Show Column oi Strays Tb II L i thin then tM th pa Eee Cradlebaugh MacPherson You cant can't get rid of your stenographer by marrying l her er I I h p 10 oio 1 I I 4 F t DAILY THOUGHT I t Theres There's one good thing about I IM i v M enemies they enemies they advertise you 0 I t. oJ 10 1 I d d i i d' d r oJ- bh i TESSIE ON HER WAY Miss Jessica Grimes started her new dramatic play Lovers for New York today on the Pollywog She Sho was down to the station to soe see it off pee Pee Dee Deo Mo Patriot Y The manager of a local picture picture picture pic pic- ture house found 10 in currency in the lobby of hsi yes yes- Being of a generous disposition disposition disposition dis dis- dis- dis position he distributed it among the ushers A short time afterward afterward after after- ward ward a woman apparently much worried sought out the manager Did you find anything in the theatre today she queried The manager was up against it He didn't like to ask the boys for the money so he handed the woman 10 She thanked him effusively It If w was only worth 5 when it was new she said That the the the-er er what did you lose asked the manager A little breast pin replied the woman as she tripped happily happily happily hap hap- away Salt Lake City Utah Sept 26 1916 Editor Telegram Endeared Sir I Sir I have frequently frequently frequently fre fre- sent you poems of a very high order but never once have I had the satisfaction of seeing any in print I have hav taken the homely subjects about me for themes and have tried to make them ornate and beautiful But what's the use if the editor is a highbrow Perhaps your taste runs toward Mrs Hemans Heman's style But Ill I'll forgive you and send you more poetry as the muse inspires me Hopefully yours MISS GERTIE JONES Heres Here's what Gertie Gertle did to us and us-and and we hope she does it again THE fHE FAIR The nags and jackasses are parceled in classes The chester white pigs and the wild Jersey cow The pumpkin and apple from which we make sasses And the cucumber pickle from which wo we make chow The noisy old thresher a and d reaper and binder f The new tractor and gasoline churn Are snorting and puffing a gentle re reminder reminder reminder re- re minder That farmers this season have money to burn Theres There's the quilt with a thousand and ninety ninety nine nine patches Whose maker went ent nutty when through with her job Theres There's the hen that lays eggs that the day after hatches Theres There's the duck and the goose and the old turkey gob I Theres There's the the fruit fruit man and farmer from Richfield and Cedar Who eat the food samples and guzzle near beer And the old time soil tiller come down from Heber Hes He's asking his fiends fends Is the snake charmer here 1 JINXED Beginning inning his last three voyages on Friday a Portland sea captain has been wrecked three times S I Phil The world Is the bivalve of the man who can find some use for an amateur Can the editors of the Stray Column take a joke Sure they Sure they just stole this one from froman an Eastern paper |