steamers was wits loaded loade with loaded with sugar yun der tan that aint going oin to be he much satisfaction to a i German ferman which has hass got a sweet tooth an and has been trying to make male out with one two grain saccharin sac- sac I charm charin tablet e every ry ery forty eight hours I neither i i I But the Germans Hermans seems to be he j i I making a lot or f f progress every every- i 1 wheres eres Abe said Except J at home Morris declared i Maybe laybe the German nerman people still feels I I encouraged when the German army get of or morn mor territory Abe Abc but hut its itsu a question o of of a short time now when the German people is going to realize that they th dont don't h need ed no 10 more room to starve in than they they've c got at present and that a a nation can go o broke just as comfortably in square miles as us it can in square miles Sure I know Abe oe agree agreed but butone one mu thing Germany has fixed already la and that is that she sho is going g to get a whole hol lot dot of customers in Russia Well Ven if Ir she does Morris commented commented commented com com- shell have hae to provide the capital to to set feet them customers up in business and after she has done that j Abe Ahe she will wiil wile have hae to hustle around to drum up UJ trade trade for them Russian I customers because when the I vilt got through with their fine work I in Russia Abe the Russian people wont won't have enough purchasing power I to make ft t t a fair territory for a salesman salesman salesman sales sales- man with a line of E Ei 5 and cent 10 store supplies So if Germany started i this here bore war to get more trade she's 1 I already lIcke licked I I Then what does she go on fighting fight fight- in ing for tor Abe Abo asked It seems to me that if we saw we couldn't accomplish accomplish accomplish I nothing by going on fighting wed we'd stop aint it Sure we would Morris agreed but then Abe we aint got nothing to stop us from stopping because we aint fighting for the sako sake of fighting fighting fighting fight fight- ing the way Von Mackensen l and are doing Take for instance instance- Von and that Kosher Rosher insists that the U-boats U is going o owin o 0 owin win the war so it dont don't make no difference to him how man many German sailors goes down in U-boats U hes he's going to keep on sending out boats U right up UI to the time the German people shoots him and his last words I i will be that the reason why th the i U-boats U didn't win the war was as because bc- bc cI c- c I cause the they didn't have a fair tail trial r Then theres there's Mackensen acid Luden- Luden I dorff which they've got their i ees j about how the war should be won I and they mean to see that their i ees eesI j I I continue to ha have haa a fair trial till there I aint enough German soldiers alive to toI I give them ideas a fair trial anon and 1 that's the way it goes Abe Abc All An the i ees that we want to give a fair fall trial is that we are going to keep on fighting till weve we've proved to the German German German Ger Ger- man people that it dont don't pay to back bael backup backup up the Von I and I Mackensen And how long is this going to toI I take Abe inquired Not so long as you you- ou think Abe Morris lorris replied because Germany ma may have haye made peace with Russia but she has las still got fighting against her England France Hal Italy America Starvation Bad Business Conceit Lies LiC's and Stubbornness And An in the meantime 1 Abe said going to happen I to us us' us usi us Morris Dont worry about said All America merica has got to do is isIto isI I j Ito to try to be an optician and look on oni i I i the bright side of things and she's i bound to win out in the end I Copyright 1918 1915 b by tho the McClure Newspaper Newspaper Newspaper News- News paper Syndicate |