Show r. r so Elsa Maxwells Maxwell's I I Daily Doily Particles of Patter Putter But you above all all I said in your profession must know the feeling the agony of r. real steal suspense I We were talking talk- talk ling ing about the tension ten s ion and andI t I tempo of a new i picture and f. f II I pointed an acI ac- ac r 1 I cusing finger at r I former Ambash Ambas- Ambas h Joe KenI Ken Ken- L I ne edy y I I dont don't know know said Joe k theres not so lS much much suspense in an ambassadors ambassador's ambassadors ambassador's ambassadors ambassador's dors dor's work 4 Oh no Joe l I said bliss Us Maxwell not your main profession The suspense I mean comes v in to your chief work work- being being the father of 11 children That's fa a claim to fame no other diplomat diplomat diplo- diplo mat has enjoyed with the possible exception of some nineteenth nineteenth nine- nine century pashas and anda fa I. I rajah here and there I had just been reading Im Gonna Be a Father the new book of the cartoonist Bob Dunn who is as brassy as his c character Bixby And RAnd after spending an evening r looking at a condensed graphic Aversion version erslon of fatherhood I was beginning to feel like lile a a. father myself I was ready to run out Pin in the woods the way certain Indians do and carry carryon on like a whirling dervish while some isome suffering long-suffering woman went quietly about her way giving birth to pound eight-pound twins as efficiently as Ely Culbertson would double or redouble in clubs Later I asked Bob how he came to knock out this book jilts jilt's Its simple Bob said When ll I took my wife to the hospital the nurses said Never mind about labout her grab him Then I knew I had to have a a. book Maybe it was jealousy After all a man has to give birth to something How about the waiting Jn jn in the papas' papas waiting room I IJ J asked Were you calmer than toe The Kennedy was was his near dozen Bob times Not quite said First I had to give myself my- my self a sense of guilt Every time I saw a a. looking good-looking nurse I made myself look the other way Not while she's up there you ou dog I said to myself Play cricket Then came the thc business business busi- busi ness iness of the minute every Any news knows On my fortieth visit to the window the nurse said At past last Mr Dunn we have great news for you you the the Dodgers won The first day I knew what was going to happen Bob told me I I got into the as usual and found just as we had pulled out of the tunnel that some fool wa was yelling Im Tm gonna be a father Im I'm gonna be a father Its funny I said to myself but some guys have to yell these things all over the place Suddenly I discovered everybody was looking at me It was my own voice I was hearing hearing hearing hear hear- ing as were other com com- That's how I got the title title out out of the air Although Ive I've never been a father myself I can imagine that the greatest joy in the world world world-at at least for a a. man man man- comes when he looks down on the little wrinkled slightly monkey-like monkey face of his mewling little newborn child even if like lile Punch in the Punch and Judy show he only looks at it for a few minutes before tossing it out of the window When Napoleon was having his first child by Marie Louise he paced the floor frantically This was the moment moment moment mo mo- ment for which he had waited so many years and for the lack of which he had divorced Josephine Suddenly as though by sympathetic magic he was stricken with violent pains The strongest generals of his army had to hold his hands courtiers stroked his troubled brow Marie Louise went about her maternal business simply and calmly as queens will and emperors wont Well none of these has been my problem All An Ive I've ever sired Is ideas and they have havea a a. way of being born most painfully in the dead of night and and boomeranging back in the morning Sometimes I think that being the father of ideas is really more satisfying in inthe inthe inthe the long run For after all as soon as youve you've had one idea you youcan youcan youcan can right away have another But being a a. father is well limited unless limited unless you happen to be the Nizam of the Maharaja of or Eddie Eddie Eddie Ed Ed- die Cantor Press Alliance Inc |